is fast filling up and everybody swears it is the
most enjoyable place on the continent. It is certainly
the cheapest for us La Crosse folks to go. We
don’t know of a place where, for the money invested,
one can have so much fun and get so much health.
You can leave La Crosse at 5:45, and arrive at Sparta
at 6:20, after a delightful ride of thirty miles,
and you will enjoy a race, your train beating the
Northwestern train, and running like lightning.
If you have a pass, or sit on the hind platform, it
will cost you nothing. You can walk down town,
at small expense. You want to take supper before
leaving home, if economy is what you are seeking in
addition to health. Go to Condit, at the Warner
House, and talk as though you were looking for a place
to send your family, and he will hitch up and drive
you all over town. Tell Doc. Nichols you
never tried a Turkish bath, but that you are troubled
with hypochondria and often wish you were dead, and
that if you were sure the baths would help you, you
would come down and take them regular. He will
put you through for nothing, and give you a cigar.
Then you can get a tooth pick at Condit’s and
put your thumb under your vest and go to the springs
and talk loud about railroad stocks and bonds and speculating
in wheat. (It takes two to do it up right. Frank
Hatch and the writer are going down some night to
“do” the watering place). Then you
can swell around till half past ten, and sneak off
to the depot on foot and come home, and your pocket
book will be just as empty as when you started, unless
you get a subscriber, and you will have added bloom
to your cheek, and had a high old time, and next winter
you can talk about the delightful time you passed
at Sparta last summer during the heated term.
Let’s get up a party and go down some night.
What the country needs is a melon from which the incendiary
ingredients have been removed. It seems to me
that by proper care, when the melon is growing on
the vines, the cholera morbus can be decreased, at
least, the same as the cranberry has been improved,
by cultivation. The experiment of planting homeopathic
pills in the hill with the melon has been tried, but
homeopathy, while perhaps good in certain cases, does
not seem to reach the seat of disease in the watermelon.
What I would advise, and the advice is free to all,
is that a porous plaster be placed upon watermelons,
just as they are begining to ripen, with a view to
draw out the cholera morbus. A mustard plaster
might have the same effect, but the porous plaster
seems to me to be the article to fill a want long
felt. If, by this means, a breed of watermelon
can be raised that will not strike terror to the heart
of the consumer, this agricultural address will not
have been delivered in vain.
Last week, a young man from the country west of here
came in on the evening train and walked up to Grand
avenue, with a fresh looking young woman hanging on
to one handle of a satchel while he held the other.
They turned into the Plankinton House, and with a
wild light in his eye the man went to the book and
registered his name and that of the lady with him.