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Table of Contents | |
Section | Page |
Start of eBook | 1 |
Scena Prima | 1 |
Actus Secundus | 9 |
Actus Quartus | 31 |
Actus Quintus | 40 |
RULE A WIFE, AND HAVE A WIFE. | 51 |
[Enter Juan de Castro, and Michael Perez.]
Michael Perez:
Are your Companies full, Colonel?
Juan de Castro:
No, not yet, Sir:
Nor will not be
this month yet, as I reckon;
How rises your
Command?
Michael Perez:
We pick up still,
and as our monies hold out,
We have men come,
about that time I think
We shall be full
too, many young Gallants go.
Juan de Castro:
And unexperienced,
The Wars are dainty
dreams to young hot spirits,
Time and Experience
will allay those Visions,
We have strange
things to fill our numbers,
There’s
one Don Leon, a strange goodly fellow,
Recommended to
me from some noble Friends,
For my Alferes,
had you but seen his Person,
And what a Giants
promise it protesteth.
Michael Perez:
I have heard of him, and that he hath serv’d before too.
Juan de Castro:
But no harm done,
nor never meant, Don Michael,
That came to my
ears yet, ask him a question,
He blushes like
a Girl, and answers little,
To the point less,
he wears a Sword, a good one,
And good Cloaths
too, he is whole skin’d, has no hurt yet,
Good promising
hopes, I never yet heard certainly
Of any Gentleman
that saw him angry.
Michael Perez:
Preserve him,
he’ll conclude a peace if need be,
Many as strong
as he will go along with us,
That swear as
valiantly as heart can wish,
Their mouths charg’d
with six oaths at once, and whole ones,
That make the
drunken Dutch creep into Mole-hills.
171]
Juan de Castro:
’Tis true,
such we must look for: but Mich. Perez,
When heard you
of Donna Margarita, the great Heiress?
Michael Perez:
I hear every hour
of her, though I never saw her,
She is the main
discourse: noble Don Juan de Castro,
How happy were
that man could catch this Wench up,
And live at ease!
she is fair, and young, and wealthy,
Infinite wealthy,
and as gracious too
In all her entertainments,
as men report.
Juan de Castro:
But she is proud,
Sir, that I know for certain,
And that comes
seldome without wantonness,
He that shall
marry her, must have a rare hand.
Michael Perez:
Would I were married,
I would find that Wisdom,
With a light rein
to rule my Wife: if ever Woman
Of the most subtile
mould went beyond me,
I would give the
Boys leave to whoot me out o’th’ Parish.
[Enter a Servant.]
Servant:
Sir, there be
two Gentlewomen attend to speak
With you.
Juan de Castro:
Wait on ’em in.
Michael Perez:
Are they two handsome Women?
Servant:
They seem so, very handsom, but they are vail’d, Sir.
Michael Perez:
Thou put’st
sugar in my mouth, how it melts with me!
I love a sweet
young Wench.
Juan de Castro:
Wait on them in
I say.
[Exit
Servant.
Michael Perez:
Don Juan.
Juan de Castro:
How you itch,
Michael! how you burnish!
Will not this
Souldiers heat out of your bones yet,
Do your Eyes glow
now?
Michael Perez:
There be two.
Juan de Castro:
Say honest, what shame have you then?
Michael Perez:
I would fain see
that,
I have been in
the Indies twice, and have seen strange things,
But two honest
Women;—one I read of once.
Juan de Castro:
Prithee be modest.
Michael Perez:
I’ll be any thing.
[Enter Servant, Donna Clara, and Estifania vail’d.]
Juan de Castro:
You are welcome Ladies.
Michael Perez:
Both hooded, I
like ’em well though,
172] They come not for advice in Law sure hither;
May be they would
learn to raise the Pike,
I am for ’em:
they are very modest, ’tis a fine Preludium.
Juan de Castro:
With me, or with
this Gentleman,
Would you speak,
Lady?
Clara:
With you, Sir, as I guess, Juan de Castro.
Michael Perez:
Her Curtain opens, she is a pretty Gentlewoman.
Juan de Castro:
I am the Man,
and shall be bound to Fortune,
I may do any service
to your Beauties.
Clara:
Captain, I hear
you are marching down to Flanders,
To serve the Catholick
King.
Juan de Castro:
I am sweet Lady.
Clara:
I have a Kinsman, and a noble Friend, Imploy’d in those Wars, may be, Sir, you know him, Don Campusano Captain of Carbines, To whom I would request your Nobleness, To give this poor Remembrance.
[A Letter.
Juan de Castro:
I shall do it,
I know the Gentleman, a most worthy Captain.
Clara:
Something in private.
Juan de Castro:
Step aside: I’ll serve
thee.
[Ex.
Juan, and Clara.
Michael Perez:
Prithee let me see thy face.
Estifania:
Sir, you must pardon me,
Women of our sort, that maintain fair memories,
And keep suspect off from their Chastities,
Had need wear thicker Vails.
Michael Perez:
I am no blaster
of a Ladies Beauty,
Nor bold intruder
on her special favours,
I know how tender
Reputation is,
And with what
guards it ought to be preserv’d, Lady,
You may to me.
Estifania:
You must excuse
me, Seignior, I come
Not here to sell
my self.
Michael Perez:
As I am a Gentleman, by the honour of a Souldier.
Estifania:
I believe you,
I pray you be
civil, I believe you would see me,
And when you have
seen me I believe you will like me,
But in a strange
place, to a stranger too,
As if I came on
purpose to betray you,
Indeed I will
not.
173]
Michael Perez:
I shall love you
dearly,
And ’tis
a sin to fling away affection,
I have no Mistress,
no desire to honour
Any but you, will
not this Oyster open?
I know not, you
have struck me with your modesty;
She will draw
sure; so deep, and taken from me
All the desire
I might bestow on others,
Quickly before
they come.
Estifania:
Indeed I dare
not:
But since I see
you are so desirous, Sir,
To view a poor
face that can merit nothing
But your Repentance.
Michael Perez:
It must needs be excellent.
Estifania:
And with what
honesty you ask it of me,
When I am gone
let your man follow me,
And view what
house I enter, thither come,
For there I dare
be bold to appear open:
And as I like
your vertuous carriage then,
[Enter Juan, Clara, a Servant.]
I shall be able
to give welcome to you;
She hath done
her business, I must take my leave, Sir.
Michael Perez:
I’ll kiss
your fair white hand and thank you, Lady.
My man shall wait,
and I shall be your Servant;
Sirrah, come near,
hark.
Servant:
I shall do it
faithfully.
[Exit.
Juan de Castro:
You will command me no more services?
Clara:
To be careful of your noble health,
dear Sir,
That I may ever honour you.
Juan de Castro:
I thank you,
And kiss your hands, wait on the Ladies down
there.
[Exeunt Ladies, and Servants.
Michael Perez:
You had the honour to see the face that came to you?
Juan de Castro:
And ’twas a fair one; what was yours, Don Michael?
Michael Perez:
Mine was i’th’
clipse, and had a Cloud drawn over it.
But I believe
well, and I hope ’tis handsome,
She had a hand
would stir a holy Hermite.
Juan de Castro:
You know none of ’em?
Michael Perez:
No.
Juan de Castro:
Then I do, Captain,
174] But I’ll say nothing till I see the proof
on’t,
Sit close Don
Perez, or your Worship’s caught.
I fear a Flye.
Michael Perez:
Were those she brought Love-Letters?
Juan de Castro:
A Packet to a
Kinsman now in Flanders,
Yours was very
modest methought.
Michael Perez:
Some young unmanag’d
thing,
But I may live
to see—
Juan de Castro:
’Tis worth
experience,
Let’s walk
abroad and view our Companies.
[Exeunt.
[Enter Sanchio, and Alonzo.]
Sanchio:
What, are you for the Wars, Alonzo?
Alonzo:
It may be I,
It may be no,
e’n as the humour takes me.
If I find peace
amongst the female Creatures,
And easie entertainment,
I’ll stay at home,
I am not so far
obliged yet to long Marches
And mouldy Biskets,
to run mad for Honour,
When you are all
gone I have my choice before me.
Sanchio:
Of which Hospital
thou wilt sweat in; wilt thou
Never leave whoring?
Alonzo:
There is less
danger in’t than gunning, Sanchio,
Though we be shot
sometimes, the shot’s not mortal,
Besides, it breaks
no limbs.
Sanchio:
But it disables
’em,
Dost thou see
how thou pull’st thy legs after thee, as they
Hung by points.
Alonzo:
Better to pull
’em thus than walk on wooden ones,
Serve bravely
for a Billet to support me.
Sanchio:
Fye, fye, ’tis base.
Alonzo:
Dost thou count
it base to suffer?
Suffer abundantly?
’tis the Crown of Honour;
You think it nothing
to lie twenty days
Under a Surgeons
hands that has no mercy.
Sanchio:
As thou hast done
I am sure, but I perceive now
Why you desire
to stay, the orient Heiress,
The Margarita,
Sir,
Alonzo:
I would I had her.
Sanchio:
They say she will marry.
175]
Alonzo:
I think she will.
Sanchio:
And marry suddenly,
as report goes too,
She fears her
Youth will not hold out, Alonzo.
Alonzo:
I would I had the sheathing on’t.
Sanchio:
They say too
She has a greedy
eye that must be fed
With more than
one mans meat.
Alonzo:
Would she were
mine,
I would cater
for her well enough; but Sanchio,
There be too many
great men that adore her,
Princes, and Princes
fellows, that claim priviledge.
Sanchio:
Yet those stand
off i’th’ way of marriage,
To be tyed to
a man’s pleasure is a second labour.
Alonzo:
She has bought a brave house here in town.
Sanchio:
I have heard so.
Alonzo:
If she convert
it now to pious uses,
And bid poor Gentlemen
welcome.
Sanchio:
When comes she to it?
Alonzo:
Within these two
days, she is in the Country yet,
And keeps the
noblest House.
Sanchio:
Then there’s
some hope of her,
Wilt thou go my
way?
Alonzo:
No, no, I must
leave you,
And repair to
an old Gentlewoman
That has credit
with her, that can speak a good word.
Sanchio:
Send thee good fortune, but make thy Body sound first.
Alonzo:
I am a Souldier,
And too sound
a Body becomes me not;
Farewel, Sanchio.
[Exeunt.
[Enter a Servant of Michael Perez.]
Servant:
’Tis this
or that house, or I have lost my aim,
They are both
fair buildings, she walked plaguy fast,
[Enter Estifania.]
And hereabouts
I lost her; stay, that’s she,
’Tis very
she,—she makes me a low court’sie,
Let me note the
place, the street I well remember.
[Exit.
She is in again,
certain some noble Lady.
How happy should
I be if she love my master:
176] A wondrous goodly house, here are brave lodgings,
And I shall sleep
now like an Emperour,
And eat abundantly:
I thank my fortune,
I’ll back
with speed, and bring him happy tidings.
[Exit.
[Enter three old Ladies.]
1 Lady:
What should it
mean, that in such haste
We are sent for?
2 Lady:
Belike the Lady
Margaret has some business
She would break
to us in private.
3 Lady:
It should seem
so.
’Tis a good
Lady, and a wise young Lady.
2 Lady:
And vertuous enough
too I warrant ye
For a young Woman
of her years; ’tis pity
To load her tender
Age with too much Vertue.
3 Lady:
’Tis more sometimes than we can well away with.
[Enter Altea.]
Altea:
Good morrow, Ladies.
All:
’Morrow, my good Madam.
1 Lady:
How does the sweet young Beauty, Lady Margaret?
2 Lady:
Has she slept well after her walk last night?
1 Lady:
Are her dreams gentle to her mind?
Altea:
All’s well,
She’s very
well, she sent for you thus suddenly
To give her counsel
in a business
That much concerns
her.
2 Lady:
She does well
and wisely,
To ask the counsel
of the ancientst, Madam,
Our years have
run through many things she knows not.
Altea:
She would fain marry.
1 Lady:
’Tis a proper
calling,
And well beseems
her years, who would she yoke with?
Altea:
That’s left
to argue on, I pray come in
And break your
fast, drink a good cup or two,
To strengthen
your understandings, then she’l tell ye.
2 Lady:
And good wine
breeds good counsel.
We’l yield
to ye.
[Exeunt.
177]
[Enter Juan
de Castro, and Leon.]
Juan de Castro:
Have you seen any service?
Leon:
Yes.
Juan de Castro:
Where?
Leon:
Every where.
Juan de Castro:
What office bore ye?
Leon:
None, I was not worthy.
Juan de Castro:
What Captains know you?
Leon:
None, they were above me.
Juan de Castro:
Were you never hurt?
Leon:
Not that I well
remember,
But once I stole
a Hen, and then they beat me;
Pray ask me no
long questions, I have an ill memory.
Juan de Castro:
This is an Asse, did you never draw your sword yet?
Leon:
Not to do any harm I thank Heaven for’t.
Juan de Castro:
Nor ne’r ta’ne prisoner?
Leon:
No, I ran away,
For I had ne’r
no mony to redeem me.
Juan de Castro:
Can you endure a Drum?
Leon:
It makes my head ake.
Juan de Castro:
Are you not valiant when you are drunk?
Leon:
I think not, but I am loving Sir.
Juan de Castro:
What a lump is
this man,
Was your Father
wise?
Leon:
Too wise for me
I’m sure,
For he gave all
he had to my younger Brother.
Juan de Castro:
That was no foolish
part I’le bear you witness.
Canst thou lye
with a woman?
Leon:
I think I could
make shift Sir,
But I am bashfull.
Juan de Castro:
In the night?
Leon:
I know not,
Darkness indeed
may do some good upon me.
Juan de Castro:
Why art thou sent
to me to be my officer,
I, and commended
too, when thou darst not fight?
Leon:
There be more
officers of my opinion,
Or I am cozen’d
Sir, men that talk more too.
Juan de Castro:
How wilt thou scape a bullet?
Leon:
Why by chance,
178] They aim at honourable men, alas I am none Sir.
Juan de Castro:
This fellow has some doubts in’s talk that strike me,
[Enter Alonzo.]
He cannot be all fool: welcom Alonzo.
Alonzo:
What have you
got there, temperance into your company?
The spirit of
peace? we shall have wars
[Enter Cacafogo.]
By th’ounce
then. O here’s another pumpion,
Let him loose
for luck sake, the cram’d son
Of a stay’d
Usurer, Cacafogo, both their brains butter’d,
Cannot make two
spoonfulls.
Cacafogo:
My Father’s
dead: I am a man of war too,
Monyes, demesns;
I have ships at sea too,
Captains.
Juan de Castro:
Take heed o’th’ Hollanders, your ships may leak else.
Cacafogo:
I scorn the Hollanders, they are my drunkards.
Alonzo:
Put up your gold Sir, I’le borrow it else.
Cacafogo:
I am satisfied,
you shall not,
Come out, I know
thee, meet mine anger instantly.
