“‘Gintlemen iv Fr-rance,’ says Colonel Peekhart.  ’Unaccustomed as I am to public speakin’, I wish to addhress ye a few wurruds on th’ situation iv th’ poor in China.’

“‘Assassin!’ hisses th’ coort.

“‘Canal!’ says Matther Blamange.

“At this moment th’ door was burst open; an’ an ex-Prisident iv Fr-rance come boundin’ in, an’, r-rushin’ up th’ steps iv th’ thrybune, smacked Gin’ral Merceer in th’ eye.  Th’ gr-reatest rayspict was shown f’r th’ former chief magistrate iv th’ raypublic.  No wan shot at him.  He was white with rage.  ‘Th’ honor iv Fr-rance is at stake,’ he says.  ‘Our counthry lies prostrate in th’ mud.  I must presarve th’ dignity iv me high office; but, if Gin’ral Merceer will step out into th’ back yard, I’ll beat his head off.  I don’t know annything about this accursed case.  It was all referred to me whin I was Prisident.  I am here to see that th’ honor iv me high office is not assailed.  I protest I did not say what an anonymous corryspondint in to-night’s Sore says I said.  I did me jooty.  Whin I saw th’ ar-rmy disorganized an’ Fr-rance beset be foreign foes, I raysigned.  What was I to do?  Was I to stay in office, an’ have me hat smashed in ivry time I wint out to walk?  I tell ye, gintlemen, that office is no signcure.  Until hats are made iv cast iron, no poor man can be Prisident iv Fr-rance.  But I was not speakin’ iv th’ Dhryfuss case.’

“‘Don’t dare to mintion that matter in this coort,’ says th’ prisident.  ’I’m surprised a man iv ye’er intilligence ’d thry to dhrag in exthranyous matther, whin th’ honor iv th’ ar-rmy is at stake.  Gin’ral Merceer, stand beside this witness.  Now both speak at wanst!  Annybody else that has annything to say, lave him say it now, so it won’t be heard.’

“‘Mon colonel,’ says a former minister iv th’ Fr-rinch governmint, who was th’ polisman at th’ dure, ‘Judge Crazy th’ Boorepare is here, demandin’ to be heard.’

“‘Gr-reat hivins!’ says th’ coort; an’ they wint out through th’ windows.

“That night they was gr-reat excitement in Rennes.  Th’ citizens dhrivin home their cows cud har’ly make their way through th’ excited throngs on th’ sthreet.  Th’ corryspondints iv th’ English papers do not dare to go to bed befure nine o’clock on account iv rumors iv a gin’ral massacre.  Madame Sara Bernhardt gave a magnificint performance at th’ theaytre, an’ was wildly cheered.  It was believed in London, Budapesth, Posen, New York, Cookham, an’ Upper Sandusky that Fr-rance is about to perish.  As I go to press, th’ news has excited no commint in Fr-rance.”

THE DREYFUS CASE.

III.