The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from Men eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 40 pages of information about The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony.

Answer to the Fourteenth Mock Comfort.

’Tis true, a Widow always knows the best,
To judge those Joys, which some do call a Jest. 
And if her Second Mate prove weak and dull,
With Sorrow then be sure her Heart is full. 
And who can blame her, if she makes Complaint,
For that sweet Comfort to supply her want. 
Well may she grieve at such a Cross as this,
For that one Fault makes all things go amiss. 
If Husband wants what Widows Nature crave     }
He’d better be condemn’d to be a Slave,       }
Or make the Raging Sea his Watry Grave.       }
But if she finds her Pleasures to encrease,
Oh! then (my Husband) how we live in Peace. 
She’s then all Charms, no Comforts here below,
Are like what she and her dear Spouse do know.

Answer to the Fifteenth Mock Comfort.

       A Peevish Husband makes a peevish Wife,
       And so brings Scandal on a Married Life. 
       No wonder then if Sickness and Disease,
       Brought on by Crosses, doth the Body seize. 
       All this is owing to a hair-brain’d Man,
       Whose base ill nature all the strife began. 
       Then why shou’d Women thus be stil’d a Curse? 
       When Man himself perhaps is ten times worse. 
       Perhaps you’ll say this is proposterous,
       In blaming others I my self expose. 
       I Answer thus, if it was not for shame,
       I’d this same Minute quite disown the Name. 
       For Men like you, their Names do sound no more,
       Than if you call’d an Honest Woman Whore.


* * * * *


At the Pastry-School, over against the Compter in Shovel-Ally in Wood-street, near Cheapside; is Sold, a never failing Oyntment that Cures the GOUT, altho the Party be reduced to his Crutches,and that in two or three Days time; having often been found True by Experience, to the great Ease and Comfort of many:  It also Cures Rheumatick Pains.  Likewise a Cure for the Tooth-Ach, which Infallibly Cures without Drawing.

* * * * *

The Fifteen


The Pleasures of a Town-Life.

Dedicated to the Youth of the
present Age.

By the Author of the Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony.

Printed in the YEAR, 1706.


I am in a little pain lest the Title shou’d give Offence to some, whom I am unwilling to disoblige; yet I hope be more Judicious, when they see the design will allow it both their Pardon and Approbation:  for ’tis more than a little odds, had I call’d it the Fifteen Plagues of Whoring, whether the young Gentlemen most concerned in it, would have given themselves the trouble to peruse it.  As they are Children in their Actions, they must be dealt with like Children, and have their Horn-books Gi[*?]ou the back.  This is all the Apology I have to make; which I hope the Moral will explain, and supply all else that might be said upon that Head.  Among all other Debaucheries, as the principal, and leading Vice, I shall begin with Whoring.

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The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from Men from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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