Leon:
I never wrong’d ye.
Cacafogo:
Thou hast wrong’d
mine honor,
Thou look’dst
upon my Mistris thrice lasciviously,
I’le make
it good.
Juan de Castro:
Do not hea[t] your self, you will surfeit.
Cacafogo:
Thou wan’st my mony too, with a pair of base bones,
In whom there was no truth, for which I beat thee,
I beat thee much, now I will hurt thee dangerously.
This shall provoke thee.
[He strikes.
Alonzo:
You struck too low by a foot Sir.
Juan de Castro:
You must get a ladder when you
would beat
This fellow.
Leon:
I cannot chuse but kick again, pray pardon me.
Cacafogo:
Had’st thou not ask’d
my pardon, I had kill’d thee,
I leave thee as a thing despis’d, assoles
manus a vostra siniare
a Maistre.
[Exit Cacafogo.
Alonzo:
You have scap’d by miracle,
there is not in all Spain,
A spirit of more fury than this fire drake.
Leon:
I see he is hasty, and I would give him leave
179] To beat me soundly if he would take my bond.
Juan de Castro:
What shall I do with this fellow?
Alonzo:
Turn him off,
He will infect
the camp with cowardise,
If he goe with
thee.
Juan de Castro:
About some week
hence Sir,
If I can hit upon
no abler officer,
You shall hear
from me.
Leon:
I desire no better.
[Exit.
[Enter Estifania, and Perez.]
Michael Perez:
You have made
me now too bountifull amends, Lady
For your strict
carriage when you saw me first,
These beauties
were not meant to be conceal’d,
It was a wrong
to hide so sweet an object,
I cou’d
now chide ye, but it shall be thus,
No other anger
ever touch your sweetness.
Estifania:
You appear to
me so honest, and so civil,
Without a blush
Sir, I dare bid ye welcom.
Michael Perez:
Now let me ask your name.
Estifania:
’Tis Estifanie, the heir of this poor place.
Michael Perez:
Poor do you call
it?
There’s
nothing that I cast mine eyes upon,
But shews both
rich and admirable, all the rooms
Are hung as if
a Princess were to dwell here,
The Gardens, Orchards,
every thing so curious:
Is all that plate
your own too?
Estifania:
’Tis but
little,
Only for present
use, I have more and richer,
When need shall
call, or friends compel me use it,
The sutes you
see of all the upper chamber,
Are those that
commonly adorn the house,
I think I have
besides, as fair, as civil,
As any town in
Spain can parallel.
Michael Perez:
Now if she be
not married, I have some hopes.
Are you a maid?
Estifania:
You make me blush
to answer,
I ever was accounted
so to this hour,
And that’s
the reason that I live retir’d Sir.
Michael Perez:
Then would I counsel
you to marry presently,
180] (If I can get her, I am made for ever)
For every year
you lose, you lose a beauty,
A Husband now,
an honest careful Husband,
Were such a comfort:
will ye walk above stairs?
Estifania:
This place will
fit our talk, ’tis fitter far Sir,
Above there are
day-beds, and such temptations
I dare not trust
Sir.
Michael Perez:
She is excellent wise withal too.
Estifania:
You nam’d
a husband, I am not so strict Sir,
Nor ti’d
unto a Virgins solitariness,
But if an honest,
and a noble one,
Rich, and a souldier,
for so I have vowed he shall be,
Were offer’d
me, I think I should accept him,
But above all
he must love.
Michael Perez:
He were base else,
There’s
comfort ministred in the word souldier,
How sweetly should
I live!
Estifania:
I am not so ignorant,
but that I know well,
How to be commanded,
And how again
to make my self obey’d Sir,
I waste but little,
I have gather’d much,
My rial not the
less worth, when ’tis spent,
If spent by my
direction, to please my Husband,
I hold it as indifferent
in my duty,
To be his maid
i’th’ kitchen, or his Cook,
As in the Hall
to know my self the Mistris.
Michael Perez:
Sweet, rich, and
provident, now fortune stick
To me; I am a
Souldier, and a bachelour, Lady,
And such a wife
as you, I cou’d love infinitely,
They that use
many words, some are deceitfull,
I long to be a
Husband, and a good one,
For ’tis
most certain I shall make a president
For all that follow
me to love their Ladies,
I am young you
see, able I would have you think too,
If’t please
you know, try me before you take me.
’Tis true
I shall not meet in equal wealth
With ye, but Jewels,
Chains, such as the war
Has given me,
a thousand Duckets I dare
Presume on in
ready gold, now as your
Care may handle
it, as rich cloths too, as
181] Any he bears arms Lady.
Estifania:
You are a true
gentleman, and fair, I see by ye,
And such a man
I had rather take.
Michael Perez:
Pray do so, I’le have a Priest o’th’ sudden.
Estifania:
And as suddenly you will repent too.
Michael Perez:
I’le be
hang’d or drown’d first,
By this and this,
and this kiss.
Estifania:
You are a Flatterer,
But I must say
there was something when I saw you
First, in that
most noble face, that stirr’d my fancy.
Michael Perez:
I’le stir
it better e’re you sleep sweet Lady,
I’le send
for all my trunks and give up all to ye,
Into your own
dispose, before I bed ye,
And then sweet
wench.
Estifania:
You have the art
to cozen me.
[Exeunt.
Scena Prima
[Enter Margarita, and two Ladies, and Altea.]
Margarita:
Sit down and give me your opinions seriously.
1 Lady:
You say you have a mind to marry Lady.
Margarita:
’Tis true,
I have for to preserve my credit,
Yet not so much
for that as for my state Ladies,
Conceive me right,
there lies the main o’th’ question,
Credit I can redeem,
mony will imp it,
But when my monie’s
gone, when the law shall
Seize that, and
for incontinency strip me
Of all.
1 Lady:
Do you find your body so malitious that way?
Margarita:
I find it as all
bodies are that are young and lusty,
Lazy, and high
fed, I desire my pleasure,
And pleasure I
must have.
2 Lady:
’Tis fit
you should have,
Your years require
it, and ’tis necessary,
As necessary as
meat to a young Lady,
Sleep cannot nourish
more.
1 Lady:
But might not
all this be, and keep ye single.
You take away
variety in marriage,
The abundance
of the pleasure you are bar’d then,
182] Is’t not abundance that you aim at?
Margarita:
Yes why was I made a woman?
2 Lady:
And every day a new?
Margarita:
Why fair and young but to use it?
1 Lady:
You are still i’th’ right, why would you marry then?
Altea:
Because a husband
stops all doubts in this point,
And clears all
passages.
2 Lady:
What Husband mean ye?
Altea:
A Husband of an
easy faith, a fool,
Made by her wealth,
and moulded to her pleasure,
One though he
see himself become a monster,
Shall hold the
door, and entertain the maker.
2 Lady:
You grant there may be such a man.
1 Lady:
Yes marry, but how to bring ’em to this rare Perfection.
2 Lady:
They must be chosen
so, things of no honour,
Nor outward honesty.
Margarita:
No ’tis
no matter,
I care not what
they are, so they be lusty.
2 Lady:
Me thinks now
a rich Lawyer, some such fellow,
That carries credit,
and a face of awe,
But lies with
nothing but his clients business.
Margarita:
No there’s
no trusting them, they are too subtil,
The Law has moulded
’em of natural mischief.
1 Lady:
Then some grave
governor,
Some man of honour,
yet an easy man.
Margarita:
If he have honour
I am undone, I’le none such,
I’le have
a lusty man, honour will cloy me..br
Altea:
’Tis fit
ye should Lady;
And to that end,
with search and wit and labour,
I have found one
out, a right one and a perfect,
He is made as
strong as brass, is of brave years too,
And doughty of
complexion.
Margarita:
Is he a Gentleman?
Altea:
Yes and a souldier,
as gentle as you would wish him,
A good fellow,
wears good cloaths.
Margarita:
Those I’le
allow him,
They are for my
credit, does he understand
But little?
Altea:
Very little.
183]
Margarita:
’Tis the
better,
Have not the wars
bred him up to anger?
Alonzo:
No, he will not
quarrel with a dog that bites hi[m],
Let him be drunk
or sober, is one silence.
Margarita:
H’as no
capacity what honor is?
For that’s
the Souldiers god.
Altea:
Honour’s
a thing too subtil for his wisdom,
If honour lye
in eating, he is right honourable.
Margarita:
Is he so goodly a man do you say?
Altea:
As you shall see
Lady,
But to all this
is but a trunk.
Margarita:
I would have him
so,
I shall adde branches
to him to adorn him,
Goe, find me out
this man, and let me see him,
If he be that
motion that you tell me of,
And make no more
noise, I shall entertain him,
Let him be here.
Altea:
He shall attend
your Ladiship.
[Exeunt.
[Enter Juan, Alonzo, and Perez.]
Juan de Castro:
Why thou art not married indeed?
Michael Perez:
No, no, pray think
so,
Alas I am a fellow
of no reckoning,
Not worth a Ladies
eye.
Alonzo:
Wou’dst
thou steal a fortune,
And make none
of all thy friends acquainted with it,
Nor bid us to
thy wedding?
Michael Perez:
No indeed,
There was no wisdom
in’t, to bid an Artist,
An old seducer
to a femal banquet,
I can cut up my
pye without your instructions.
Juan de Castro:
Was it the wench i’th’ veil?
Michael Perez:
Basto ’twas
she,
The prettiest
Rogue that e’re you look’d upon,
The lovingst thief.
Juan de Castro:
And is she rich withal too?
Michael Perez:
A mine, a mine,
there is no end of wealth Coronel,
I am an asse,
a bashfull fool, prethee Coronel,
How do thy compa[ni]es
fill now?
Juan de Castro:
You are merry Sir,
184] You intend a safer war at home belike now.
Michael Perez:
I do not think
I shall fight much this year Coronel,
I find my self
given to my ease a little,
I care not if
I sell my foolish company,
They are things
of hazard.
Alonzo:
How it angers
me,
This fellow at
first fight should win a Lady,
A rich young wench,
and I that have consum’d
My time and art
in searching out their subtleties,
Like a fool’d
Alchymist blow up my hopes still?
When shall we
come to thy house and be freely merry?
Michael Perez:
When I have manag’d
her a little more,
I have an house
to entertain an army.
Alonzo:
If thy wife be
fair, thou wilt have few less
Come to thee.
Michael Perez:
But where they’l
get entertainment is the point Signior.
I beat no Drum.
Alonzo:
You need none
but her taber,
May be I’le
march after a month or two,
To get me a fresh
stomach. I find Coronel
A wantonness in
wealth, methinks I agree not with,
’Tis such
a trouble to be married too,
And have a thousand
things of great importance,
Jewels and plates,
and fooleries molest me,
To have a mans
brains whimsied with his wealth:
Before I walk’d
contentedly.
[Enter Servant.]
Servant:
My Mistris Sir
is sick, because you are absent,
She mourns and
will not eat.
Michael Perez:
Alas my Jewel,
Come I’le
goe with thee, Gentlemen your fair leaves,
You see I am ti’d
a little to my yoke,
Pray pardon me,
would ye had both such loving wives.
Juan de Castro:
I thank ye
[Exit
Perez, Servant.
For your old boots,
never be blank Alonzo,
Because this fellow
has outstript thy fortune,
Tell me ten daies
hence what he is, and how
The gracious state
of matrimony stands with him,
Come, let’s
to dinner, when Margarita comes
185] We’l visit both, it may be then your fortune.
[Exeunt.
[Enter Margarita, Altea, and Ladies.]
Margarita:
Is he come?
Altea:
Yes Madam, h’as
been here this half hour,
I have question’d
him of all that you can ask him,
And find him as
fit as you had made the man,
He will make the
goodliest shadow for iniquity.
Margarita:
Have ye searcht him Ladies?
Omnes:
Is a man at all points, a likely man.
Margarita:
Call him in Altea.
[Exit
Lady.
[Enter Leon, Altea.]
A man of a good
presence, pray ye come this way,
Of a lusty body,
is his mind so tame?
Altea:
Pray ye question
him, and if you find him not
Fit for your purpose,
shake him off, there’s no harm
Done.
Margarita:
Can you love a young Lady? How he blushes!
Altea:
Leave twirling
of your hat, and hold your head up,
And speak to’th’
Lady.
Leon:
Yes, I think I
can,
I must be taught,
I know not what it means Madam.
Margarita:
You shall be taught,
and can you when she pleases
Go ride abroad,
and stay a week or two?
You shall have
men and horses to attend ye,
And mony in your
purse.
Leon:
Yes I love riding,
And when I am
from home I am so merry.
Margarita:
Be as merry as
you will: can you as handsomely
When you are sent
for back, come with obedience,
And doe your dutie
to the Lady loves you?
Leon:
Yes sure, I shall.
Margarita:
And when you see
her friends here,
Or noble kinsmen,
can you entertain
Their servants
in the Celler, and be busied,
And hold your
peace, what e’re you see or hear of?
Leon:
’Twere fit I were hang’d else.
Margarita:
Let me try your
kisses,
How the fool shakes,
I will not eat ye Sir,
186] Beshrew my heart he kisses wondrous manly,
Can ye doe any
thing else?
Leon:
Indeed I know
not;
But if your Ladiship
will please to instruct me,
Sure I shall learn.
Margarita:
You shall then
be instructed:
If I should be
this Lady that affects ye,
Nay say I marry
ye?
Altea:
Hark to the Lady.
Margarita:
What mony have ye?
Leon:
None Madam, nor
friends,
I wou’d
doe any thing to serve your Ladiship.
Margarita:
You must not look
to be my Mr Sir,
Nor talk i’th’
house as though you wore the breeches,
No, nor command
in any thing.
Leon:
I will not,
Alas I am not
able, I have no wit Madam.
Margarita:
Nor do not labour
to arrive at any,
’Twill spoil
your head, I take ye upon charity,
And like a Servant
ye must be unto me,
As I behold your
duty I shall love ye,
And as you observe
me, I may chance lye with ye,
Can you mark these?
Leon:
Yes indeed forsooth.
Margarita:
There is one thing,
That if I take
ye in I put ye from me,
Utterly from me,
you must not be sawcy,
No, nor at any
time familiar with me,
Scarce know me,
when I call ye not.
Leon:
I will not, alas I never knew my self sufficiently.
Margarita:
Nor must not now.
Leon:
I’le be a Dog to please ye.
Margarita:
Indeed you must fetch and carry as I appoint ye.
Leon:
I were to blame else.
Margarita:
Kiss me again;
a strong fellow,
There is a vigor
in his lips: if you see me
Kiss any other,
twenty in an hour Sir,
You must not start,
nor be offended.
Leon:
No, if you kiss
a thousand I shall be contented,
It will the better
teach me how to please ye.
187]
Altea:
I told ye Madam.
Margarita:
’Tis the man I wisht for; the less you speak.
