Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 26, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 33 pages of information about Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 26, 1892.

Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 26, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 33 pages of information about Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 26, 1892.

Now, then, what did he leisurely proceed to do?  There’s a fortune in it!—­somewhere!—­says

THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  STUDIES IN ANIMAL LIFE.

THE GOORMONG. (EPICURI DE GREGE PORCUS.  BRITISH ISLES.)

Mr. Huggins.WHAT A ’EAVENLY DINNER IT WAS!”

Mr. Buggins. “B’LIEVE YER!  MYKES YER WISH YER WAS BORN ’OLLER!”]

* * * * *

SPRING TIME IN LEAP YEAR;

OR, THE JOLLY BATHERS.

First Jolly Bather (singing, quaveringly):—­
        Spring’s delights are now revi-i-i-vi-i-i-ng,
          Verdant leaflets deck each spr-a-ay!

Second Jolly Bather (impatiently). Don’t, ARTHUR, make that row!  B-r-r-r! (Shivers.) Spring’s delights, indeed!  And as to the “verdant leaflets” (unless you mean election squibs), where are they?

First Ditto. Ah, “verdant leaflets” not a bad name for Financial Reform tracts, et id genus omne.  Touch of your old satirical Saturday-Reviewish style there, Nunky!

Second Ditto (hastily).  Oh, bother!  What are we here for?

First Ditto (coolly).  Why, to bathe, I presume.

Second Ditto. Bah!  One would think, ARTHUR, we belonged to that society of lunatics who make a point of taking a matutinal plunge in the Serpentine every morning, all the year round, even if they have to break the ice to do it!  Ineffable idiots! [Curls up.

First Ditto. Well, we may as well put a good face on it, Uncle.

    [Grimaces.

Second Ditto.  Ah, yes, you can say so—­at your age, ARTHUR.  I like my morning tub in my bath-room—­with the chill off.

    [Wraps his towel round his neck.

First Ditto. (Sings again, tremolo):—­
        Why linger shivering on the brink,
          And fear to launch away?

Second Ditto (sharply).  Why, you’re at it again, ARTHUR!  And a Conventicler’s hymn, too, this time.  I’m a-a-shamed of you.

First Ditto.  Ah! that’s what LABOUCHERE, O’KELLY, CONYBEARE, and Company say! I don’t mind; in fact, as I told ’em, I rather like it.  Does me a world of good.

Second Ditto (admiringly).  Ah! you have got a nerve, ARTHUR.  I will say that for you.  Still, you’ve been giving them something to “guy” you about lately, you know.

First Ditto (sharply).  Ah! have I?  Well, “I can assure you that I am the last person in the world to object to a process from which I have profited so much.”

Second Ditto.  Oh, yes, that was all very well for them, over yonder.  In fact, I own it was rather neatly put.

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Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 26, 1892 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.