If: a play in four acts eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 64 pages of information about If.

Er—­certainly. [Meaning he does not mind.  He opens the window.]

MIRALDA CLEMENT

Thank you so much.

MAN IN THE CORNER

Not at all. [He does not mean to contradict her.  Stoical silence again.]

MIRALDA CLEMENT

Would you mind having it shut now?  I think it is rather cold.

MAN IN THE CORNER

Certainly.

[He shuts it.  Silence again.]

MIRALDA CLEMENT

I think I’d like the window open again now for a bit.  It is rather stuffy, isn’t it?

MAN IN THE CORNER

Well, I think it’s very cold.

MIRALDA CLEMENT

O, do you?  But would you mind opening it for me?

MAN IN THE CORNER

I’d much rather it was shut, if you don’t mind.

[She sighs, moves her hands slightly, and her pretty face expresses the resignation of the Christian martyr in the presence of lions.  This for the benefit of John.]

JOHN

Allow me, madam.

[He leans across the window’s rightful owner, a bigger man than he, and opens his window.

Man in the corner shrugs his shoulders and, quite sensibly, turns to his paper.]

MIRALDA

O, thank you so much.

JOHN

Don’t mention it.

[Silence again.]

Voices of porters [Off]

Fan Kar, Fan Kar.

[Man in the corner gets out.]

MIRALDA

Could you tell me where this is?

JOHN

Yes.  Elephant and Castle.

MIRALDA

Thank you so much.  It was kind of you to protect me from that horrid man.  He wanted to suffocate me.

JOHN

O, very glad to assist you, I’m sure.  Very glad.

MIRALDA

I should have been afraid to have done it in spite of him.  It was splendid of you.

JOHN

O, that was nothing.

MIRALDA

O, it was, really.

JOHN

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Project Gutenberg
If: a play in four acts from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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