Leon:
I’le never
speak again Madam,
But when you charge
me, then I’le speak softly too.
Margarita:
Get me a Priest,
I’le wed him instantly,
But when you are
married Sir, you must wait
Upon me, and see
you observe my laws.
Leon:
Else you shall hang me.
Margarita:
I’le give
ye better clothes when you deserve ’em,
Come in, and serve
for witness.
Omnes:
We shall Madam.
Margarita:
And then away
toth’ city presently,
I’le to
my new house and new company.
Leon:
A thousand crowns are thine, and I am a made man.
Altea:
Do not break out too soon.
Leon:
I know my time
wench.
[Exeunt.
[Enter Clara, and Estifania with a paper.]
Clara:
What, have you caught him?
Estifania:
Yes.
Clara:
And do you find
him
A man of those
hopes that you aim’d at?
Estifania:
Yes too,
And the most kind
man, and the ablest also
To give a wife
content, he is sound as old wine,
And to his soundness
rises on the pallat,
And there’s
the man; find him rich too Clara.
Clara:
Hast thou married him?
Estifania:
What dost thou
think I fish without a bait wench?
I bob for fools?
he is mine own, I have him,
I told thee what
would tickle him like a trout,
And as I cast
it so I caught him daintily,
And all he has
I have ’stowed at my devotion.
Clara:
Does thy Lady
know this? she is coming now to town,
Now to live here
in this house.
Estifania:
Let her come,
She shall be welcom,
I am prepar’d for her,
She is mad sure
if she be angry at my fortune,
For what I have
made bold.
Clara:
Dost thou not love him?
188]
Estifania:
Yes, intirely
well,
As long as there
he staies and looks no farther
Into my ends,
but when he doubts, I hate him,
And that wise
hate will teach me how to cozen him:
How to decline
their wives, and curb their manners,
To put a stern
and strong reyn to their natures,
And holds he is
an Asse not worth acquaintance,
That cannot mould
a Devil to obedience,
I owe him a good
turn for these opinions,
And as I find
his temper I may pay him,
[Enter Perez.]
O here he is, now you shall see a kind man.
Michael Perez:
My Estifania,
shall we to dinner lamb?
I know thou stay’st
for me.
Estifania:
I cannot eat else.
Michael Perez:
I never enter
but me thinks a Paradise
Appears about
me.
Estifania:
You are welcom to it Sir.
Michael Perez:
I think I have
the sweetest seat in Spain wench,
Me thinks the
richest too, we’l eat i’th’ garden
In one o’th’
arbours, there ’tis cool and pleasant,
And have our wine
cold in the running fountain.
Who’s that?
Estifania:
A friend of mine Sir.
Michael Perez:
Of what breeding?
Estifania:
A Gentlewoman Sir.
Michael Perez:
What business
has she?
Is she a learned
woman i’th’ Mathematicks,
Can she tell fortunes?
Estifania:
More than I know Sir.
Michael Perez:
Or has she e’re
a letter from a kinswoman,
That must be delivered
in my absence wife,
Or comes she from
the Doctor to salute ye,
And learn your
health? she looks not like a confessor.
Estifania:
What need all
this, why are you troubled Sir?
What do you suspect,
she cannot cuckold ye,
She is a woman
Sir, a very woman.
Michael Perez:
Your very woman
may do very well Sir
Toward the matter,
for though she cannot perform it
189] In her own person, she may do it by Proxie,
Your rarest jugglers
work still by conspiracy.
Estifania:
Cry ye mercy husband,
you are jealous then,
And happily suspect
me.
Michael Perez:
No indeed wife.
Estifania:
Me thinks you
should not till you have more cause
And clearer too:
I am sure you have heard say husband,
A woman forced
will free her self through Iron,
A happy, calm,
and good wife discontented
May be taught
tricks.
Michael Perez:
No, no, I do but jest with ye.
Estifania:
To morrow friend I’le see you.
Clara:
I shall leave ye
Till then, and pray all may goe sweetly with
ye.
[Exit.
Estifania:
Why where’s this girle,
whose at the door?
[Knock.
Michael Perez:
Who knocks there?
Is’t for the King ye come, you knock so
boisterously?
Look to the door.
[Enter Maid.]
Maid:
My Lady, as I
live Mistris, my Ladie’s come,
She’s at
the door, I peept through, and I saw her,
And a stately
company of Ladies with her.
Estifania:
This was a week
too soon, but I must meet with her,
And set a new
wheel going, and a subtile one,
Must blind this
mighty Mars, or I am ruin’d.
Michael Perez:
What are they at door?
Estifania:
Such my Michael
As you may bless
the day they enter’d there,
Such for our good.
Michael Perez:
’Tis well.
Estifania:
Nay, ’twill
be better
If you will let
me but dispose the business,
And be a stranger
to it, and not disturb me,
What have I now
to do but to advance your fortune?
Michael Perez:
Doe, I dare trust
thee, I am asham’d I am angry,
I find thee a
wise young wife.
Estifania:
I’le wise
your worship
Before I leave
ye, pray ye walk by and say nothing,
Only salute them,
and leave the rest to me Sir,
190] I was born to make ye a man.
[]
Michael Perez:
The Rogue speaks
heartily,
Her good will
colours in her cheeks, I am born to love her,
I must be gentler
to these tender natures,
A Souldiers rude
harsh words befit not Ladies,
Nor must we talk
to them as we talk to
Our Officers,
I’le give her way, for ’tis for me she
Works now, I am
husband, heir, and all she has.
[Enter Margarita, Estifania, Leon, Altea, and Ladies.]
Who are these,
what flanting things, a woman
Of rare presence!
excellent fair, this is too big
For a bawdy house,
too open seated too.
Estifania:
My Husband, Lady.
Margarita:
You have gain’d a proper man.
Michael Perez:
What e’re
I am, I am your servant Lady.
[kisses.
Estifania:
Sir, be rul’d
now,
And I shall make
ye rich, this is my cousin,
That Gentleman
dotes on her, even to death, see how he observes her.
Michael Perez:
She is a goodly woman.
Estifania:
She is a mirrour,
But she is poor,
she were for a Princes side else,
This house she
has brought him too as to her own,
And presuming
upon me, and upon my courtesie.
Conceive me short,
he knows not but she is wealthy,
Or if he did know
otherwise, ’twere all one,
He is so far gone.
Michael Perez:
Forward, she has a rare face.
Estifania:
This we must carry
with discretion Husband,
And yield unto
her for four daies.
Michael Perez:
Yield our house up, our goods and wealth?
Estifania:
All this is but in seeming, To milk the lover on, do you see this writing, 200_l_ a year when they are married Has she sealed to for our good; the time’s unfit now, I’le shew it you to morrow.
Michael Perez:
All the house?
Estifania:
All, all, and
we’l remove too, to confirm him,
They’l into
th’ country suddenly again
After they are
matcht, and then she’l open to him.
191]
Michael Perez:
The whole possession
wife? look what you doe,
A part o’th’
house.
Estifania:
No, no, they shall
have all,
And take their
pleasure too, ’tis for our ’vantage.
Why, what’s
four daies? had you a Sister Sir,
A Niece or Mistris
that required this courtesie,
And should I make
a scruple to do you good?
Michael Perez:
If easily it would come back.
Estifania:
I swear Sir,
As easily as it
came on, is’t not pity
To let such a
Gentlewoman for a little help—
You give away
no house.
Michael Perez:
Clear but that question.
Estifania:
I’le put the writings into your hand.
Michael Perez:
Well then.
Estifania:
And you shall keep them safe.
Michael Perez:
I am satisfied; wou’d I had the wench so too.
Estifania:
When she has married
him,
So infinite his
love is linkt unto her,
You, I, or any
one that helps at this pinch
May have Heaven
knows what.
Michael Perez:
I’le remove
the goods straight,
And take some
poor house by, ’tis but for four days.
Estifania:
I have a poor old friend; there we’l be.
Michael Perez:
’Tis well then.
Estifania:
Goe handsom off, and leave the house clear.
Michael Perez:
Well.
Estifania:
That little stuff
we’l use shall follow after;
And a boy to guide
ye, peace and we are made both.
Margarita:
Come, let’s goe in, are all the rooms kept sweet wench?
Estifania:
They are sweet
and neat.
[Exit
Perez.
Margarita:
Why where’s your Husband?
Estifania:
Gone Madam.
When you come
to your own he must give place Lady.
Margarita:
Well, send you
joy, you would not let me know’t,
Yet I shall not
forget ye.
Estifania:
Thank your Ladyship.
[Exeunt.
192] Actus Tertius
Scena Prima.
[Enter Margarita, Altea, and Boy.]
Altea:
Are you at ease
now, is your heart at rest,
Now you have got
a shadow, an umbrella
To keep the scorching
worlds opinion
From your fair
credit.
Margarita:
I am at peace
Altea,
If he continue
but the same he shews,
And be a master
of that ignorance
He outwardly professes,
I am happy,
The pleasure I
shall live in and the freedom
Without the squint-eye
of the law upon me,
Or prating liberty
of tongues, that envy.
Altea:
You are a made woman.
Margarita:
But if he should
prove now
A crafty and dissembling
kind of Husband,
One read in knavery,
and brought up in the art
Of villany conceal’d.
Altea:
My life, an innocent.
Margarita:
That’s it
I aim at,
That’s it
I hope too, then I am sure I rule him,
For innocents
are like obedient Children
Brought up under
a hard Mother-in-law, a cruel,
Who being not
us’d to break-fasts and collations,
When they have
course bread offer’d ’em, are thankfull,
And take it for
a favour too. Are the rooms
Made ready to
entertain my friends? I long to dance now
And to be wanton;
let me have a song, is the great couch up
The Duke of Medina
sent?
Altea:
’Tis up and ready.
Margarita:
And day-beds in all chambers?
Altea:
In all Lady,
Your house is
nothing now but various pleasures,
The Gallants begin
to gaze too.
Margarita:
Let ’em
gaze on,
I was brought
up a Courtier, high and happy,
And company is
my delight, and courtship,
193] And handsom servants at my will: where’s
my good husband,
Where does he
wait?
Altea:
He knows his distance
Madam,
I warrant ye he
is busie in the celler
Amongst his fellow
servants, or asleep,
Till your command
awake him.
[Enter Leon.]
Margarita:
’Tis well
Altea.
It should be so,
my ward I must preserve him.
Who sent for him,
how dare he come uncall’d for,
His bonnet on
too?
Altea:
Sure he sees you not.
Margarita:
How scornfully he looks!
Leon:
Are all the chambers
Deckt and adorn’d
thus for my Ladies pleasure?
New hangings every
hour for entertainment,
And new plate
bought, new Jewels to give lustre?
Servant:
They are, and
yet there must be more and richer,
It is her will.
Leon:
Hum, is it so?
’tis excellent,
It is her will
too, to have feasts and banquets,
Revells and masques.
Servant:
She ever lov’d
’em dearly,
And we shall have
the bravest house kept now Sir,
I must not call
ye master she has warn’d me,
Nor must not put
my hat off to ye.
Leon:
’Tis no
fashion,
What though I
be her husband, I am your fellow,
I may cut first.
Servant:
That’s as you shall deserve Sir.
Leon:
And when I lye with her.
Servant:
May be I’le
light ye,
On the same point
you may doe me that service.
[Enter 1 Lady.]
1 Lady:
Madam, the Duke
Medina with some Captains
Will come to dinner,
and have sent rare wine,
And their best
services.
Margarita:
They shall be
welcom,
194] See all be ready in the noblest fashion,
The house perfum’d,
now I shall take my pleasure,
And not my neighbour
Justice maunder at me.
Go, get your best
cloths on, but till I call ye,
Be sure you be
not seen, dine with the Gentlewomen,
And behave your
self cleanly Sir, ’tis for my credit.
[Enter 2 Lady.]
2 Lady:
Madam, the Lady Julia.
Leon:
That’s a
bawd,
A three pil’d
bawd, bawd major to the army.
2 Lady:
Has brought her
coach to wait upon your Ladiship,
And to be inform’d
if you will take the air this morning.
Leon:
The neat air of her nunnery.
Margarita:
Tell her no, i’th’ afternoon I’le call on her.
2 Lady:
I will Madam.
[Exit.
Margarita:
Why are not you
gone to prepare your self,
May be you shall
be sewer to the fire course,
A portly presence,
Altea he looks lean,
’Tis a wash
knave, he will not keep his flesh well.
Altea:
A willing, Madam, one that needs no spurring.
Leon:
Faith madam, in
my little understanding,
You had better
entertain your honest neighbours,
Your friends about
ye, that may speak well of ye,
And give a worthy
mention of your bounty.
Margarita:
How now, what’s this?
Leon:
’Tis only
to perswade ye,
Courtiers are
but tickle things to deal withal,
A kind of march-pane
men that will not last Madam,
An egge and pepper
goes farther than their potions,
And in a well
built body, a poor parsnip
Will play his
prize above their strong potabiles.
Margarita:
The fellow’s mad.
Leon:
He that shall
counsel Ladies,
That have both
liquorish and ambitious eyes,
Is either mad,
or drunk, let him speak Gospel.
Altea:
He breaks out modestly.
Leon:
Pray ye be not
angry,
My indiscretion
has made bold to tell ye,
What you’l
find true.
195]
Margarita:
Thou darest not talk.
Leon:
Not much Madam,
You have a tye
upon your servants tongue,
He dares not be
so bold as reason bids him,
’Twere fit
there were a stronger on your temper.
Ne’re look
so stern upon me, I am your Husband,
But what are Husbands?
read the new worlds wonders,
Such Husbands
as this monstrous world produces,
And you will scarce
find such deformities,
They are shadows
to conceal your venial vertues,
Sails to your
mills, that grind with all occasions,
Balls that lye
by you, to wash out your stains,
And bills nail’d
up with horn before your stories,
To rent out last.
Margarita:
Do you hear him talk?
Leon:
I have done Madam,
An oxe once spoke,
as learned men deliver,
Shortly I shall
be such, then I’le speak wonders,
Till when I tye
my self to my obedience.
[Exit.
Margarita:
First I’le
unty my self, did you mark the Gentleman,
How boldly and
how sawcily he talk’d,
And how unlike
the lump I took him for,
The piece of ignorant
dow, he stood up to me
And mated my commands,
this was your providence,
Your wisdom, to
elect this Gentleman,
Your excellent
forecast in the man, your knowledge,
What think ye
now?
Altea:
I think him an
Asse still,
This boldness
some of your people have blown
Into him, this
wisdom too with strong wine,
’Tis a Tyrant,
and a Philosopher also, and finds
Out reasons.
Margarita:
I’le have
my celler lockt, no school kept there,
Nor no discovery.
I’le turn my drunkards,
Such as are understanding
in their draughts,
And dispute learnedly
the whyes and wherefores,
To grass immediatly,
I’le keep all fools,
Sober or drunk,
still fools, that shall know nothing,
Nothing belongs
to mankind, but obedience,
And such a hand
I’le keep over this Husband.
