Title:  Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 100., Jan. 10, 1891

Author:  Various

Release Date:  July 19, 2004 [EBook #12951]

Language:  English

Character set encoding:  ASCII

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PUNCH,

Or the London charivari.

Vol. 100.

January 10, 1891.

MR. PUNCH’S PRIZE NOVELS.

No.  X.—­The FONDMAN.

(BY CALLED ABEL, AUTHOR OF “THE TEAMSTER.")

[The eminent Author writes to us as follows:—­“How’s this for a Saga?  Do you know what a Saga is?  Nor do I, but this is one in spite of what anybody may say.  History be blowed!  Who cares about history?  Mix up your dates and your incidents, and fill up with any amount of simple human passions.  Then you’ll get a Saga?  After that you can write a Proem and an Epilogue.  They must have absolutely nothing to do with the story, but you can put in some Northern legends, and a tale about Mahomet (by the way, I’ve written a play about him) which are bound to tell, though, of course, you were not bound to tell them.  Ha, ha! who talked about thunderstorms, and passions, and powers and emotions, and sulphur-mines, and heartless Governors, and wicked brothers?  Read on, my bonny boy. Vous m’en direz des nouvelles, but don’t call this a novel.  It’s a right-down regular Saga.”—­C.A.]

The book of STIFFUN Orrors.

CHAPTER I.

[Illustration:  The Characters Personally-Conducted by the Author to Reykjavik.]

STIFFUN Orrors was a gigantic fair-haired man, whose muscles were like the great gnarled round heads of a beech-tree.  When a man possesses that particular shape of muscle he is sure to be a hard nut to crack.  And so poor PATRICKSEN found him, merely getting his own wretched back broken for his trouble.  Gorgon GORGONSEN Was Governor of Iceland, and lived at Reykjavik, the capital, which was not only little and hungry, but was also a creeping settlement with a face turned to America.  It was a poor lame place, with its wooden feet in the sea.  Altogether a strange capital.  In the month of Althing gorgon took his daughter to Thingummy-vellir, where there were wrestling matches.  It came to the turn of PATRICKSEN and STIFFUN.  STIFFUN took him with one arm; then, curling one leg round his head and winding the other round his waist, he planted his head in his chest, and crushing his ribs with one hand he gave a mighty heave, and clasping the ground, as with the hoofs of