Peck's Compendium of Fun eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 292 pages of information about Peck's Compendium of Fun.

Very Respectfully,


Prof. of Chemistry in Jefferson Livery stable, and late Veterinary Surgeon 4th Wis.  Cavalry.

* * * * *

We have known Mr. Brown long and well, and his statement in regard to the water can be relied upon.  Citizens should retain a copy of this analysis for future reference.

Mr. E.W.  Keyes, of Madison, writing under date of August 1st, says:  “The La Crosse water you sent me has caused an entire new crop of hair to grow upon my head.  I had been bald for years, and offered five hundred dollars, for any medicine that would cause hair to grow.  Enclosed find five hundred dollars, and send me more water.  I want to try it on Murphey, of the Sentinel.  I think it would be a good joke on Murphey.”

But wait till we get all the letters written from prominent men who have been cured.


It is announced in the papers that Colonel Ingersoll, the dollar-a-ticket infidel, has struck it rich in a silver mine, and is now worth a million dollars.  Here is another evidence of the goodness of God.  Ingersoll has treated God with the greatest contempt, called him all the names he could think of, called him a liar, a heartless wretch, and stood on a stump and dared God to knock a chip off his shoulder, and instead of God’s letting him have one below the belt and knocking seven kinds of cold victuals out of him, God gives him a pointer on a silver mine, and the infidel rakes in a cool million, and laughs in his sleeve, while thousands of poor workers in the vineyard are depending for a livelihood on collections that pan out more gun wads and brass pants buttons to the ton of ore than they do silver.

This may be all right, and we hope it is, and we don’t want to give any advice on anybody else’s business, but it would please Christians a good deal better to see that bold man taken by the slack of the pants and lifted into the poor house, while the silver he has had fall to him was distributed among the charitable societies, mission schools and churches, so a minister could get his salary and buy a new pair of trousers to replace those that he has worn the knees out of kneeling down on the rough floor to pray.

It is mighty poor consolation to the ladies of a church society to give sociables, ice creameries, strawberry festivals and all kinds of things to raise money to buy a carpet for a church or lecture room, and wash their own dishes than hear that some infidel who is around the country calling God a pirate and horse thief, at a dollar a head, to full houses, has miraculously struck a million dollar silver mine.

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Peck's Compendium of Fun from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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