BY DR. SWIFT

FROM India’s burning clime I’m brought,
With cooling gales like zephyrs fraught. 
Not Iris, when she paints the sky,
Can show more different hues than I;
Nor can she change her form so fast,
I’m now a sail, and now a mast. 
I here am red, and there am green,
A beggar there, and here a queen. 
I sometimes live in house of hair,
And oft in hand of lady fair. 
I please the young, I grace the old,
And am at once both hot and cold. 
Say what I am then, if you can,
And find the rhyme, and you’re the man.

ANSWERED BY DR. SHERIDAN

Your house of hair, and lady’s hand,
At first did put me to a stand. 
I have it now—­’tis plain enough—­
Your hairy business is a muff. 
Your engine fraught with cooling gales,
At once so like your masts and sails;
Your thing of various shape and hue
Must be some painted toy, I knew;
And for the rhyme to you’re the man,
What fits it better than a fan?

A RIDDLE

I’m wealthy and poor,
I’m empty and full,
I’m humble and proud,
I’m witty and dull. 
I’m foul and yet fair: 
I’m old, and yet young;
I lie with Moll Kerr,
And toast Mrs. Long.

ANSWER, BY MR. F——­R

In rigging he’s rich, though in pocket he’s poor,
He cringes to courtiers, and cocks to the cits;
Like twenty he dresses, but looks like threescore;
He’s a wit to the fools, and a fool to the wits. 
Of wisdom he’s empty, but full of conceit;
He paints and perfumes while he rots with the scab;
’Tis a beau you may swear by his sense and his gait;
He boasts of a beauty and lies with a drab.

A LETTER TO DR. HELSHAM

SIR,
  Pray discruciate what follows.

The dullest beast, and gentleman’s liquor,
When young is often due to the vicar,[1]

The dullest of beasts, and swine’s delight,
Make up a bird very swift of flight.[2]

The dullest beast, when high in stature,
And another of royal nature,
For breeding is a useful creature.[3]

The dullest beast, and a party distress’d,
When too long, is bad at best.[4]

The dullest beast, and the saddle it wears,
Is good for partridge, not for hares.[5]

The dullest beast, and kind voice of a cat,
Will make a horse go, though he be not fat.[6]

The dullest of beasts and of birds in the air,
Is that by which all Irishmen swear.[7]

The dullest beast, and famed college for Teagues,
Is a person very unfit for intrigues.[8]

The dullest beast, and a cobbler’s tool,
With a boy that is only fit for school,
In summer is very pleasant and cool.[9]

The dullest beast, and that which you kiss,
May break a limb of master or miss.[10]