One day it happened during the progress of an important trial that a sharp shock of earthquake occurred, throwing the whole assembly into confusion.  When order had been restored a cry of horror and dismay burst from the multitude—­the judge’s head lay flattened upon the floor, a dozen feet below the bench, and from the neck of the rapidly collapsing body, which had pitched forward upon his desk, poured a thick stream of sawdust!  For thirty years that great and good man had been represented by a stuffed manikin.  For thirty years he had not entered his own court, nor heard a word of evidence or argument.  At the moment of the accident to his simulacrum he was in his library at his home, writing his decision of the case on trial, and was killed by a falling chandelier.  It was afterward learned that his clerk, twenty-five years dead, had all the time been personated by a twin brother, who was an idiot from birth and knew no law.

HITHER

Listening to the history of the golden statue in the great square, as related by a Tortirran storyteller, I fell asleep.  On waking I found myself lying in a cot-bed amidst unfamiliar surroundings.  A bandage was fastened obliquely about my head, covering my left eye, in which was a dull throbbing pain.  Seeing an attendant near by I beckoned him to my bedside and asked:  “Where am I?”

“Hospital,” he replied, tersely but not unkindly.  He added:  “You have a bad eye.”  “Yes,” I said, “I always had; but I could name more than one Tortirran who has a bad heart.”

“What is a Tortirran?” he asked.

FOR THE AKHOOND

FOR THE AHKOOND

In the year 4591 I accepted from his gracious Majesty the Ahkoond of Citrusia a commission to explore the unknown region lying to the eastward of the Ultimate Hills, the range which that learned archaeologist, Simeon Tucker, affirms to be identical with the “Rocky Mountains” of the ancients.  For this proof of his Majesty’s favor I was indebted, doubtless, to a certain distinction that I had been fortunate enough to acquire by explorations in the heart of Darkest Europe.  His Majesty kindly offered to raise and equip a large expeditionary force to accompany me, and I was given the widest discretion in the matter of outfit; I could draw upon the royal treasury for any sum that I might require, and upon the royal university for all the scientific apparatus and assistance necessary to my purpose.  Declining these encumbrances, I took my electric rifle and a portable waterproof case containing a few simple instruments and writing materials and set out.  Among the instruments was, of course, an aerial isochronophone which I set by the one in the Ahkoond’s private dining-room at the palace.  His Majesty invariably dined alone at 18 o’clock, and sat at table six hours:  it was my intention to send him all my reports at the hour of 23, just as dessert would be served, and he would be in a proper frame of mind to appreciate my discoveries and my services to the crown.