“Yes.” said BROOKFIELD, looking a little more uneasy than before; “very clear, and to the point; but fancy—­er—­I’ve heard it before.”

“Of course you have,” I said.  “It’s in your book; see page 123.  Mind you let me know when your speech in the House is coming off, After reading The Speaker’s A B C, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Business done.—­Dissolution postponed.

* * * * *

HORACE IN LONDON.

TO A MINERAL WATER. (AD FONTEM BANDUSIUM.)

[Illustration]

  O well of Malvern, immaculate fountain;
  Worthy to blend with the Dew of the Mountain,
    To-morrow, thy rill, gushing brightly,
      SCHWEPPE shall aerate slightly;

  SCHWEPPE (pronounced with an accent as spelt, Sir.)
  SCHWEPPE, purveyor of soda and seltzer,
    And potass (for gout in one’s joint meant.)
      Unto the QUEEN, “by appointment.”

  Thee not the furnace of Sirius raging
  Touches; thy natural cool is assuaging,
    Unmixed, to the temperate classes,
      Mixed, for the thirst of wild asses.

  Malvern, with me for thy rhapsodist, what’ll
  Rival the sparkle of bard and of bottle—­
    The bottle in cups effervescent,
      In couplets the bard, as at present.

* * * * *

“LIKE NIOBE” (suggested advertisement for the Strand Theatre).  Instead of boards up on which is inscribed, “House Full,” “No Standing Room,” and so forth, why not simply, “Niobe—­all tiers” (full).

* * * * *

NOTICE—­Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper.  To this rule there will be no exception.