On buttered rye spread cream cheese, and on this bed lay thinly sliced dried beef.  In place of mustard dot the beef with horseradish and pearl onions or those reliable old chopped chives.  And by the way, if you must use mustard on every cheese sandwich, try different kinds for a change:  sharp English freshly mixed by your own hand out of the tin of powder, or Dijon for a French touch.

U Unusual Sandwich—­of Flowers, Hay and Clover

On a sweet-buttered slice of French white bread lay a layer of equally sweet English Flower cheese (made with petals of rose, marigold, violet, etc.) and top that with French Fromage de foin.  This French hay cheese gets its name from being ripened on hay and holds its new-mown scent.  Sprinkle on a few imported capers (the smaller they are, the better), with a little of the luscious juice, and dust lightly with Sapsago.

V Vegetarian Sandwich

Roll your own of alternate leaves of lettuce, slices of store cheese, avocados, cream cheese sprinkled heavily with chopped chives, and anything else in the Vegetable or Caseous Kingdoms that suits your fancy.

W Witch’s Sandwich

Butter 2 slices of sandwich bread, cover one with a thin slice of imported Emmentaler, dash with cayenne and a drop or two of tabasco.  Slap on a sizzling hot slice of grilled ham and press it together with the cheese between the two bread slices, put in a hot oven and serve piping hot with a handful of “moonstones”—­those outsize pearl onions.

X Xochomilco Sandwich

In spite of the “milco” in Xochomilco, there isn’t a drop to be had that’s native to the festive, floating gardens near Mexico City.  For there, instead of the cow, a sort of century plant gives milky white pulque, the fermented juice of this cactuslike desert plant.  With this goes a vegetable cheese curded by its own vegetable rennet.  It’s called tuna cheese, made from the milky juice of the prickly pear that grows on yet another cactuslike plant of the dry lands.  This tuna cheese sometimes teams up in arid lands with the juicy thick cactus leaf sliced into a tortilla sandwich.  The milky pulque of Xochomilco goes as well with it as beer with a Swiss cheese sandwich.

 Y Yolk Picnic Sandwich

     Hard-cooked egg yolk worked into a yellow paste with cream
     cheese, mustard, olive oil, lemon juice, celery salt and a touch
     of tabasco, spread on thick slices of whole wheat bread.

Z Zebra

Take a tip from Oskar over in Copenhagen and design your own Zebra sandwich as decoratively as one of those oft-photoed skins in El Morocco.  Just alternate stripes of black bread with various white cheeses in between, to follow, the black and white zebra pattern.

For good measure we will toss in a couple of toasted cheese sandwiches.