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This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 64 pages of information about If.

MARY

I’ll get a nice bit of something to eat.

JOHN

A thousand thanks to you, madam.

[Exit Mary with the plate.]

Liza [who has been standing near the door all the time]

Well, she’s going to get you something.

JOHN

Heaven reward her.

LIZA

Hungry as all that?

JOHN

I’m on my beam ends.

LIZA

Cheer up!

JOHN

That’s all very well to say, living in a fine house, as you are, dry and warm and well-fed.  But what have I to cheer up about?

LIZA

Isn’t there anything you could pop?

JOHN

What?

LIZA

Nothing you can take to the pawn-shop?  I’ve tided over times I wanted a bit of cash that way sometimes.

JOHN

What could I pawn?

LIZA

Well, well you’ve a watch-chain.

JOHN

A bit of old leather.

LIZA

But what about the watch?

JOHN

I’ve no watch.

LIZA

O, funny having a watch-chain then.

JOHN

O, that’s only for this; it’s a bit of crystal.

LIZA

Funny bit of a thing.  What’s it for?

JOHN

I don’t know.

LIZA

Was it give to you?

JOHN

I don’t know.  I don’t know how I got it.

LIZA

Don’t know how you got it?

JOHN

No, I can’t remember at all.  But I’ve a feeling about it, I can’t explain what I feel; but I don’t part with it.

LIZA

Don’t you?  You might get something on it, likely and have a square meal.

JOHN

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