It does not pay to make fun of the Boob.  There is no malice in him, no insolence, no passion to thrive at the expense of his fellows.  If he sees some one on a street corner gazing open-mouthed at the sky, he will do likewise, and stand there for half hour with his apple of Adam expectantly vibrating.  But is that a shameful trait?  May not a Boob expect to see angels in the shimmering blue of heaven?  Is he more disreputable than the knave who frisks his watch meanwhile?  And suppose he does see an angel, or even only a blue acre of sky—­is that not worth as much as the dial in his poke?

HE SEES THEM

It is the Boob who is always willing to look hopefully for angels who will see them ultimately.  And the man who is only looking for the Boob’s timepiece will do time of his own by and by.

HE BEARS NO MALICE

The Boob is convinced that the world is conducted on genteel and friendly principles.  He feels in his heart that even the law of gravity will do him no harm.  That is why he steps unabashed into our pit on Chestnut Street; and finding himself sprawling in the bottom of it, he bears no ill will to Sir Isaac Newton.  He simply knows that the law of gravity took him for some one else—­a street-cleaning contractor, perhaps.

A DEFINITION

A small boy once defined a Boob as one who always treats other people better than he does himself.

HE IS UNSUSPICIOUS

The Boob is hopeful, cheery, more concerned over other people’s troubles than his own.  He goes serenely unsuspicious of the brick under the silk hat, even when the silk hat is on the head of a Mayor or City Councilman.  He will pull every trigger he meets, regardless that the whole world is loaded and aimed at him.  He will keep on running for the 5:42 train, even though the timetable was changed the day before yesterday.  He goes through the revolving doors the wrong way.  He forgets that the banks close at noon on Saturdays.  He asks for oysters on the first of June.  He will wait for hours at the Chestnut Street door, even though his wife told him to meet her at the ribbon counter.

HIS WIFE

Yes, he has a wife.  But if he was not a Boob before marriage he will never become so after.  Women are the natural antidotes of Boobs.

RECEPTIVE

The Boob is not quarrelsome.  He is willing to believe that you know more about it than he does.  He is always at home for ideas.

HE IS HAPPY

Of course, what bothers other people is that the Boob is so happy.  He enjoys himself.  He falls into that Rapid Transit pit of ours and has more fun out of the tumble than the sneering 26,448 who stand above untumbled.  The happy simp prefers a 4 per cent that pays to a 15 per cent investment that returns only engraved prospectuses.  He stands on that street corner looking for an imaginary angel parachuting down, and enjoys himself more than the Mephistopheles who is laughing up his sleeve.