“Th’ ceremony was brief, but intherestin’.  Th’ happy father foorced his way through dimon’ stomachers; an’ they was tears in his eyes as he handed th’ clargyman, whose name was Murphy,—­but he carried himsilf as well as if he was used to it,—­handed him a check f’r tin millyion dollars.  I don’t blame him.  Divvle th’ bit!  Me own hear-rt is har-rd an’ me eyes ar-re dhry, but I’d break down if I had to hand anny wan that much.  ‘I suppose th’ check is good,’ says th’ clargyman, ‘’Tis certified,’ says th’ weepin’ father.  ‘Do ye take this check,’ says th’ clargyman, ‘to have an’ to hold, until some wan parts ye fr’m it?’ he says.  ‘I do,’ says th’ young man.  ‘Thin,’ says th’ clargyman, ‘I see no reason why ye shudden’t be marrid an’ live comfortable,’ he says.  An’ marrid they were, in th’ same ol’ foolish way that people’s been marrid in f’r cinchries.  ‘Tis a wondher to me th’ ceremony ain’t changed.  Th’ time is comin’, Hinnissy, whin millyionaires ’ll not be marrid be Father Murphy, but be th’ gov’nors iv th’ stock exchange.  They’ll be put through th’ clearin’ house, me faith, an’ securities ‘ll be issued be th’ combination.  Twinty-year, goold-secured, four per cint bonds iv mathrimony!  Aha, ’tis a joke that Chansy Depoo might ’ve med!

“Th’ crowd outside waited, cheerin’ an’ fightin’ th’ polis.  In this here land iv liberty an’ akequality, Hinnissy, ivry man is as good as ivry other man, except a polisman.  An’ it showed how thrue th’ people in New York is to th’ thraditions iv Jefferson that divvle a wan iv thim ‘d move away till th’ check ‘d been passed fr’m father to son, an’ th’ important part iv th’ sacred ceremony was over.  Thin a few iv thim wint home to cook dinner f’r their husbands, who was previnted be their jooties at th’ gas-house fr’m attindin’ th’ function.  Th’ rest raymained an’ see th’ two gr-reat fortunes get into their carredge, pursued be th’ guests to th’ amount iv five hundherd millyions, peltin’ thim with seed pearls.”

“Sure,” said Mr. Hennessy, “mebbe ‘twasn’t as bad as th’ pa-apers let on.  Ye can’t always thrust thim.”

“P’rhaps not,” said Mr. Dooley.  “Th’ pa-apers say, ’Two gr-reat fortunes united’; an’, if that’s it, they didn’t need th’ sarvices iv a priest, but a lawyer an’ a thrust comp’ny.  P’rhaps, with all th’ certyfied checks, ‘twas two rale people that was marrid; an’, if that’s so, it explains th’ prisince if Father Murphy.”

THE DREYFUS CASE.

I.

“Th’ scene was treemenjously excitin’.  Th’ little city iv Rennes was thronged with des’prit journalists that had pledged their fortunes an’ their sacred honors, an’ manny iv thim their watches, to be prisint an’ protect th’ public again th’ degradin’ facts.  Niver since th’ war in Cubia has so manny iv these brave fellows been gathered together at th’ risk iv their lives fr’m overcrowdin’ th’