If: a play in four acts eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 64 pages of information about If.

So you’re not going to marry her?

JOHN BEAL

Marry her!  Good Lord, no.  Why, you’d never dare ask her.  She’s not that sort.  I tell you she’s a sort of queen.  And (Good Lord!) she’d be a queen if it wasn’t for Hussein, or something very like one.  We can’t go marrying queens.  Anyhow, not one like her.

ARCHIE BEAL

Why not one like her?

JOHN BEAL

I tell you—­she’s a—­well, a kind of goddess.  You couldn’t ask her if she loved you.  It would be such, such . . .

ARCHIE BEAL

Such what?

JOHN BEAL

Such infernal cheek.

ARCHIE BEAL

I see.  Well, I see you aren’t in love with her.  But it seems to me you’ll be seeing a good deal of her some day if we pull this off.  And then, my boy-o, you’ll be going and getting in love with her.

JOHN BEAL

I tell you I daren’t.  I’d as soon propose to the Queen of Sheba.

ARCHIE BEAL

Well, Johnny, I’m going to protect you from her all I can.

JOHN BEAL

Protect me from her?  Why?

ARCHIE BEAL

Why, because there’s lots of other girls and it seems to me you might be happier with some of them.

JOHN BEAL

But you haven’t even seen her.

ARCHIE BEAL

Nor I have.  Still, if I’m here to protect you I somehow think I will.  And if I’m not . . .

JOHN BEAL

Well, and what then?

ARCHIE BEAL

What nonsense I’m talking.  Fate does everything.  I can’t protect you.

JOHN BEAL

Yes, it’s nonsense all right, Archie, but . . .

Hussein [off]

I am here.

JOHN BEAL

Be seen.

[Hussein enters.  He is not unlike Bluebeard.]

John Beal [pointing to Archie]
My brother.

[Archie shakes hands with HusseinHussein looks at his hand when it is over in a puzzled way.  John Beal and Hussein then bow to each other.]

HUSSEIN

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Project Gutenberg
If: a play in four acts from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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