(St. John discovers himself.)
          What, you?

ST. JOHN: 

Aye, Madam, I’ll
Swap souls with you and lead the cold sea-green
Amphibians of Prohibition on,
Pallid of nose and webbed of foot, swim-bladdered,
Gifted with gills, invincible!

MRS. HAYES: 

Enough,
Stand forth and consummate the interchange.

(While McDonald and Pitts-Stevens modestly turn their backs, the latter blushing a delicate shrimp-pink, St. John and Mrs. Hayes effect an exchange of immortal parts.  When the transfer is complete McDonald turns and advances, uncorking a bottle of Vinegar Bitters.)

MCDONALD (chanting): 

    Nectar compounded of simples
      Cocted in Stygian shades—­
    Acids of wrinkles and pimples
      From faces of ancient maids—­
    Acrid precipitates sunken
      From tempers of scolding wives
    Whose husbands, uncommonly drunken,
      Are commonly found in dives,—­
    With this I baptize and appoint thee
                                        (to St. John.)
      To marshal the vinophobe ranks. 
    In the name of Dambosh I anoint thee
                   (pours the liquid down St. John’s back.)
      As King of aquatical cranks!

(The liquid blisters the royal back, and His Majesty starts on a dead run, energetically exclaiming.  Exit St. John.)

MRS. HAYES: 

My soul!  My soul!  I’ll never get it back
Unless I follow nimbly on his track.
                                  (Exit Mrs. Hayes.)

PITTS-STEVENS: 

O my! he’s such a beautiful young man! 
I’ll follow, too, and catch him if I can.
                                     (Exit Pitts-Stevens.)

MCDONALD: 

He scarce is visible, his dust so great! 
Methinks for so obscure a candidate
He runs quite well.  But as for Prohibition—­
I mean myself to hold the first position.

(Produces a pocket flask, topes a cruel quantity of double-distilled thunder-and-lightning out of it, smiles so grimly as to darken all the stage and sings): 

Though fortunes vary let all be merry,
And then if e’er a disaster befall,
At Styx’s ferry is Charon’s wherry
In easy call.

Upon a ripple of golden tipple
That tipsy ship’ll convey you best. 
To king and cripple, the bottle’s the nipple
Of Nature’s breast!

(Curtain.)

SLICKENS

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

HAYSEED                                          a Granger
NOZZLE                                             a Miner
RINGDIVVY                                      a Statesman
FEEGOBBLE                                         a Lawyer
JUNKET                                         a Committee

Scene—­Yuba Dam.