196]
Altea:
He will fall again,
my life he cryes by this time,
Keep him from
drink, he has a high constitution.
[Enter Leon.]
Leon:
Shall I wear my new sute Madam?
Margarita:
No your old clothes,
And get you into
the country presently,
And see my hawks
well train’d, you shall have victuals,
Such as are fit
for sawcy palats Sir,
And lodgings with
the hindes, it is too good too.
Altea:
Good Madam be
not so rough, with repentance,
You see now he’s
come round again.
Margarita:
I see not what I expect to see.
Leon:
You shall see Madam, if it shall please your Ladyship.
Altea:
He’s humbled,
Forgive good Lady,
Margarita:
Well go get you
handsom,
And let me hear
no more.
Leon:
Have ye yet no
feeling?
I’le pinch
ye to the bones then my proud Lady.
[Exit.
Margarita:
See you preserve
him thus upon my favour,
You know his temper,
tye him to the grindstone,
The next rebellion
I’le be rid of him,
I’le have
no needy Rascals I tye to me,
Dispute my life:
come in and see all handsom.
Altea:
I hope to see
you so too, I have wrought ill else.
[Exeunt.
[Enter Perez.]
Michael Perez:
Shall I never
return to mine own house again?
We are lodg’d
here in the miserablest dog-hole,
A Conjurers circle
gives content above it,
A hawks mew is
a princely palace to it,
We have a bed
no bigger than a basket,
And there we lie
like butter clapt together,
And sweat our
selves to sawce immediately,
The fumes are
infinite inhabite here too;
And to that so
thick, they cut like marmalet,
So various too,
they’l pose a gold-finder,
Never return to
mine own paradise?
197] Why wife I say, why Estifania.
Estifania [within]:
I am going presently.
Michael Perez:
Make haste good
Jewel,
I am like the
people that live in the sweet Islands:
I dye, I dye,
if I stay but one day more here,
My lungs are rotten
with the damps that rise,
And I cough nothing
now but stinks of all sorts,
The inhabitants
we have are two starv’d rats,
For they are not
able to maintain a cat here,
And those appear
as fearfull as two Devils,
They have eat
a map of the whole world up already,
And if we stay
a night we are gone for company.
There’s
an old woman that’s now grown to marble,
Dri’d in
this brick hill, and she sits i’th’ chimnie,
Which is but three
tiles rais’d like a house of cards,
The true proportion
of an old smok’d Sibyl,
There is a young
thing too that nature meant
For a maid-servant,
but ’tis now a monster,
She has a husk
about her like a chesnut
With basiness,
and living under the line here,
And these two
make a hollow sound together,
Like frogs or
winds between two doors that murmur:
[Enter Estifania.]
Mercy deliver
me. O are you come wife,
Shall we be free
again?
Estifania:
I am now going,
And you shall
presently to your own house Sir,
The remembrance
of this small vexation
Will be argument
of mirth for ever:
By that time you
have said your orisons,
And broke your
fast, I shall be back and ready,
To usher you to
your old content, your freedom.
Michael Perez:
Break my neck
rather, is there any thing here to eat
But one another,
like a race of Cannibals?
A piece of butter’d
wall you think is excellent,
Let’s have
our house again immediatly,
And pray ye take
heed unto the furniture,
None be imbezil’d.
Estifania:
Not a pin I warrant ye.
198]
Michael Perez:
And let ’em instantly depart.
Estifania:
They shall both,
There’s
reason in all courtesies, they must both,
For by this time
I know she has acquainted him,
And has provided
too, she sent me word Sir,
And will give
over gratefully unto you.
Michael Perez:
I’le walk
i’th’ Church-yard,
The dead cannot
offend more than these living,
An hour hence
I’le expect ye.
Estifania:
I’le not fail Sir.
Michael Perez:
And do you hear,
let’s have a handsom dinner,
And see all things
be decent as they have been,
And let me have
a strong bath to restore me,
I stink like a
stal-fish shambles, or an oyl-shop.
Estifania:
You shall have
all, which some interpret nothing,
I’le send
ye people for the trunks afore-hand,
And for the stuff.
Michael Perez:
Let ’em
be known and honest,
And do my service
to your niece.
Estifania:
I shall Sir,
But if I come
not at my hour, come thither,
That they may
give you thanks for your fair courtesy,
And pray ye be
brave for my sake.
Michael Perez:
I observe ye.
[Exeunt.
[Enter Juan de Castro, Sancho, and Cacafogo.]
Sanchio:
Thou art very brave.
Cacafogo:
I have reason, I have mony.
Sanchio:
Is mony reason?
Cacafogo:
Yes and rime too
Captain,
If ye have no
mony y’are an Asse.
Sanchio:
I thank ye.
Cacafogo:
Ye have manners, ever thank him that has mony.
Sanchio:
Wilt thou lend me any?
Cacafogo:
Not a farthing
Captain,
Captains are casual
things.
Sanchio:
Why so are all men, thou shalt have my bond.
Cacafogo:
Nor bonds nor
fetters Captain,
My mony is mine,
I make no doubt on’t.
Juan de Castro:
What dost thou do with it?
199]
Cacafogo:
Put it to pious
uses,
Buy Wine and Wenches,
and undo young Coxcombs
That would undo
me.
Juan de Castro:
Are those Hospitals?
Cacafogo:
I first provide
to fill my Hospitals
With Creatures
of mine own, that I know wretched,
And then I build:
those are more bound to pray for me:
Besides, I keep
th’ inheritance in my Name still.
Juan de Castro:
A provident Charity; are you for the Wars, Sir?
Cacafogo:
I am not poor
enough to be a Souldier,
Nor have I faith
enough to ward a Bullet;
This is no lining
for a trench, I take it.
Juan de Castro:
Ye have said wisely.
Cacafogo:
Had you but my
money,
You would swear
it Colonel, I had rather drill at home
A hundred thousand
Crowns, and with more honour,
Than exercise
ten thousand Fools with nothing,
A wise Man safely
feeds, Fools cut their fingers.
Sanchio:
A right State
Usurer; why dost thou not marry,
And live a reverend
Justice?
Cacafogo:
Is’t not
nobler to command a reverend Justice, than to be one?
And for a Wife,
what need I marry, Captain,
When every courteous
Fool that owes me money,
Owes me his Wife
too, to appease my fury?
Juan de Castro:
Wilt thou go to dinner with us?
Cacafogo:
I will go, and
view the Pearl of Spain, the Orient
Fair One, the
rich One too, and I will be respected,
I bear my Patent
here, I will talk to her,
And when your
Captain’s Ships shall stand aloof,
And pick your
Noses, I will pick the purse
Of her affection.
Juan de Castro:
The Duke dines there to day too, the Duke of Medina.
Cacafogo:
Let the King dine
there,
He owes me money,
and so far’s my Creature,
And certainly
I may make bold with mine own, Captain?
Sanchio:
Thou wilt eat monstrously.
Cacafogo:
Like a true born
Spaniard,
Eat as I were
in England where the Beef grows,
And I will drink
abundantly, and then
Talk ye as wantonly
as Ovid did,
200] To stir the Intellectuals of the Ladies;
I learnt it of
my Father’s amorous Scrivener.
Juan de Castro:
If we should play now, you must supply me.
Cacafogo:
You must pawn
a Horse troop,
And then have
at ye Colonel.
Sanchio:
Come, let’s
go:
This Rascal will
make rare sport; how the Ladies
Will laugh at
him?
Juan de Castro:
If I light on him I’ll make his Purse sweat too.
Cacafogo:
Will ye lead,
Gentlemen?
[Exeunt.
[Enter Perez, an old Woman, and Maid.]
Michael Perez:
Nay, pray ye come
out, and let me understand ye,
And tune your
pipe a little higher, Lady;
I’ll hold
ye fast: rub, how came my Trunks open?
And my Goods gone,
what Pick-lock Spirit?
Old Woman:
Ha, what would ye have?
Michael Perez:
My Goods again, how came my Trunks all open?
Old Woman:
Are your Trunks open?
Michael Perez:
Yes, and Cloaths
gone,
And Chains, and
Jewels: how she smells like hung Beef,
The Palsey, and
Picklocks, fye, how she belches,
The Spirit of
Garlick.
Old Woman:
Where’s
your Gentlewoman?
The young fair
Woman?
Michael Perez:
What’s that
to my question?
She is my wife,
and gone about my business.
Maid:
Is she your Wife, Sir?
Michael Perez:
Yes Sir, is that
wonder?
Is the name of
Wife unknown here?
Old Woman:
Is she truly, truly your Wife?
Michael Perez:
I think so, for
I married her;
It was no Vision
sure!
Maid:
She has the Keys, Sir.
Michael Perez:
I know she has, but who has all my goods, Spirit?
Old Woman:
If you be married
to that Gentlewoman,
You are a wretched
man, she has twenty Husbands.
Maid:
She tells you true.
Old Woman:
And she has cozen’d all, Sir.
Michael Perez:
The Devil she has! I had a fair house with
her,
201] That stands hard by, and furnisht royally.
Old Woman:
You are cozen’d too, ’tis none of hers, good Gentleman.
Maid:
The Lady Margarita,
she was her Servant,
And kept the house,
but going from her, Sir,
For some lewd
tricks she plaid.
Michael Perez:
Plague o’
the Devil,
Am I i’th’
full Meridian of my Wisedom
Cheated by a stale
Quean! what kind of Lady
Is that that owes
the House?
Old Woman:
A young sweet Lady.
Michael Perez:
Of a low stature?
Old Woman:
She is indeed but little, but she is wondrous fair.
Michael Perez:
I feel I am cozen’d;
Now I am sensible
I am undone,
This is the very
Woman sure, that Cousin
She told me would
entreat but for four days,
To make the house
hers; I am entreated sweetly.
Maid:
When she went
out this morning, that I saw, Sir,
She had two Women
at the door attending,
And there she
gave ’em things, and loaded ’em,
But what they
were—I heard your Trunks to open,
If they be yours?
Michael Perez:
They were mine
while they were laden,
But now they have
cast their Calves, they are not worth
Owning: was
she her Mistress say you?
Old Woman:
Her own Mistress,
her very Mistress, Sir, and all you saw
About and in that
house was hers.
Michael Perez:
No Plate, no Jewels, nor no Hangings?
Maid:
Not a farthing, she is poor, Sir, a poor shifting thing.
Michael Perez:
No money?
Old Woman:
Abominable poor,
as poor as we are,
Money as rare
to her unless she steal it,
But for one civil
Gown her Lady gave her,
She may go bare,
good Gentlewoman.
Michael Perez:
I am mad now,
I think I am as
poor as she, I am wide else,
One civil Sute
I have left too, and that’s all,
And if she steal
that she must fley me for it;
Where does she
use?
Old Woman:
You may find truth
as soon,
202] Alas, a thousand conceal’d corners, Sir,
she lurks in.
And here she gets
a fleece, and there another,
And lives in mists
and smoaks where none can find her.
Michael Perez:
Is she a Whore too?
Old Woman:
Little better,
Gentleman, I dare not say she is so Sir, because
She is yours,
Sir, these five years she has firkt
A pretty Living,
Until she came
to serve; I fear he will knock my
Brains out for
lying.
Michael Perez:
She has serv’d
me faithfully,
A Whore and Thief?
two excellent moral learnings
In one she-Saint,
I hope to see her legend.
Have I been fear’d
for my discoveries,
And courted by
all Women to conceal ’em?
Have I so long
studied the art of this Sex,
And read the warnings
to young Gentlemen?
Have I profest
to tame the Pride of Ladies,
And make ’em
bear all tests, and am I trickt now?
Caught in mine
own nooze? here’s a royal left yet,
There’s
for your lodging and your meat for this Week.
A silk Worm lives
at a more plentiful ordinary,
And sleeps in
a sweeter Box: farewel great Grandmother,
If I do find you
were an accessary,
’Tis but
the cutting off too smoaky minutes,
I’ll hang
ye presently.
Old Woman:
And I deserve it, I tell but truth.
Michael Perez:
Not I, I am an
Ass, Mother.
[Exeunt.
[Enter the Duke of Medina, Juan de Castro, Alonzo, Sanchio, Cacafogo. Attendants.]
Duke of Medina:
A goodly house.
Juan de Castro:
And richly furnisht too, Sir.
Alonzo:
Hung wantonly,
I like that preparation,
It stirs the blood
unto a hopeful Banquet,
And intimates
the Mistress free and jovial,
I love a house
where pleasure prepares welcome.
Duke of Medina:
Now Cacafogo,
how like you this mansion?
’Twere a
brave Pawn.
Cacafogo:
I shall be master
of it,
’Twas built
for my bulk, the rooms are wide and spacious,
203] Airy and full of ease, and that I love well,
I’ll tell
you when I taste the Wine, my Lord,
And take the height
of her Table with my Stomach,
How my affections
stand to the young Lady.
[Enter Margarita, Altea, Ladies, and Servants.]
Margarita:
All welcome to
your Grace, and to these Souldiers,
You honour my
poor house with your fair presence,
Those few slight
pleasures that inhabit here, Sir,
I do beseech your
Grace command, they are yours,
Your servant but
preserves ’em to delight ye.
Duke of Medina:
I thank ye Lady,
I am bold to visit ye,
Once more to bless
mine eyes with your sweet Beauty,
’T has been
a long night since you left the Court,
For till I saw
you now, no day broke to me.
Margarita:
Bring in the Dukes meat.
Sanchio:
She is most excellent.
Juan de Castro:
Most admirable
fair as e’r I look’d upon,
I had rather command
her than my Regiment.
Cacafogo:
I’ll have
a fling, ’tis but a thousand Duckets,
Which I can cozen
up again in ten days,
And some few Jewels
to justifie my Knavery,
Say, I should
marry her, she’ll get more money
Than all my Usury,
put my Knavery to it,
She appears the
most infallible way of Purchase,
I you’d
wish her a size or two stronger for the encounter,
For I am like
a Lion where I lay hold,
But these Lambs
will endure a plaguy load,
And never bleat
neither, that Sir, time has taught us,
I am so vertuous
now, I cannot speak to her,
The arrant’st
shamefac’d Ass, I broil away too.
[Enter Leon.]
Margarita:
Why, where’s this dinner?
Leon:
’Tis not
ready, Madam,
Nor shall not
be until I know the Guests too,
Nor are they fairly
welcome till I bid ’em.
Juan de Castro:
Is not this my
Alferes? he looks another thing;
Are miracles afoot
again?
Margarita:
Why, Sirrah, why Sirrah, you?
204]
Leon:
I hear you, saucy
Woman,
And as you are
my Wife, command your absence,
And know your
duty, ’tis the Crown of modesty.
Duke of Medina:
Your Wife?
Leon:
Yes good my Lord,
I am her Husband,
And pray take
notice that I claim that honour,
And will maintain
it.
