Cobwebs from an Empty Skull eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 198 pages of information about Cobwebs from an Empty Skull.


“Apparently,” said he, “I have been guilty of some small grains of unconsidered wisdom, and the same have proven a bitterness to these excellent folk, the which they will not abide.  Ah, well! those who produce the Strasburg pate and the feather-pillow are prone to regard us as rival creators.  I presume it is in course of nature for him who grows the pen to censure the manner of its use.”

So speaking, he executed a smile a hand’s-breath in extent, and resumed his airy dream of dropping ducats.


For many years an opossum had anointed his tail with bear’s oil, but it remained stubbornly bald-headed.  At last his patience was exhausted, and he appealed to Bruin himself, accusing him of breaking faith, and calling him a quack.

“Why, you insolent marsupial!” retorted the bear in a rage; “you expect my oil to give you hair upon your tail, when it will not give me even a tail.  Why don’t you try under-draining, or top-dressing with light compost?”

They said and did a good deal more before the opossum withdrew his cold and barren member from consideration; but the judicious fabulist does not encumber his tale with extraneous matter, lest it be pointless.


“So disreputable a lot as you are I never saw!” said a sleepy rat to the casks in a wine-cellar.  “Always making night hideous with your hoops and hollows, and disfiguring the day with your bunged-up appearance.  There is no sleeping when once the wine has got into your heads.  I’ll report you to the butler!”

“The sneaking tale-bearer,” said the casks.  “Let us beat him with our staves.”

Requiescat in pace,” muttered a learned cobweb, sententiously.

“Requires a cat in the place, does it?” shrieked the rat.  “Then I’m off!”

To explain all the wisdom imparted by this fable would require the pen of a pig, and volumes of smoke.


A giraffe having trodden upon the tail of a poodle, that animal flew into a blind rage, and wrestled valorously with the invading foot.

“Hullo, sonny!” said the giraffe, looking down, “what are you doing there?”

“I am fighting!” was the proud reply; “but I don’t know that it is any of your business.”

“Oh, I have no desire to mix in,” said the good-natured giraffe.  “I never take sides in terrestrial strife.  Still, as that is my foot, I think—­”

“Eh!” cried the poodle, backing some distance away and gazing upward, shading his eyes with his paw.  “You don’t mean to say—­by Jove it’s a fact!  Well, that beats me!  A beast of such enormous length—­such preposterous duration, as it were—­I wouldn’t have believed it!  Of course I can’t quarrel with a non-resident; but why don’t you have a local agent on the ground?”

Project Gutenberg
Cobwebs from an Empty Skull from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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