FATHER CHRISTMAS.  Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to see you here at my Court this evening; and in particular my friends Mr. and Mrs. Hubbard, of whom I have been too long neglectful.  However, I hope to make up for it to-night. (To an USHER) Disclose the Christmas Tree!

(The Christmas Tree is disclosed, and—­what do you think?  Children disguised as crackers are hanging from every branch!  Well, I never!)

FATHER CHRISTMAS (quite calmly).  Distribute the presents!

(An USHER takes down the children one by one and places them in a row, reading from the labels on them.  “MRS. HUBBARD, MR. HUBBARD” alternately.)

USHER (handing list to MR. HUBBARD).  Here is the nominal roll, sir.

MR. HUBBARD (looking at it in amazement).  What’s this? (MRS. HUBBARD looks over his shoulder) Ada, Bertram, Caroline—­My darling one!

MRS. HUBBARD.  Henry!  Our children at last!  Oh, are they all—­all there?

MR. HUBBARD.  We’ll soon see, dear.  Ada!

ADA (springing to attention).  Father! (She stands at ease.)

MR. HUBBARD.  Bertram! . . . (And so on up to ELSIE) . . .  Frank!

FRANK.  Father!

MR. HUBBARD.  There you are, darling, I told you he had curly brown hair. . . .  Gwendoline! (And so on.)

MRS. HUBBARD (to FATHER CHRISTMAS).  Oh thank you so much.  It is sweet of you.

MR. HUBBARD (to FATHER CHRISTMAS).  We are slightly overcome.  Do you mind if we just dance it off. (FATHER CHRISTMAS nods genially.) Come on, children!

(He holds out his hands, and he and his wife and the children dance round in a ring singing, “Here we go round the Christmas Tree, all on a Christmas evening. . . .”)

(And then—­But at this moment JAMES and ROSEMARY and the HUBBARD children stopped thinking, so of course the play came to an end.  And if there were one or two bits in it which the children didn’t quite understand, that was JAMES’S fault.  He never ought to have been thinking at all, really.)

MR. PIM PASSES BY

A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS

CHARACTERS

GEORGE MARDEN, J.P. 
OLIVIA (his wife). 
DINAH (his niece). 
LADY MARDEN (his aunt). 
BRIAN STRANGE. 
CARRAWAY PIM. 
ANNE.

* * * * *

The first performance of this play in London took place at the New Theatre on January 5, 1920, with the following cast: 

George Marden—­BEN WEBSTER. 
Olivia—­IRENE VANBRUGH. 
Dinah—­GEORGETTE COHAN. 
Lady Marden—­ETHEL GRIFFIES. 
Brian Strange—­LESLIE HOWARD. 
Carraway Pim—­DION BOUCICAULT. 
Anne—­ETHEL WELLESLEY.

MR. PIM PASSES BY

ACT I