Cacafogo:
It thou beest
her Husband,
I am determin’d
thou shalt be my Cuckold,
I’ll be
thy faithful friend.
Leon:
Peace, dirt and
dunghil,
I will not lose
my anger on a Rascal,
Provoke me more,
I’ll beat thy blown body
Till thou rebound’st
again like a Tennis-Ball.
Alonzo:
This is miraculous.
Sanchio:
Is this the Fellow
That had the patience
to become a Fool,
A flurted Fool,
and on a sudden break,
As if he would
shew a wonder to the World,
Both in Bravery,
and Fortune too?
I much admire
the man, I am astonisht.
Margarita:
I’ll be divorced immediately.
Leon:
You shall not,
You shall not
have so much will to be wicked.
I am more tender
of your honour, Lady,
And of your Age,
you took me for a shadow;
You took me to
gloss over your discredit,
To be your Fool,
you had thought you had found a Coxcomb;
I am innocent
of any foul dishonour I mean to ye.
Only I will be
known to be your Lord now,
And be a fair
one too, or I will fall for’t.
Margarita:
I do command ye
from me, thou poor fellow,
Thou cozen’d
Fool.
Leon:
Thou cozen’d
Fool? ’tis not so,
I will not be
commanded: I am above ye:
You may divorce
me from your favour, Lady,
But from your
state you never shall, I’ll hold that,
And then maintain
your wantonness, I’ll wink at it.
Margarita:
Am I braved thus in mine own house?
Leon:
’Tis mine,
Madam,
205] You are deceiv’d, I am Lord of it, I rule
it and all that’s in’t;
You have nothing
to do here, Madam;
But as a Servant
to sweep clean the Lodgings,
And at my farther
will to do me service,
And so I’ll
keep it.
Margarita:
As you love me, give way.
Leon:
It shall be better,
I will give none,
Madam,
I stand upon the
ground of mine own Honour,
And will maintain
it, you shall know me now
To be an understanding
feeling man,
And sensible of
what a Woman aims at,
A young proud
Woman that has Will to sail with,
An itching Woman,
that her blood provokes too,
I cast my Cloud
off, and appear my self,
The master of
this little piece of mischief,
And I will put
a Spell about your feet, Lady,
They shall not
wander but where I give way now.
Duke of Medina:
Is this the Fellow
that the People pointed at,
For the meer sign
of man, the walking Image?
He speaks wondrous
highly.
Leon:
As a Husband ought,
Sir,
In his own house,
and it becomes me well too,
I think your Grace
would grieve if you were put to it
To have a Wife
or Servant of your own,
(For Wives are
reckon’d in the rank of Servants,)
Under your own
roof to command ye.
Juan de Castro:
Brave, a strange
Conversion, thou shalt lead
In chief now.
Duke of Medina:
Is there no difference betwixt her and you, Sir?
Leon:
Not now, Lord,
my Fortune makes me even,
And as I am an
honest man, I am nobler.
Margarita:
Get me my Coach.
Leon:
Let me see who
dares get it
Till I command,
I’ll make him draw your Coach too,
And eat your Coach,
(which will be hard diet)
That executes
your Will; or take your Coach, Lady,
I give you liberty,
and take your People
Which I turn off,
and take your Will abroad with ye,
Take all these
freely, but take me no more,
206] And so farewel.
Duke of Medina:
Nay, Sir, you
shall not carry it
So bravely off,
you shall not wrong a Lady
In a high huffing
strain, and think to bear it,
We stand not by
as Bawds to your brave fury,
To see a Lady
weep.
Leon:
They are tears
of anger, I beseech ye note ’em, not worth pity,
Wrung from her
rage, because her Will prevails not,
She would swound
now if she could not cry,
Else they were
excellent, and I should grieve too,
But falling thus,
they show nor sweet nor orient.
Put up my Lord,
this is oppression,
And calls the
Sword of Justice to relieve me,
The law to lend
her hand, the King to right me,
All which shall
understand how you provoke me,
In mine own house
to brave me, is this princely?
Then to my Guard,
and if I spare your Grace,
And do not make
this place your Monument,
Too rich a Tomb
for such a rude behaviour,
I have a Cause
will kill a thousand of ye, mercy forsake me.
Juan de Castro:
Hold, fair Sir,
I beseech ye,
The Gentleman
but pleads his own right nobly.
Leon:
He that dares
strike against the husbands freedom,
The Husbands Curse
stick to him, a tam’d Cuckold,
His Wife be fair
and young, but most dishonest,
Most impudent,
and have no feeling of it,
No conscience
to reclaim her from a Monster,
Let her lye by
him like a flattering ruine,
And at one instant
kill both Name and Honour,
Let him be lost,
no eye to weep his end,
Nor find no earth
that’s base enough to bury him.
Now Sir, fall
on, I am ready to oppose ye.
Duke of Medina:
I have better thought, I pray Sir use your Wife well.
Leon:
Mine own humanity
will teach me that, Sir,
And now you are
all welcome, all, and we’ll to dinner,
This is my Wedding-day.
Duke of Medina:
I’ll cross your joy yet.
Juan de Castro:
I made seen a
miracle, hold thine own, Souldier,
Sure they dare
fight in fire that conquer Women.
Sanchio:
H’as beaten all my loose thoughts out
of me,
207] As if he had thresht ’em out o’th’
husk.
[Enter Perez.]
Michael Perez:
’Save ye, which is the Lady of the house?
Leon:
That’s she,
Sir, that pretty Lady,
If you would speak
with her.
Juan de Castro:
Don Michael, Leon, another darer come.
Michael Perez:
Pray do not know
me, I am full of business,
When I have more
time I’ll be merry with ye.
It is the Woman:
good Madam, tell me truly,
Had you a Maid
call’d Estifania?
Margarita:
Yes truly, had I.
Michael Perez:
Was she a Maid do you think?
Margarita:
I dare not swear
for her,
For she had but
a scant Fame.
Michael Perez:
Was she your Kinswoman?
Margarita:
Not that I ever
knew, now I look better
I think you married
her, ’give you joy, Sir,
You may reclaim
her, ’twas a wild young Girl.
Michael Perez:
Give me a halter:
is not this house mine, Madam?
Was not she owner
of it, pray speak truly?
Margarita:
No, certainly,
I am sure my money paid for it,
And I ne’r
remember yet I gave it you, Sir.
Michael Perez:
The Hangings and the Plate too?
Margarita:
All are mine,
Sir,
And every thing
you see about the building,
She only kept
my house when I was absent,
And so ill kept
it, I was weary of her.
Sanchio:
What a Devil ails he?
Juan de Castro:
He’s possest I’ll assure you.
Michael Perez:
Where is your Maid?
Margarita:
Do not you know
that have her?
She is yours now,
why should I look after her?
Since that first
hour I came I never saw her.
Michael Perez:
I saw her later,
would the Devil had had her,
It is all true
I find, a wild-fire take her.
Juan de Castro:
Is thy Wife with
Child, Don Michael? thy excellent wife.
Art thou a Man
yet?
Alonzo:
When shall we come and visit thee?
Sanchio:
And eat some rare
fruit? thou hast admirable Orchards,
208] You are so jealous now, pox o’ your jealousie,
How scurvily you
look!
Michael Perez:
Prithee leave
fooling,
I am in no humour
now to fool and prattle,
Did she ne’r
play the wag with you?
Margarita:
Yes many times,
so often that I was asham’d to keep her,
But I forgave
her, Sir, in hope she would mend still,
And had not you
o’th’ instant married her,
I had put her
off.
Michael Perez:
I thank ye, I
am blest still,
Which way so e’r
I turn I am a made man,
Miserably gull’d
beyond recovery.
Juan de Castro:
You’ll stay and dine?
Michael Perez:
Certain I cannot,
Captain,
Hark in thine
ear, I am the arrantst Puppy,
The miserablest
Ass, but I must leave ye,
I am in haste,
in haste, bless you, good Madam,
And you prove
as good as my Wife.
[Exit.
Leon:
Will you come near, Sir, will
your Grace but honour me,
And taste our dinner? you are nobly welcome,
All anger’s past I hope, and I shall serve
ye.
Juan de Castro:
Thou art the stock of men, and
I admire thee.
[Ex.
Scena Prima.
[Enter Perez.]
Michael Perez:
I’ll go
to a Conjurer but I’ll find this Pol-cat,
This pilfering
Whore: a plague of Vails, I cry,
And covers for
the impudence of Women,
Their sanctity
in show will deceive Devils,
It is my evil
Angel, let me bless me.
[Enter Estifania with a Casket.]
Estifania:
’Tis he,
I am caught, I must stand to it stoutly,
And show no shake
of fear, I see he is angry,
Vext at the uttermost.
Michael Perez:
My worthy Wife,
I have been looking
of your modesty
All the town over.
209]
Estifania:
My most noble
Husband,
I am glad I have
found ye, for in truth I am weary,
Weary and lame
with looking out your Lordship.
Michael Perez:
I have been in Bawdy Houses.
Estifania:
I believe you, and very lately too.
Michael Perez:
’Pray you
pardon me,
To seek your Ladyship,
I have been in Cellars,
In private Cellars,
where the thirsty Bawds
Hear your Confessions;
I have been at Plays,
To look you out
amongst the youthful Actors,
At Puppet Shews,
you are Mistress of the motions,
At Gossippings
I hearkned after you,
But amongst those
Confusions of lewd Tongues
There’s
no distinguishing beyond a Babel.
I was amongst
the Nuns because you sing well,
But they say yours
are Bawdy Songs, they mourn for ye,
And last I went
to Church to seek you out,
’Tis so
long since you were there, they have forgot you.
Estifania:
You have had a
pretty progress, I’ll tell mine now:
To look you out,
I went to twenty Taverns.
Michael Perez:
And are you sober?
Estifania:
Yes, I reel not
yet, Sir,
Where I saw twenty
drunk, most of ’em Souldiers,
There I had great
hope to find you disguis’d too.
From hence to
th’ dicing-house, there I found
Quarrels needless,
and senceless, Swords and Pots, and Candlesticks,
Tables and Stools,
and all in one confusion,
And no man knew
his Friend. I left this Chaos,
And to the Chirurgions
went, he will’d me stay,
For says he learnedly,
if he be tipled,
Twenty to one
he whores, and then I hear of him,
If he be mad,
he quarrels, then he comes too.
I sought ye where
no safe thing would have ventur’d,
Amongst diseases,
base and vile, vile Women,
For I remembred
your old Roman axiom,
The more the danger,
still the more the Honour.
Last, to your
Confessor I came, who told me,
You were too proud
to pray, and here I have found ye.
Michael Perez:
She bears up bravely,
and the Rogue is witty,
But I shall dash
it instantly to nothing.
210] Here leave we off our wanton languages,
And now conclude
we in a sharper tongue.
Estifania:
Why am I cozen’d?
Why am I abused?
Michael Perez:
Thou most vile, base, abominable—
Estifania:
Captain.
Michael Perez:
Thou stinking, overstew’d, poor, pocky—
Estifania:
Captain.
Michael Perez:
Do you echo me?
Estifania:
Yes Sir, and go
before ye,
And round about
ye, why do you rail at me
For that that
was your own sin, your own knavery?
Michael Perez:
And brave me too?
Estifania:
You had best now
draw your Sword, Captain!
Draw it upon a
Woman, do, brave Captain,
Upon your Wife,
Oh most renowned Captain.
Michael Perez:
A Plague upon
thee, answer me directly;
Why didst thou
marry me?
Estifania:
To be my Husband;
I had thought
you had had infinite, but I’m cozen’d.
Michael Perez:
Why didst thou
flatter me, and shew me wonders?
A house and riches,
when they are but shadows,
Shadows to me?
Estifania:
Why did you work
on me
(It was but my
part to requite you, Sir)
With your strong
Souldiers wit, and swore you would bring me
So much in Chains,
so much in Jewels, Husband,
So much in right
rich Cloaths?
Michael Perez:
Thou hast ’em,
Rascal;
I gave ’em
to thy hands, my trunks and all,
And thou hast
open’d ’em, and sold my treasure.
Estifania:
Sir, there’s
your treasure, sell it to a Tinker
To mend old Kettles,
is this noble Usage?
Let all the World
view here the Captain’s treasure,
A Man would think
now, these were worthy matters;
Here’s a
shooing-horn Chain gilt over, how it scenteth
Worse than the
mouldy durty heel it served for:
And here’s
another of a lesser value,
So little I would
shame to tye my Dog in’t,
These are my joynture,
blush and save a labour,
211] Or these else will blush for ye.
Michael Perez:
A fire subtle ye, are ye so crafty?
Estifania:
Here’s a
goodly jewel,
Did not you win
this at Goletta, Captain,
Or took it in
the field from some brave Bashaw
How it sparkles
like an old Ladies eyes,
And fills each
room with light like a close Lanthorn!
This would do
rarely in an Abbey Window,
To cozen Pilgrims.
Michael Perez:
P[r]ithee leave prating.
Estifania:
And here’s
a Chain of Whitings eyes for pearls,
A Muscle-monger
would have made a better.
Michael Perez:
Nay, prithee wife, my Cloaths, my Cloaths.
Estifania:
I’ll tell
ye,
Your Cloaths are
parallels to these, all counterfeit.
Put these and
them on, you are a Man of Copper,
A kind of Candlestick;
these you thought, my Husband,
To have cozen’d
me withall, but I am quit with you.
Michael Perez:
Is there no house
then, nor no grounds about it?
No plate nor hangings?
Estifania:
There are none,
sweet Husband,
Shadow for shadow
is as equal justice.
Can you rail now?
pray put up your fury, Sir,
And speak great
words, you are a Souldier, thunder.
Michael Perez:
I will speak little,
I have plaid the Fool,
And so I am rewarded.
Estifania:
You have spoke
well, Sir,
And now I see
you are so conformable
I’ll heighten
you again, go to your house,
They are packing
to be gone, you must sup there,
I’ll meet
ye, and bring Cloaths, and clean Shirts after,
And all things
shall be well, I’ll colt you once more,
And teach you
to bring Copper.
Michael Perez:
Tell me one thing,
I do beseech thee
tell me, tell me truth, Wife,
However I forgive
thee, art thou honest?
The Beldam swore.
Estifania:
I bid her tell
you so, Sir,
It was my plot,
alas my credulous Husband,
The Lady told
you too.
212]
Michael Perez:
Most strange things of thee.
Estifania:
Still ’twas
my way, and all to try your sufferance,
And she denied
the House.
Michael Perez:
She knew me not,
No, nor no title
that I had.
Estifania:
’Twas well
carried;
No more, I am
right and straight.
Michael Perez:
I would believe
thee,
But Heaven knows
how my heart is, will ye follow me?
Estifania:
I’ll be there straight.
Michael Perez:
I am fooled, yet
dare not find it.
[Exit
Perez.
