let himself down the kitchen chimney by a rope made
of his bedding cut into strips; and as Mr. Pumblechook
was very positive and drove his own chaise-cart —
over everybody — it was agreed that it must
be so. Mr. Wopsle, indeed, wildly cried out
“No!” with the feeble malice of a tired
man; but, as he had no theory, and no coat on, he
was unanimously set at nought — not to mention
his smoking hard behind, as he stood with his back
to the kitchen fire to draw the damp out: which
was not calculated to inspire confidence.
This was all I heard that night before my sister clutched
me, as a slumberous offence to the company’s
eyesight, and assisted me up to bed with such a strong
hand that I seemed to have fifty boots on, and to
be dangling them all against the edges of the stairs.
My state of mind, as I have described it, began before
I was up in the morning, and lasted long after the
subject had died out, and had ceased to be mentioned
saving on exceptional occasions.
Chapter 7
At the time when I stood in the churchyard, reading
the family tombstones, I had just enough learning
to be able to spell them out. My construction
even of their simple meaning was not very correct,
for I read “wife of the Above” as a complimentary
reference to my father’s exaltation to a better
world; and if any one of my deceased relations had
been referred to as “Below,” I have no
doubt I should have formed the worst opinions of that
member of the family. Neither, were my notions
of the theological positions to which my Catechism
bound me, at all accurate; for, I have a lively remembrance
that I supposed my declaration that I was to “walk
in the same all the days of my life,” laid me
under an obligation always to go through the village
from our house in one particular direction, and never
to vary it by turning down by the wheelwright’s
or up by the mill.
When I was old enough, I was to be apprenticed to
Joe, and until I could assume that dignity I was not
to be what Mrs. Joe called “Pompeyed,”
or (as I render it) pampered. Therefore, I was
not only odd-boy about the forge, but if any neighbour
happened to want an extra boy to frighten birds, or
pick up stones, or do any such job, I was favoured
with the employment. In order, however, that
our superior position might not be compromised thereby,
a money-box was kept on the kitchen mantel-shelf,
in to which it was publicly made known that all my
earnings were dropped. I have an impression that
they were to be contributed eventually towards the
liquidation of the National Debt, but I know I had
no hope of any personal participation in the treasure.
