Peter.  Oppose what?

Looe.  The burial in the Abbey.  I shall advise Lady Leonard Alcar—­

Peter.  No use, Father.  Take my word.  The governor’s made up his mind.  He’s been fearfully keen on art lately.  I don’t know why.  We were in front of everybody else with the news of Ilam Carve’s death, and the governor’s making a regular pet of him.  He says it’s quite time we buried an artist in Westminster Abbey, and he’s given instructions to the whole team.  Didn’t you see the Mercury this morning?  Anybody who opposes a national funeral for Ilam Carve will be up against the governor.  Of course, I tell you that as a friend—­confidentially.

Looe. (Shaken.) Well, I shall see what Lady Leonard says.

Carve. (Rising in an angry, scornful outburst.) You’d bury him in Westminster Abbey because he’s a philanthropist, not because he’s an artist.  That’s England all over....  Well, I’m hanged if I’ll have it.

Looe.  But, my dear sir——­

Carve.  And I tell you another thing—­he’s not dead.

Peter.  Not dead—­what next?

Carve.  I am Ilam Carve.

Honoria. (Soothingly.) Poor dear!  He’s not himself.

Carve.  That’s just what I am. (Sinks back exhausted.)

Peter. (Aside to Looe.) Is he mad, Father?  Nothing but a clerk after all.  And yet he takes a private room at the Grand Babylon, and then he refuses a hundred and fifty of the best and goes on like this.  And now, blessed if he isn’t Ilam Carve! (Laughs.)

Looe.  I really think we ought to leave.

Honoria. (To Janet.) He’s a little unhinged!  But how charming he is.

Janet. (Prudently resenting HONORIA’S interest in carve.) Yes, he’s a little unhinged.  And who wouldn’t be?

Peter.  Got ’em—­if you ask me! (Moving to leave.)

Looe. (Moving to leave.) Honoria.

Janet. (Very soothingly and humouringly to carve.) So this is what you call being shy!

Carve. (To Janet, who is now bending over him.) It must be stopped.

Janet. (As the others go out; humouring him.) Yes, yes! (Absently in reply to bows and adieux of Looe, Honoria, and Peter Horning.) Good morning! (When they are gone, with a sigh of relief.) Well, it is a mighty queer place!  My word, how cold your hands are! (Going quickly to telephone and speaking into telephone.) Please send up two hot-water bottles at once.  Yes, hot-water bottles.  Never heard of a hot-water bottle before?

     The Stage is darkened for a few moments to indicate the passage of
     time.

SCENE 2

Time.—­Afternoon, four days later.

     Janet is dozing in an easy-chair.  Enter carve in his
     dressing-gown.