“Well, he comes down th’ road tonight afther th’ wind had turned, with his old hat on th’ back iv his head, whistlin’ ‘Th’ Rambler fr’m Clare’ and I stopped to talk with him.  ‘Glory be,’ says I, ’’tis pleasant to breathe th’ cool air,’ says I.  ‘Ah,’ he says, ’’tis a rale good avnin’,’ he says.  ‘D’ye know,’ he says, ’I haven’t slept much these nights, f’r wan reason ‘r another.  But,’ he says, ’I’m afraid this here change won’t be good f’r th’ crops,’ he says.  ’If we’d had wan or two more war-rum days an’ thin a sprinkle iv rain,’ he says, ‘how they would grow, how they would grow!’”

Mr. Dooley sat up in his chair, and looked over at Mr. McKenna.

“Jawn,” he said, “d’ye know that, whin I think iv th’ thoughts that’s been in my head f’r a week, I don’t dare to look Tim Clancy in th’ face.”

PROSPERITY.

“Th’ defeat iv Humanity be Prosperity was wan iv th’ raysults iv th’ iliction,” said Mr. Dooley.

“What are you talking about?” asked Mr. McKenna, gruffly.

“Well,” said Mr. Dooley, “I thought it was McKinley an’ Hobart that won out, but I see now that it’s McKinley an’ Prosperity.  If Bryan had been elected, Humanity would have had a front seat an’ a tab.  Th’ sufferin’s iv all th’ wurruld would have ended; an’ Jawn H. Humanity would be in th’ White House, throwin’ his feet over th’ furniture an’ receivin’ th’ attintions iv diplomats an’ pleeniapotentiaries.  It was decided otherwise be th’ fates, as th’ Good Book says.  Prosperity is th’ bucko now.  Barrin’ a sthrike at th’ stock-yards an’ a hold-up here an’ there, Prosperity has come leapin’ in as if it had jumped fr’m a springboard.  Th’ mills are opened, th’ factories are goin’ to go, th’ railroads are watherin’ stocks, long processions iv workin’men are marchin’ fr’m th’ pay-car to their peaceful saloons, their wives are takin’ in washin’ again, th’ price iv wheat is goin’ up an’ down, creditors are beginnin’ to sue debtors; an’ thus all th’ wurruld is merry with th’ on’y rational enjoyments iv life.

“An’ th’ stock exchange has opened.  That’s wan iv th’ strongest signs iv prosperity.  I min’ wanst whin me frind Mike McDonald was controllin’ th’ city, an’ conductin’ an exchange down be Clark Sthreet.  Th’ game had been goin’ hard again th’ house.  They hadn’t been a split f’r five deals.  Whin ivrybody was on th’ queen to win, with th’ sivin spot coppered, th’ queen won, th’ sivin spot lost.  Wan lad amused himsilf be callin’ th’ turn twinty-wan times in succession, an’ th’ check rack was down to a margin iv eleven whites an’ fifty-three cints in change.  Mike looked around th’ crowd, an’ turned down th’ box.  ‘Gintlemen,’ says he, ‘th’ game is closed.  Business conditions are such,’ he says, ’that I will not be able to cash in ye’er checks,’ he says.  ’Please go out softly, so’s not to disturb th’ gintlemen at th’ roulette wheel,’ he says, ‘an’ come back afther