“‘Do ye’er worst,’ says Jools, proudly.

“‘Thin,’ says th’ gin’ral, imprissively, ’if these measures do not suffice, I will suspind th’ deliv’ry iv th’ mails,’ he says.

“‘Miscreant!’ cries Jools, tur-rnin’ white.  ‘An’ this is called a merciful governmint,’ he says.  ‘Mong doo,’ he says, ’what cr-rimes will not Fr-rinchmen commit again’ Fr-rinchmen!’ he says.  ‘But,’ he says, ‘ye little know us, if ye think we can be quelled be vi’lence,’ he says.  ‘I have a last card,’ he says.  ‘I refuse to give th’ signal,’ he says.

“‘Thin,’ says th’ gin’ral, tur-rnin’ away with tears in his eyes, ’we must adopt other measures.’

“‘Very well,’ says Jools.  ’But mark wan thing,—­that, if ye attempt to make me ridiculous, ye shall suffer.’

“‘I assure ye, mong editor,’ says th’ gin’ral, earnestly, ‘that th’ governmint will not make ye anny more ridiculous than it makes itsilf,’ says he.

“‘Me honor is satisfied,’ says Jools.  ‘Do ye’er worst,’ he says.

“At eight o’clock th’ minister iv war ar-rived, an’ took command.  He ordhered up twinty rig’mints iv cav’lry, tin batthries iv artillery, an’ two divisions iv fut sojers.  It was his intintion to sind th’ cav’lry in over th’ roofs, while th’ army carried th’ front stoop, protected be fire fr’m th’ heavy artillery, while th’ Fr-rinch navy shelled th’ back dure.  But this was seen to be impossible, because th’ man that owned th’ wine-shop next dure, he said ’twud dhrive away custom.  All th’ sthreets f’r miles ar-round was blockaded without effect.  Th’ fire departmint was called to put Jools out, but wather niver touched him.  Th’ sewer gang wint down an’ blocked th’ dhrains, an’ Jools soon had inspiration f’r a year’s writin’.  At last accounts th’ garrison was still holdin’ out bravely again a witherin’ fire iv canned food, lobsters, omelets, an’ hams.  A brave gossoon in th’ Sivinth Artill’ry did partic’larly effective wurruk, hur-rlin’ a plate iv scrambled eggs acrost th’ sthreet without spillin’ a dhrop, an’ is now thrainin’ a pie like mother used to make on th’ first windy iv th’ sicond flure.  It is reported that th’ minister iv war at four o’clock to-morrow mornin’ will dhrop a bundle iv copies iv Jools’ paper through th’ chimbley.  Whin he opens th’ windy, a pome be Paul Deroulede ‘ll be read to him.  This is again th’ articles iv war, but th’ case is desp’rate.

“But I was thinkin’, Hinnissy, as I walked down th’ Roo Chabrool, how I’d like to see a Chicago polisman come sthrollin’ along with his hat on th’ back iv his head.  I don’t love Chicago polismen.  They seem to think ivry man’s head’s as hard as their own.  But I’d give forty-three francs, or eight dollars an’ sixty cints iv our money, if th’ Fr-rinch governmint ‘d sind f’r Jawnny Shea, an’ ask him to put down this here rivolution.  Th’ nex’ day they’d move th’ office iv th’ Anti-Seemite Society to th’ morgue.”

THE DREYFUS CASE.