This Charlotte is a great coward.  But I dare not tell her so, for fear of a retort.  I believe I should be as great a one in her circumstances, so few hours to one of the greatest events of one’s life!  But I pretend not to bravery:  yet hope, that in the cause of virtue or honour I should be found to have a soul.

I write now at my cousin’s.  I came hither to make an alteration in my dress.  I have promised to be with the sweet Bully early in the morning of her important day.

LETTER XX

Miss Byron.—­In continuation
Tuesday night, | April 11, 12. 
Wednesday morning,|

Miss Grandison is no longer to be called by that name.  She is Lady G——.  May she make Lord G——­ as happy as I dare say he will make her, if it be not her own fault!

I was early with her, according to promise.  I found her more affected than she was even last night with her approaching change of condition.  Her brother had been talking to her, she said; and had laid down the duties of the state she was about to enter into, in such a serious manner, and made the performance of them of so much importance to her happiness both here and hereafter, that she was terrified at the thoughts of what she was about to undertake.  She had never considered matrimony in that formidable light before.  He had told her, that he was afraid of her vivacity; yet was loath to discourage her cheerfulness, or to say any thing that should lower her spirits.  All he besought of her was, to regard times, tempers, and occasions; and then it would be impossible but her lively humour must give delight not only to the man whom she favoured with her hand, but to every one who had the pleasure of approaching her.  If, Charlotte, said he, you would have the world around you respect your husband, you must set the example.  While the wife gives the least room to suspect, that she despises her husband, she will find that she subjects him to double contempt, if he resents it not; and if he does, can you be happy?  Aggressors lay themselves open to severe reprisals.  If you differ, you will be apt to make by-standers judges over you.  They will remember, when you are willing to forget; and your fame will be the sport of those beneath you, as well in understanding as degree.

She believed, she told me, that Lord G——­ had been making some complaints of her.  If he had—­

Hush, my dear, said I—­Not one word of threatening:  are you more solicitous to conceal your fault, than to amend it?

No—­But you know, Harriet, for a man, before he has experienced what sort of a wife I shall make, to complain against me for foibles in courtship, when he can help himself if he will, has something so very little—­

Your conscience, Charlotte, tells you, that he had reason for complaint; and therefore you think he has complained.  Think the best of Lord G——­ for your own reputation’s sake, since you thought fit to go thus far with him.  You have borne nothing from him:  he has borne a great deal from you.