Estifania:
Go silly Fool,
thou mayst be a good Souldier
In open field,
but for our private service
Thou art an Ass,
I’ll make thee so, or miss else.
[Enter Cacafogo.]
Here comes another
Trout that I must tickle,
And tickle daintily,
I have lost my end else.
May I crave your
leave, Sir?
Cacafogo:
Prithee be answered,
thou shalt crave no leave,
I am in my meditations,
do not vex me,
A beaten thing,
but this hour a most bruised thing,
That people had
compassion on it, looked so,
The next Sir Palmerin,
here’s fine proportion,
An Ass, and then
an Elephant, sweet Justice,
There’s
no way left to come at her now, no craving,
If money could
come near, yet I would pay him;
I have a mind
to make him a huge Cuckold,
And money may
do much, a thousand Duckets,
’Tis but
the letting blood of a rank Heir.
Estifania:
’Pray you hear me.
Cacafogo:
I know thou hast
some wedding Ring to pawn now,
Of Silver and
gilt, with a blind posie in’t,
Love and a Mill-horse
should go round together,
Or thy Childs
whistle, or thy Squirrels Chain,
I’ll none
of ’em, I would she did but know me,
Or would this
Fellow had but use of money,
That I might come
in any way.
Estifania:
I am gone, Sir,
And I shall tell
the beauty sent me to ye,
213] The Lady Margarita.
Cacafogo:
Stay I prithee,
What is thy will?
I turn me wholly to ye,
And talk now till
thy tongue ake, I will hear ye.
Estifania:
She would entreat you, Sir,
Cacafogo:
She shall command,
Sir,
Let it be so,
I beseech thee, my sweet Gentlewoman,
Do not forget
thy self.
Estifania:
She does command
then
This courtesie,
because she knows you are noble.
Cacafogo:
Your Mistress by the way?
Estifania:
My natural mistress,
Upon these Jewels,
Sir, they are fair and rich,
And view ’em
right.
Cacafogo:
To doubt ’em is an heresie.
Estifania:
A thousand Duckets,
’tis upon necessity
Of present use,
her husband, Sir, is stubborn.
Cacafogo:
Long may he be so.
Estifania:
She desires withal
a better knowledge of your parts and person,
And when you please
to do her so much honour.
Cacafogo:
Come, let’s dispatch.
Estifania:
In troth I have
heard her say, Sir,
Of a fat man she
has not seen a sweeter.
But in this business,
Sir.
Cacafogo:
Let’s do
it first
And then dispute,
the Ladies use may long for’t.
Estifania:
All secrecy she
would desire, she told me
How wise you are.
Cacafogo:
We are not wise
to talk thus,
Carry her the
gold, I’le look her out a Jewel,
Shall sparkle
like her eyes, and thee another,
Come prethee come,
I long to serve thy Lady,
Long monstrously,
now valor I shall meet ye,
You that dare
Dukes.
Estifania:
Green goose you
are now in sippets.
[Exeunt.
[Enter the Duke, Sanchio, Juan, Alonzo.]
Duke of Medina:
He shall not have
his will, I shall prevent him,
I have a toy here
that will turn the tide,
And suddenly,
and strangely, hear Don Juan,
214] Do you present it to him.
Juan de Castro:
I am commanded.
[Exit.
Duke of Medina:
A fellow founded
out of Charity,
And moulded to
the height contemn his maker,
Curb the free
hand that fram’d him? This must not be.
Sanchio:
That such an oyster
shell should hold a pearl,
And of so rare
a price in prison,
Was she made to
be the matter of her own undoing,
To let a slovenly
unweildy fellow,
Unruly and self
will’d, dispose her beauties?
We suffer all
Sir in this sad Eclipse,
She should shine
where she might show like her self,
An absolute sweetness,
to comfort those admire her,
And shed her beams
upon her friends.
We are gull’d
all,
And all the world
will grumble at your patience,
If she be ravish’t
thus.
Duke of Medina:
Ne’r fear
it Sanchio,
We’I have
her free again, and move at Court
In her clear orb:
but one sweet handsomeness,
To bless this
part of Spain, and have that slubber’d?
Alonzo:
’Tis every good mans cause, and we must stir in it.
Duke of Medina:
I’le warrant
he shall be glad to please us,
And glad to share
too, we shall hear anon
A new song from
him, let’s attend a little.
[Exeunt.
[Enter Leon, and Juan, with a commission.]
Leon:
Coronel, I am
bound to you for this nobleness,
I should have
been your officer, ’tis true Sir,
And a proud man
I should have been to have serv’d you,
’T has pleas’d
the King out of his boundless favours,
To make me your
companion, this commission
Gives me a troop
of horse.
Juan de Castro:
I do rejoyce at
it,
And am a glad
man we shall gain your company,
I am sure the
King knows you are newly married,
And out of that
respect gives you more time Sir.
Leon:
Within four daies
I am gone, so he commands me,
And ’tis
not mannerly for me to argue it,
The time grows
shorter still, are your goods ready?
215]
Juan de Castro:
They are aboard.
Leon:
Who waits there?
[Enter Servant.]
Servant:
Sir.
Leon:
Do you hear ho,
go carry this unto your Mistris Sir,
And let her see
how much the King has honour’d me,
Bid her be lusty,
she must make a Souldier.
[Exit.
[Enter Lorenzo.]
Lorenzo:
Sir,
Go take down all
the hangings,
And pack up all
my cloths, my plate and Jewels,
And all the furniture
that’s portable,
Sir when we lye
in garrison, ’tis necessary
We keep a handsom
port, for the Kings honour;
And do you hear,
let all your Ladies wardrobe
Be safely plac’d
in trunks, they must along too.
Lorenzo:
Whither must they goe Sir?
Leon:
To the wars, Lorenzo,
And you and all,
I will not leave a turn-spit,
That has one dram
of spleen against a Dutchman.
Lorenzo:
Why then St
Jaques hey, you have made us all Sir,
And if we leave
ye—does my Lady goe too?
Leon:
The stuff must
goe to morrow towards the sea Sir,
All, all must
goe.
Lorenzo:
Why Pedro,
Vasco, Dego,
Come help me,
come come boys, soldadocs, comrades,
We’l fley
these beer-bellied rogues, come away quickly.
[Exit.
Juan de Castro:
H’as taken
a brave way to save his honour,
And cross the
Duke, now I shall love him dearly,
By the life of
credit thou art a noble Gentleman.
[Enter Margarita, led by two Ladies.]
Leon:
Why how now wife,
what, sick at my preferment?
This is not kindly
done.
Margarita:
No sooner love
ye,
Love ye intirely
Sir, brought to consider
The goodness of
your mind and mine own duty,
But lose you instantly,
be divorc’d from ye?
216] This is a cruelty, I’le to the King
And tell him ’tis
unjust to part two souls,
Two minds so nearly
mixt.
Leon:
By no means sweet heart.
Margarita:
If he were married but four daies as I am.
Leon:
He would hang himself the fifth, or fly his Country.
Margarita:
He would make
it treason for that tongue that durst
But talk of war,
or any thing to vex him,
You shall not
goe.
Leon:
Indeed I must
sweet wife,
What shall I lose
the King for a few kisses?
We’l have
enough.
Margarita:
I’le to the Duke my cousin, he shall to th’ King.
Leon:
He did me this
great office,
I thank his grace
for’t, should I pray him now,
To undoe’t
again? fye ’twere a base discredit.
Margarita:
Would I were able
Sir to bear you company,
How willing should
I be then, and how merry!
I will not live
alone.
Leon:
Be in peace, you
shall not.
[knock
within.
Margarita:
What knocking’s
this? oh Heaven my head, why rascals
I thin[k] the
war’s begun i’th’ house already.
Leon:
The preparation
is, they are taking down,
And packing up
the hangings, plate and Jewels,
And all those
furnitures that shall befit me
When I lye in
garrison.
[Enter Coachman.]
Coachman:
Must the Coach goe too Sir?
Leon:
How will your
Lady pass to th’ sea else easily?
We shall find
shipping for’t there to transport it.
Margarita:
I goe? alas!
Leon:
I’le have
a main care of ye,
I know ye are
sickly, he shall drive the easier,
And all accommodation
shall attend ye.
Margarita:
Would I were able.
Leon:
Come I warrant
ye,
Am not I with
ye sweet? are her cloaths packt up,
And all her linnen?
give your maids direction,
You know my time’s
but short, and I am commanded.
217]
Margarita:
Let me have a
nurse,
And all such necessary
people with me,
And an easie bark.
Leon:
It shall not trot
I warrant ye,
Curvet it may
sometimes.
Margarita:
I am with child Sir.
Leon:
At four days warning?
this is something speedy,
Do you conceive
as our jennets do with a west winde?
My heir will be
an arrant fleet one Lady,
I’le swear
you were a maid when I first lay with ye.
Margarita:
Pray do not swear,
I thought I was a maid too,
But we may both
be cozen’d in that point Sir.
Leon:
In such a strait point sure I could not err Madam.
Juan de Castro:
This is another
tenderness to try him,
Fetch her up now.
Margarita:
You must provide a cradle, and what a troubles that?
Leon:
The sea shall
rock it,
’Tis the
best nurse; ’twill roar and rock together,
A swinging storm
will sing you such a lullaby.
Margarita:
Faith let me stay, I shall but shame ye Sir.
Leon:
And you were a
thousand shames you shall along with me,
At home I am sure
you’l prove a million,
Every man carries
the bundle of his sins
Upon his own back,
you are mine, I’le sweat for ye.
[Enter Duke, Alonzo, Sanchio.]
Duke of Medina:
What Sir, preparing
for your noble journey?
’Tis well,
and full of care.
I saw your mind
was wedded to the war,
And knew you would
prove some good man for your country,
Therefore fair
Cousin with your gentle pardon,
I got this place:
what, mourn at his advancement?
You are to blame,
he will come again sweet cousin,
Mean time like
sad Penelope and sage,
Amongst your maids
at home, and huswifely.
Leon:
No Sir, I dare
not leave her to that solitariness,
She is young,
and grief or ill news from those quarters
May daily cross
her, she shall goe along Sir.
Duke of Medina:
By no means Captain.
Leon:
By all means an’t please ye.
218]
Duke of Medina:
What take a young
and tender bodied Lady,
And expose her
to those dangers, and those tumults,
A sickly Lady
too?
Leon:
’Twill make
her well Sir,
There’s
no such friend to health as wholsom travel.
Sanchio:
Away it must not be.
Alonzo:
It ought not Sir,
Go hurry her?
it is not humane, Captain.
Duke of Medina:
I cannot blame
her tears, fright her with tempests,
With thunder of
the war.
I dare swear if
she were able.
Leon:
She is most able.
And pray ye swear
not, she must goe, there’s no remedy,
Nor greatness,
nor the trick you had to part us,
Which I smell
too rank, too open, too evident
(And I must tell
you Sir, ’tis most unnoble)
Shall hinder me:
had she but ten hours life,
Nay less, but
two hours, I would have her with me,
I would not leave
her fame to so much ruine,
To such a desolation
and discredit
As her weakness
and your hot will wou’d work her to.
[Enter Perez.]
What Masque is
this now?
More tropes and
figures, to abuse my sufferance,
What cousin’s
this?
Juan de Castro:
Michael van
owle, how dost thou?
In what dark barn
or tod of aged Ivy
Hast thou lyen
hid?
Michael Perez:
Things must both
ebbe and flow, Coronel,
And people must
conceal, and shine again.
You are welcom
hither as your friend may say, Gentleman,
A pretty house
ye see handsomely seated,
Sweet and convenient
walks, the waters crystal.
Alonzo:
He’s certain mad.
Juan de Castro:
As mad as a French
Tayler,
That has nothing
in’s head but ends of fustians.
Michael Perez:
I see you are
packing now my gentle cousin,
And my wife told
me I should find it so,
’Tis true
I do, you were merry when I was last here,
219] But ’twas your will to try my patience
Madam.
I am sorry that
my swift occasions
Can let you take
your pleasure here no longer,
Yet I would have
you think my honour’d cousin,
This house and
all I have are all your servants.
Leon:
What house, what pleasure Sir, what do you mean?
Michael Perez:
You hold the jest
so stiff, ’twill prove discourteous,
This house I mean,
the pleasures of this place.
Leon:
And what of them?
Michael Perez:
They are mine
Sir, and you know it,
My wifes I mean,
and so confer’d upon me,
The hangings Sir
I must entreat, your servants,
That are so busie
in their offices,
Again to minister
to their right uses,
I shall take view
o’th’ plate anon, and furnitures
That are of under
place; you are merry still cousin,
And of a pleasant
constitution,
Men of great fortunes
make their mirths at placitum.
Leon:
Prethee good stubborn
wife, tell me directly,
Good evil wife
leave fooling and tell me honestly,
Is this my kinsman?
Margarita:
I can tell ye nothing.
Leon:
I have many kinsmen,
but so mad a one,
And so phantastick—all
the house?
Michael Perez:
All mine,
And all within
it. I will not bate ye an ace on’t.
Can you not receive
a noble courtesie,
And quietly and
handsomely as ye ought Couz,
But you must ride
o’th’ top on’t?
Leon:
Canst thou fight?
Michael Perez:
I’le tell ye presently, I could have done Sir.
Leon:
For ye must law and claw before ye get it.
Juan de Castro:
Away, no quarrels.
Leon:
Now I am more
temperate,
I’le have
it prov’d if you were never yet in Bedlam,
Never in love,
for that’s a lunacy,
No great state
left ye that you never lookt for,
Nor cannot manage,
that’s a rank distemper;
That you were
christen’d, and who answer’d for ye,
And then I yield.
220]
Michael Perez:
H’as half
perswaded me I was bred i’th’ moon,
I have ne’r
a bush at my breech, are not we both mad,
And is not this
a phantastick house we are in,
And all a dream
we do? will ye walk out Sir,
And if I do not
beat thee presently
Into a sound belief,
as sense can give thee,
Brick me into
that wall there for a chimny piece,
And say I was
one o’th’ Caesars, done by a seal-cutter.
Leon:
I’le talk no more, come we’l away immediatly.
Margarita:
Why then the house
is his, and all that’s in it,
I’le give
away my skin but I’le undoe ye,
I gave it to his
wife, you must restore Sir,
And make a new
provision.
Michael Perez:
Am I mad now or
am I christen’d, you my pagan cousin,
My mighty Mahound
kinsman, what quirk now?
You shall be welcom
all, I hope to see Sir
Your Grace here,
and my couz, we are all Souldiers,
And must do naturally
for one another.
Duke of Medina:
Are ye blank at
this? then I must tell ye Sir,
Ye have no command,
now ye may goe at pleasure
And ride your
asse troop, ’twas a trick I us’d
To try your jealousie
upon entreatie,
And saving of
your wife.
