Barford Abbey eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 210 pages of information about Barford Abbey.

No shadow of gaining over Sir James!—­Efforts has not been wanting:—­I mean efforts to declare my inclination.—­I have follow’d him like a ghost for days past, thinking at every step how I should bless this or that spot on which he consented to my happiness.—­Pleasing phantoms!—­How have they fled at sight of his determin’d countenance!—­Methought I could trace in it the same obduracy which nature vainly pleaded to remove.—­In other matters my heart is resolute;—­here an errant coward.—­No!  I cannot break it to him whilst in Hampshire.—­When I get to town, a letter shall speak for me.—­Sometimes I am tempted to trust the secret to Lady Powis.—­She is compassionate;—­she would even risk her own peace to preserve mine.—­Again the thoughts of involving her in fresh perplexities determines me against it.

Had my father been acquainted with that part of Sir James’s character which concerned his son, I am convinc’d he would have made some restrictions in regard to the explicit obedience he enjoined.—­But all was hushed whilst Mr. Powis continued on his travels; nor, until he settled abroad, did any one suspect there had been a family disagreement:—­even at this time the whole affair is not generally known.—­The name of the lady to whom he was obliged to make proposals, is in particular carefully concealed.—­I, who from ten years old have been bred up with them, am an entire stranger to it.—­Perhaps no part of the affair would ever have transpired, had not Sir James made some discoveries, in the first agitation of his passion, before a large company, when he received an account of Mr. Powis’s being appointed to the government of ——.  No secret can be safe in a breast where every passage is not well guarded against an enemy which, like lightning, throws up all before it.

Let me not forget to tell you, amongst a multiplicity of concerns crowding on my mind, that I have positively deny’d Edmund to intercede with his father regarding the commission.—­A bare surmise that he is my rival, has silenced me.—­Was I ungenerous enough to indulge myself in getting rid of him, an opportunity now offers;—­but I am as averse to such proceedings as he ought to be who is the friend of Molesworth, and writes the name of





Believe me, my dear Lord, I never suspected you capable of designs you justly hold in abhorrence.—­If I expressed myself warmly, it was owing to your keeping from me the knowledge of those particulars which have varied every circumstance.—­I saw my friend a poor restless being, irresolute, full of perplexities.—­I felt for him.—­I rejoice now to find from whence this irresolution, those perplexities arose.—­She is,—­she must,—­by heaven! she shall be yours:—­A reward fit only for such great—­such noble resolutions.

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Barford Abbey from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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