The 30,000 Dollar Bequest and Other Stories eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 282 pages of information about The 30,000 Dollar Bequest and Other Stories.

After the Fall

When I look back, the Garden is a dream to me.  It was beautiful, surpassingly beautiful, enchantingly beautiful; and now it is lost, and I shall not see it any more.

The Garden is lost, but I have found him, and am content.  He loves me as well as he can; I love him with all the strength of my passionate nature, and this, I think, is proper to my youth and sex.  If I ask myself why I love him, I find I do not know, and do not really much care to know; so I suppose that this kind of love is not a product of reasoning and statistics, like one’s love for other reptiles and animals.  I think that this must be so.  I love certain birds because of their song; but I do not love Adam on account of his singing—­no, it is not that; the more he sings the more I do not get reconciled to it.  Yet I ask him to sing, because I wish to learn to like everything he is interested in.  I am sure I can learn, because at first I could not stand it, but now I can.  It sours the milk, but it doesn’t matter; I can get used to that kind of milk.

It is not on account of his brightness that I love him—­no, it is not that.  He is not to blame for his brightness, such as it is, for he did not make it himself; he is as God make him, and that is sufficient.  There was a wise purpose in it, that I know.  In time it will develop, though I think it will not be sudden; and besides, there is no hurry; he is well enough just as he is.

It is not on account of his gracious and considerate ways and his delicacy that I love him.  No, he has lacks in this regard, but he is well enough just so, and is improving.

It is not on account of his industry that I love him—­no, it is not that.  I think he has it in him, and I do not know why he conceals it from me.  It is my only pain.  Otherwise he is frank and open with me, now.  I am sure he keeps nothing from me but this.  It grieves me that he should have a secret from me, and sometimes it spoils my sleep, thinking of it, but I will put it out of my mind; it shall not trouble my happiness, which is otherwise full to overflowing.

It is not on account of his education that I love him—­no, it is not that.  He is self-educated, and does really know a multitude of things, but they are not so.

It is not on account of his chivalry that I love him—­no, it is not that.  He told on me, but I do not blame him; it is a peculiarity of sex, I think, and he did not make his sex.  Of course I would not have told on him, I would have perished first; but that is a peculiarity of sex, too, and I do not take credit for it, for I did not make my sex.

Then why is it that I love him?  Merely because he is masculine, I think.

At bottom he is good, and I love him for that, but I could love him without it.  If he should beat me and abuse me, I should go on loving him.  I know it.  It is a matter of sex, I think.

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Project Gutenberg
The 30,000 Dollar Bequest and Other Stories from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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