Leon:
All this not moves
me,
Nor stirs my gall,
nor alters my affections,
You have more
furniture, more houses Lady,
And rich ones
too, I will make bold with those,
And you have Land
i’th’ Indies as I take it,
Thither we’l
goe, and view a while those climats,
Visit your Factors
there, that may betray ye,
’Tis done,
we must goe.
Margarita:
Now thou art a
brave Gentleman,
And by this sacred
light I love thee dearly.
The house is none
of yours, I did but jest Sir,
Nor you are no
couz of mine, I beseech ye vanish,
I tell you plain,
you have no more right than he
Has, that senseless
thing, your wife has once more fool’d ye:
Goe ye and consider.
Leon:
Good morrow my sweet cousin, I should be glad Sir.
Michael Perez:
By this hand she dies for’t,
221] Or any man that speaks for her.
[Exit Perez.
Juan de Castro:
These are fine toyes.
Margarita:
Let me request
you stay but one poor month,
You shall have
a Commission and I’le goe too,
Give me but will
so far.
Leon:
Well I will try
ye,
Good morrow to
your Grace, we have private business.
Duke of Medina:
If I miss thee again, I am an arrant bungler.
Juan de Castro:
Thou shalt have
my command, and I’le march under thee,
Nay be thy boy
before thou shalt be baffled,
Thou art so brave
a fellow.
Alonzo:
I have seen visions.
[Exeunt.
Scena Prima.
[Enter Leon, with a letter, and Margarita.]
Leon:
Come hither wife, do you know this hand?
Margarita:
I do Sir,
’Tis Estifania,
that was once my woman.
Leon:
She writes to
me here, that one Cacafogo
An usuring Jewellers
son (I know the Rascal)
Is mortally faln
in love with ye.
Margarita:
Is a monster, deliver me from mountains.
Leon:
Do you goe a birding
for all sorts of people?
And this evening
will come to ye and shew ye Jewels,
And offers any
thing to get access to ye,
If I can make
or sport or profit on him,
(For he is fit
for both) she bids me use him,
And so I will,
be you conformable, and follow but my will.
Margarita:
I shall not fail, Sir.
Leon:
Will the Duke come again do you think?
Margarita:
No sure Sir,
H’as now
no policie to bring him hither.
Leon:
Nor bring you
to him, if my wit hold fair wife:
Let’s in
to dinner.
[Exeunt.
[Enter Perez.]
Michael Perez:
Had I but lungs
enough to bawl sufficiently,
That all the queans
in Christendom might hear me,
222] That men might run away from contagion,
I had my wish;
would it were most high treason,
Most infinite
high, for any man to marry,
I mean for any
man that would live handsomely,
And like a Gentleman,
in his wits and credit.
What torments
shall I put her to, Phalaris bull now,
Pox they love
bulling too well, though they smoak for’t.
Cut her apieces?
every piece will live still,
And every morsel
of her will do mischief;
They have so many
lives, there’s no hanging of ’em,
They are too light
to drown, they are cork and feathers;
To burn too cold,
they live like Salamanders;
Under huge heaps
of stones to bury her,
And so depress
her as they did the Giants;
She will move
under more than built old Babel,
I must destroy
her.
[Enter Cacafogo, with a Casket.]
Cacafogo:
Be cozen’d
by a thing of clouts, a she moth,
That every silkmans
shop breeds; to be cheated,
And of a thousand
duckets by a whim wham?
Michael Perez:
Who’s that
is cheated, speak again thou vision,
But art thou cheated?
minister some comfort:
Tell me directly
art thou cheated bravely?
Come, prethee
come, art thou so pure a coxcomb
To be undone?
do not dissemble with me,
Tell me I conjure
thee.
Cacafogo:
Then keep thy
circle,
For I am a spirit
wild that flies about thee,
And who e’re
thou art, if thou be’st humane,
I’le let
thee plainly know, I am cheated damnably.
Michael Perez:
Ha, ha, ha.
Cacafogo:
Dost thou laugh? damnably, I say most damnably.
Michael Perez:
By whom, good spirit speak, speak ha, ha, ha.
Cacafogo:
I will utter,
laugh till thy lungs crack, by a rascal woman,
A lewd, abominable,
and plain woman.
Dost thou laugh
still?
Michael Perez:
I must laugh,
prethee pardon me,
I shall laugh
terribly.
Cacafogo:
I shall be angry, terrible angry, I have cause.
223]
Michael Perez:
That’s it,
and ’tis no reason but thou shouldst be angry,
Angry at heart,
yet I must laugh still at thee.
By a woman cheated?
art’ sure it was a woman?
Cacafogo:
I shall break thy head, my valour itches at thee.
Michael Perez:
It is no matter,
by a woman cozen’d,
A real woman?
Cacafogo:
A real Devil,
Plague of her
Jewels and her copper chains,
How rank they
smell.
Michael Perez:
Sweet cozen’d
Sir let me see them,
I have been cheated
too, I would have you note that,
And lewdly cheated,
by a woman also,
A scurvie woman,
I am undone sweet Sir,
Therefore I must
have leave to [l]augh.
Cacafogo:
Pray ye take it,
You are the merriest
undone man in Europe.
What need we fiddles,
bawdy songs and sack,
When our own miseries
can make us merry?
Michael Perez:
Ha, ha, ha.
I have seen these
Jewels, what a notable penniworth
Have you had next
your heart? you will not take Sir
Some twenty Duckets?
Cacafogo:
Thou art deceiv’d, I will take.
Michael Perez:
To clear your bargain now.
Cacafogo:
I’le take
some ten, some any thing, some half ten,
Half a Ducket.
Michael Perez:
An excellent lapidary
set these stones sure,
Do you mark their
waters?
Cacafogo:
Quick-sand choak
their waters,
And hers that
bought ’em too, but I shall find her.
Michael Perez:
And so shall I,
I hope, but do not hurt her,
You cannot find
in all this Kingdom,
(If you had need
of cozening, as you may have,
For such gross
natures will desire it often,
’Tis at
some time too a fine variety,)
A woman that can
cozen ye so neatly,
She has taken
half mine anger off with this trick.
[Exit.
Cacafogo:
If I were valiant
now, I would kill this fellow,
I have mony enough
lies by me at a pinch
To pay for twenty
Rascals lives that vex me,
224] I’le to this Lady, there I shall be satisfied.
[Exit.
[Enter Leon, and Margarita.]
Leon:
Come, we’l
away unto your country house,
And there we’l
learn to live contently,
This place is
full of charge, and full of hurry,
No part of sweetness
dwells about these cities.
Margarita:
Whither you will,
I wait upon your pleasure;
Live in a hollow
tree Sir, I’le live with ye.
Leon:
I, now you strike
a harmony, a true one,
When your obedience
waits upon your Husband,
And your sick
will aims at the care of honour,
Why now I dote
upon ye, love ye dearly,
And my rough nature
falls like roaring streams,
Clearly and sweetly
into your embraces.
O what a Jewel
is a woman excellent,
A wise, a vertuous
and a noble woman!
When we meet such,
we bear our stamps on both sides,
And through the
world we hold our currant virtues,
Alone we are single
medals, only faces,
And wear our fortunes
out in useless shadows,
Command you now,
and ease me of that trouble,
I’le be
as humble to you as a servant,
Bid whom you please,
invite your noble friends,
They shall be
welcome all, visit acquaintance,
Goe at your pleasure,
now experience
Has link’t
you fast unto the chain of goodness:
What noise is
this, what dismal cry?
[Clashing swords. A cry within, down with their swords.]
Margarita:
’Tis loud too.
Sure there’s some mischief done i’th’
street, look out there.
Leon:
Look out and help.
[Enter a Servant.]
Servant:
Oh Sir the Duke Medina.
Leon:
What of the Duke Medina?
Servant:
Oh sweet Gentleman, is almost slain.
Margarita:
Away away and help him, all the
house help.
[Exit
Servant.
Leon:
How slain? why Margarita,
Why wife, sure some new device they have a foot
again,
225] Some trick upon my credit, I shall meet it,
I had rather guide a ship Imperial
Alone, and in a storm, than rule one woman.
[Enter Duke, Margarita, Sanchio, Alonzo, Servant.]
Margarita:
How came ye hurt Sir?
Duke of Medina:
I fell out with
my friend the noble Coronel,
My cause was naught,
for ’twas about your honour:
And he that wrongs
the Innocent ne’r prospers,
And he has left
me thus for charity,
Lend me a bed
to ease my tortur’d body,
That e’re
I perish I may show my penitence,
I fear I am slain.
Leon:
Help Gentlemen
to carry him,
There shall be
nothing in this house my Lord,
But as your own.
Duke of Medina:
I thank ye noble Sir.
Leon:
To bed with him, and wife give your attendance.
[Enter Juan.]
Juan de Castro:
Doctors and Surgions.
Duke of Medina:
Do not disquiet
me,
But let me take
my leave in peace.
[Ex. Duke, Sanchio, Alon. Marg. Servant.
Leon:
Afore me
’Tis rarely
counterfeited.
Juan de Castro:
True, it is so
Sir,
And take you heed,
this last blow do not spoil ye,
He is not hurt,
only we made a scuffle,
As though we purpos’d
anger; that same scratch
On’s hand
he took, to colour all and draw compassion,
That he might
get into your house more cunningly.
I must not stay,
stand now, and y’are a brave fellow.
Leon:
I thank ye noble
Coronel, and I honour ye.
[Exit
Juan.
Never be quiet?
[Enter Margarita.]
Margarita:
He’s most
desperate ill Sir,
I do not think
these ten months will recover him.
Leon:
Does he hire my
house to play the fool in,
226] Or does it stand on Fairy ground, we are haunted,
Are all men and
their wives troubled with dreams thus?
Margarita:
What ail you Sir?
Leon:
Nay what ail you
sweet wife,
To put these daily
pastimes on my patience?
What dost thou
see in me, that I should suffer thus,
Have not I done
my part like a true Husband,
And paid some
desperate debts you never look’d for?
Margarita:
You have done handsomely I must confess Sir.
Leon:
Have I not kept
thee waking like a hawk?
And watcht thee
with delights to satisfy thee?
The very tithes
of which had won a Widow.
Margarita:
Alas I pity ye.
Leon:
Thou wilt make
me angry,
Thou never saw’st
me mad yet.
Margarita:
You are alwaies,
You carry a kind
of bedlam still about ye.
Leon:
If thou pursuest
me further I run stark mad,
If you have more
hurt Dukes or Gentlemen,
To lye here on
your cure, I shall be desperate,
I know the trick,
and you shall feel I know it,
Are ye so hot
that no hedge can contain ye?
I’le have
thee let blood in all the veins about thee,
I’le have
thy thoughts found too, and have them open’d,
Thy spirits purg’d,
for those are they that fire ye,
Thy maid shall
be thy Mistris, thou the maid,
And all those
Margarita:
I have lost my
self Sir,
And all that was
my base self, disobedience,
[kneels.
My wantonness,
my stubborness I have lost too,
And now by that
pure faith good wives are crown’d with,
By your own nobleness.
[Enter Altea.]
Leon:
I take ye up,
and wear ye next my heart,
See you be worth
it. Now what with you?
227]
Altea:
I come to tell
my Lady,
There is a fulsome
fellow would fain speak with her.
Leon:
’Tis Cacafogo,
goe and entertain him,
And draw him on
with hopes.
Margarita:
I shall observe ye.
Leon:
I have a rare
design upon that Gentleman,
And you must work
too.
Altea:
I shall Sir most willingly.
Leon:
Away then both,
and keep him close in some place
From the Dukes
sight, and keep the Duke in too,
Make ’em
believe both, I’le find time to cure ’em.
[Exeunt.
[Enter Perez, and Estifania, with a Pistol, and a Dagge[r].]
Michael Perez:
Why how darst
thou meet me again thou rebel,
And knowst how
thou hast used me thrice, thou rascal?
Were there not
waies enough to fly my vengeance,
No holes nor vaults
to hide thee from my fury,
But thou must
meet me face to face to kill thee?
I would not seek
thee to destroy thee willingly,
But now thou comest
to invite me,
And comest upon
me,
How like a sheep-biting
Rogue taken i’th’ manner,
And ready for
the halter dost thou look now!
Thou hast a hanging
look thou scurvy thing, hast ne’r a knife
Nor ever a string
to lead thee to Elysium?
Be there no pitifull
’Pothecaries in this town,
That have compassion
upon wretched women,
And dare administer
a dram of rats-bane,
But thou must
fall to me?
Estifania:
I know you have mercy.
Michael Perez:
If I had tuns
of mercy thou deserv’st none,
What new trick
is now afoot, and what new houses
Have you i’th’
air, what orchards in apparition,
What canst thou
say for thy life?
Estifania:
Little or nothing,
I know you’l
kill me, and I know ’tis useless
To beg for mercy,
pray let me draw my book out,
And pray a little.
Michael Perez:
Do, a very little,
For I have farther business than thy killing,
228] I have mony yet to borrow, speak when you are
ready.
Estifania:
Now now Sir, now,
[shews
a Pistol.
Come on, do you start off from
me,
Do you swear great Captain, have you seen a
spirit?
Michael Perez:
Do you wear guns?
Estifania:
I am a Souldiers
wife Sir,
And by that priviledge
I may be arm’d,
Now what’s
the news, and let’s discourse more friendly,
And talk of our
affairs in peace.
Michael Perez:
Let me see,
Prethee let me
see thy gun, ’tis a very pretty one.
Estifania:
No no Sir, you shall feel.
Michael Perez:
Hold ye villain, what thine own Husband?
Estifania:
Let mine own Husband
then
Be in’s
own wits, there, there’s a thousand duckets,
Who must provide
for you, and yet you’l kill me.
Michael Perez:
I will not hurt thee for ten thousand millio[n]s.
Estifania:
When will you
redeem your Jewels, I have pawn’d ’em,
You see for what,
we must keep touch.
Michael Perez:
I’le kiss
thee,
And get as many
more, I’le make thee famous,
Had we the house
now!
Estifania:
Come along with
me,
If that be vanish’t
there be more to hire Sir.
Michael Perez:
I see I am an asse when thou art near me.
[]
[Enter Leon, Margarita, and Altea, with a Taper.]
Leon:
Is the fool come?
Altea:
Yes and i’th’
celler fast,
And there he staies
his good hour till I call him,
He will make dainty
musick among the sack-butts,
I have put him
just, Sir, under the Dukes chamber.
Leon:
It is the better.
Altea:
Has given me royally,
And to my Lady
a whole load of portigues.
Leon:
Better and better still, go Margarita,
Now play your prize, you say you dare be honest,
I’le put ye to your best.
Margarita:
Secure your self Sir, give me the candle,
229] Pass away in silence.
[Ex. Leon and Altea. She knocks.
Duke of Medina:
Who’s there, oh oh.
Margarita:
My Lord,
Duke of Medina within:
Have ye brought me comfort?
Margarita:
I have my Lord.
Come forth ’tis
I, come gently out I’le help ye,
[Enter Duke, in a gown.]
Come softly too, how do you?
Duke of Medina:
Are there none here?
Let me look round; we cannot be too wary,
[noise below.
Oh let me bless this hour, are you alone sweet friend?
Margarita:
Alone to comfort you.
[Cacafogo
makes a noise below.
Duke of Medina:
What’s that you tumble?
I have heard a noise this half hour under me,
A fearfull noise.
Margarita:
The fat thing’s mad i’th’ celler,
And stumbles from one hogs-head to another,
Two cups more, and he ne’r shall find the way out.
What do you fear? come, sit down by me chearfully,
My Husband’s safe, how do your wounds?
Duke of Medina:
I have none Lady,
My wounds I counterfeited
cunningly,
[noise below.
And feign’d
the quarrel too, to injoy you sweet,
Let’s lose
no time, heark the same noise again.
Margarita:
What noise, why
look ye pale? I hear no stirring,
This goblin in
the vault will be so tipled.
You are not well
I know by your flying fancy,
Your body’s
ill at ease, your wounds.
Duke of Medina:
I have none, I
am as lusty and as full of health,
High in my blood.
Margarita:
Weak in your blood
you would say,
How wretched is
my case, willing to please ye,
And find you so
disable?
Duke of Medina:
Believe me Lady.
Margarita:
I know you will
venture all you have to satisfy me,
Your life I know,
but is it fit I spoil ye,
Is it my love
do you think?
Cacafogo below:
Here’s to the Duke.
230]
Duke of Medina:
It nam’d
me certainly,
I heard it plainly
sound.
Margarita:
You are hurt mortally,
And fitter for
your prayers Sir than pleasure,
What starts you
make? I would not kiss you wantonly,
For the world’s
wealth; have I secur’d my Husband,
And put all doubts
aside to be deluded?
Cacafogo below:
I come, I come.
Duke of Medina:
Heaven bless me.
Margarita:
And bless us both,
for sure this is the Devil,
I plainly heard
it now, he will come to fetch ye,
A very spirit,
for he spoke under ground,
And spoke to you
just as you would have snatcht me,
You are a wicked
man, and sure this haunts ye,
Would you were
out o’th’ house.
Duke of Medina:
I would I were,
O’ that
condition I had leapt a window.
Margarita:
And that’s
the least leap if you mean to scape Sir,
Why what a frantick
man were you to come here,
What a weak man
to counterfeit deep wounds,
To wound another
deeper!
Duke of Medina:
Are you honest then?
Margarita:
Yes then and now,
and ever, and excellent honest,
And exercise this
pastime but to shew ye,
Great men are
fools sometimes as well as wretches.
Would you were
well hurt, with any hope of life,
Cut to the brains,
or run clean through the body,
To get out quietly
as you got in Sir,
I wish it like
a friend that loves ye dearly,
For if my Husband
take ye, and take ye thus a counterfeit,
One that would
clip his credit out of his honour,
He must kill ye
presently,
There is no mercy
nor an hour of pity,
And for me to
intreat in such an agony,
Would shew me
little better than one guilty,
Have you any mind
to a Lady now?
Duke of Medina:
Would I were off
fair,
If ever Lady caught
me in a trap more.
Margarita:
If you be well
and lusty, fy fy shake not,
You say you love
me, come, come bravely now,
231] Despise all danger, I am ready for ye.
Duke of Medina:
She mocks my misery, thou cruel Lady.
Margarita:
Thou cruel Lord,
wouldst thou betray my honesty,
Betray it in mine
own house, wrong my Husband,
Like a night thief,
thou darst not name by day-light?
Duke of Medina:
I am most miserable.
Margarita:
You are indeed,
And like a foolish
thing you have made your self so,
Could not your
own discretion tell ye Sir,
When I was married
I was none of yours?
Your eyes were
then commanded to look off me,
And I now stand
in a circle and secure,
Your spells nor
power can never reach my body,
Mark me but this,
and then Sir be most miserable,
’Tis sacriledge
to violate a wedlock,
You rob two Temples,
make your self twice guilty,
You ruine hers,
and spot her noble Husbands.
Duke of Medina:
Let me be gone, I’le never more attempt ye.
Margarita:
You cannot goe,
’tis not in me to save ye,
Dare ye do ill,
and poorly then shrink under it?
Were I the Duke
Medina, I would fight now,
For you must fight
and bravely, it concerns you,
You do me double
wrong if you sneak off Sir,
And all the world
would say I lov’d a coward,
And you must dye
too, for you will be kill’d,
And leave your
youth, your honour and your state,
And all those
dear delights you worship’t here.
[Noise below.
Duke of Medina:
The noise again!
Cacafogo below:
Some small beer if you love me.
Margarita:
The Devil haunts
you sure, your sins are mighty.
A drunken Devil
too, to plague your villany.
Duke of Medina:
Preserve me but this once.
Margarita:
There’s
a deep well
In the next yard,
if you dare venture drowning,
It is but dea[t]h.
Duke of Medina:
I would not dye so wretchedly.
Margarita:
Out of a garret
window I’le let you down then,
But say the rope
be rotten, ’tis huge high too.
Duke of Medina:
Have you no mercy?
Margarita:
Now you are frighted
throughly,
232] And find what ’tis to play the fool in
folly,
And see with clear
eyes your detested folly,
I’le be
your guard.
Duke of Medina:
And I’le
be your true servant,
Ever from this
hour vertuously to love ye,
Chastly and modestly
to look upon ye,
And here I seal
it.
Margarita:
I may kiss a stranger, for you must now be so.
[Enter Leon, Juan, Alonzo, Sanchio.]
Leon:
How do you my
Lord,
Me thinks you
look but poorly on this matter.
Has my wife wounded
ye, you were well before,
Pray Sir be comforted,
I have forgot all,
Truly forgiven
too, wife you are a right one,
And now with unknown
nations I dare trust ye.
Juan de Castro:
No more feign’d fights my Lord, they never prosper.
Leon:
Who’s this? the Devil in the vault?
Altea:
’Tis he Sir, and as lovingly drunk, as though he had studied it.
Cacafogo:
Give me a cup
of Sack, and kiss me Lady,
Kiss my sweet
face, and make thy Husband cuckold,
An Ocean of sweet
Sack, shall we speak treason?
Leon:
He is Devilish drunk.
Duke of Medina:
I had thought
he had been a Devil.
He made as many
noises and as horrible.
Leon:
Oh a true lover
Sir will lament loudly,
Which of the butts
is your Mistris?
Cacafogo:
Butt in thy belly.
Leon:
There’s two in thine I am sure, ’tis grown so monstrous.
Cacafogo:
Butt in thy face.
Leon:
Go carry him to sleep,
A fools love should be drunk, he has paid well for’t too.
When he is sober let him out to rail,
Or hang himself, there will be no loss of him.
[Exit Caca. and Servant.
[Enter Perez, and Estifania.]
Leon:
Who’s this? my Mauhound cousin?
Michael Perez:
Good Sir, ’tis very good,
would I had a house too,
For there is no talking in the open air,
233] My Tarmogant Couz, I would be bold to tell ye,
I durst be merry too; I tell you plainly,
You have a pretty seat, you have the luck on’t,
A pretty Lady too, I have mist both,
My Carpenter built in a mist I thank him,
Do me the courtesie to let me see it,
See it but once more. But I shall cry for
anger.
I’le hire a Chandlers shop close under
ye,
And for my foolerie, sell sope and whip-cord,
Nay if you do not laugh now and laugh heartily,
You are a fool couz.
Leon:
I must laugh a
little,
And now I have
done, couz thou shalt live with me,
My merry couz,
the world shall not divorce us,
Thou art a valiant
man, and thou shalt never want,
Will this content
thee?
Michael Perez:
I’le cry,
and then I’le be thankfull,
Indeed I will,
and I’le be honest to ye.
I would live a
swallow here I must confess.
Wife I forgive
thee all if thou be honest,
At thy peril,
I believe thee excellent.
Estifania:
If I prove otherwaies,
let me beg first,
Hold, this is
yours, some recompence for service,
Use it to nobler
ends than he that gave it.
Duke of Medina:
And this is yours,
your true commission, Sir,
Now you are a
Captain.
Leon:
You are a noble
Prince Sir,
And now a souldier,
Gentleman, we all rejoyce in’t.
Juan de Castro:
Sir, I shall wait upon you through all fortunes.
Alonzo:
And I.
Altea:
And I must needs attend my Mistris.
Leon:
Will you goe Sister?
Altea:
Yes indeed good
Brother,
I have two ties,
mine own bloud,
And my Mistris.
Margarita:
Is she your Sister?
Leon:
Yes indeed good
wife,
And my best Sister,
For she prov’d
so, wench,
When she deceiv’d
you with a loving Husband.
234]
Altea:
I would not deal so truly for a stranger.
Margarita:
Well I could chide
ye,
But it must be
lovingly and like a Sister,
I’le bring
you on your way, and feast ye nobly,
For now I have
an honest heart to love ye,
And then deliver
you to the blue Neptune.
Juan de Castro:
Your colours you
must wear, and wear ’em proudly,
Wear ’em
before the bullet, and in bloud too,
And all the world
shall know
We are Vertues
servants.
Duke of Medina:
And all the
world shall know, a noble mind
Makes women
beautifull, and envie blind.
[Exeunt.
Prologue.
Pleasure attend
ye, and about ye sit
The springs of
mirth, fancy, delight and wit
To stir you up,
do not your looks let fall,
Nor to remembrance
our late errors call,
Because this day
w’ are Spaniards all again,
The story of our
Play, and our Scene Spain:
The errors too,
do not for this cause hate,
Now we present
their wit and not their state.
Nor Ladies be
not angry if you see,
A young fresh
beauty, wanton and too free,
Seek to abuse
her Husband, still ’tis Spain,
No such gross
errors in your Kingdom raign,
W’ are Vesrals
all, and though we blow the fire,
We seldom make
it flame up to desire,
Take no example
neither to begin,
For some by precedent
delight to sin:
Nor blame the
Poet if he slip aside
Sometimes lasciviously
if not too wide.
But hold your
Fanns close, and then smile at ease,
A cruel Scene
did never Lady please.
Nor Gentlemen,
pray be not you displeased,
235] Though we present some men fool’d, some
diseased,
Some drunk, some
mad: we mean not you, you’re free,
We taxe no farther
than our Comedie,
You are our friends,
sit noble then and see.
Epilogue.
Good night our
worthy friends, and may you part
Each with as merry
and as free a heart
As you came hither;
to those noble eyes
That deign to
smile on our poor faculties,
And give a blessing
to our labouring ends,
As we hope many,
to such fortune sends
Their own desires,
wives fair as light as chast;
To those that
live by spight Wives made in hast.
459] APPENDIX
The Dramatis Personae are not given in the quarto of 1640 nor in the 2nd folio. They are as follows:—Duke of Medina. Juan de Castro, Sanchio, Alonzo, Michael Perez, Officers. Leon, Altea’s brother. Cacafogo, a usurer. Lorenzo. Coachman, etc. Margarita. Altea. Estifania. Clara. Three old ladies. Old woman. Maids, etc.
Unless where otherwise stated the following variations are from the quarto of 1640, the title-page of which runs thus:—
Rule a Wife And have a Wife. A Comoedy. Acted by his Majesties Servants. Written by John Fletcher Gent. Oxford, Printed by Leonard Lichfield Printer to the University. Anno 1640.
p. 170,
l.
30. mouth.
p. 171,
l.
14. most subtlest.
l. 18. With yee.
l. 19. them.
l. 38. and often elsewhere] um for ’em.
p. 172,
l.
2. the picke.
p. 173,
l.
22. thank ye.
p. 175,
l.
1. Yes I.
l. 29. Exit.
l. 31. mine ayme.
p. 176,
l.
30. 2nd folio prints] calling. And
p. 178,
l.
10. a starv’d.
l. 22. look’st.
l. 24. 2nd folio misprints] hear.
p. 179,
l.
33. Or any.
p. 182,
ll.
6, etc. Quarto frequently prints 4
for Altea here and in
similar
places.
l. 33. doubty.
p. 183,
l.
2. Has not.
l. 3. 2nd folio misprints] hin.
l. 5. Has no.
l. 38. 2nd folio misprints] compaines.
p. 184,
l.
13. a house.
p. 185,
l.
2. Altea, the Ladies.
l. 4. has been.
p. 187,
l.
26. I finde.
p. 189,
l.
28. enter’d here.
l. 39. salute him.
p. 190,
l.
25. if she.
p. 194,
ll.
8 and 11. Omits Lady here and often similarly
elsewhere.
p. 196,
l.
26. Exit.
p. 197,
l.
20. basinesse.
460]
p. 198,
l.
29. (some copies), and ruine too.
l. 32. have meaner.
l. 39. 2nd folio misprints] Jaun.
p. 200,
l.
8. Some copies read] laugh him, leave ager.
p. 201,
l.
2. Adds the following line] It is a Ladies,
what’s the Ladies
name
wench.
l. 6. a the.
l. 23. they are.
l. 38. flea me.
p. 202,
l.
27. Nor I.
l. 28. Omits of.
p. 203,
l.
13. Tas.
l. 17. as ere I looked on.
p. 204,
l.
20. Both into.
l.
37. Adds the following line] And hold it to
my use, the law
allowes
it,
p. 206,
l.
38. I have seen.
p. 207,
l.
3. Save.
l. 29. Is possest.
p. 208,
l.
1. a your.
l. 17. bless ye.
p. 209,
l.
5. believe ye.
l. 6. Pray ye.
l. 12. after ye.
l. 18. forgot ye.
l. 34. vild, vild.
p. 210,
l.
15. 2nd folio] do brave, Captain.
p. 211,
l.
10. 2nd folio misprints] Ptithee.
l. 23. put your fury up, Sir.
l. 32. colt ye.
l. 33. teach ye.
p. 212,
l.
22. on, it looked so.
l. 30. Pray ye.
p. 213,
l.
39. heere Don Juan.
p. 214,
l.
30. ’Tas.
l. 33. Omits do.
p. 215,
l.
21. all sit.
l. 28. Has.
p. 216,
l.
22. 2nd folio misprints] thinks.
l. 31. I goe alas.
l. 38. linnens.
p. 220,
l.
1. Has.
l. 21. I use.
p. 223,
l.
10. 2nd folio misprints] Perox.
l. 14. 2nd folio misprints] haugh.
p. 227,
l.
12. 2nd folio] Dagge.
l. 24. Nor never.
p. 228,
l.
17. 2nd folio misprints] millius.
ll. 18 and 19. pawn’d um.
p. 230,
l.
17. A that.
p. 231,
l.
16. too Templers.
l. 35. 2nd folio misprints] deah.
p. 234,
l.
25. raignes.
l. 12. Adds Finis.
l. 24. abuse your.
l. 29. president.