“O Death! the poor man’s dearest friend,
     The kindest and the best! 
     Welcome the hour my aged limbs
     Are laid with thee at rest! 
     The great, the wealthy fear thy blow
     From pomp and pleasure torn;
     But, oh! a blest relief for those
     That weary-laden mourn!”

The Twa Herds; Or, The Holy Tulyie

     An Unco Mournfu’ Tale

     “Blockheads with reason wicked wits abhor,
     But fool with fool is barbarous civil war,”—­Pope.

     O a’ ye pious godly flocks,
     Weel fed on pastures orthodox,
     Wha now will keep you frae the fox,
     Or worrying tykes? 
     Or wha will tent the waifs an’ crocks,
     About the dykes?

     The twa best herds in a’ the wast,
     The e’er ga’e gospel horn a blast
     These five an’ twenty simmers past—­
     Oh, dool to tell! 
     Hae had a bitter black out-cast
     Atween themsel’.

     O, Moddie,^1 man, an’ wordy Russell,^2
     How could you raise so vile a bustle;
     Ye’ll see how New-Light herds will whistle,
     An’ think it fine! 
     The Lord’s cause ne’er gat sic a twistle,
     Sin’ I hae min’.

     O, sirs! whae’er wad hae expeckit
     Your duty ye wad sae negleckit,
     Ye wha were ne’er by lairds respeckit
     To wear the plaid;
     But by the brutes themselves eleckit,
     To be their guide.

     What flock wi’ Moodie’s flock could rank?—­
     Sae hale and hearty every shank! 
     Nae poison’d soor Arminian stank
     He let them taste;
     Frae Calvin’s well, aye clear, drank,—­
     O, sic a feast!

     [Footnote 1:  Rev. Mr. Moodie of Riccarton.]

     [Footnote 2:  Rev. John Russell of Kilmarnock.]

     The thummart, willcat, brock, an’ tod,
     Weel kend his voice thro’ a’ the wood,
     He smell’d their ilka hole an’ road,
     Baith out an in;
     An’ weel he lik’d to shed their bluid,
     An’ sell their skin.

     What herd like Russell tell’d his tale;
     His voice was heard thro’ muir and dale,
     He kenn’d the Lord’s sheep, ilka tail,
     Owre a’ the height;
     An’ saw gin they were sick or hale,
     At the first sight.

     He fine a mangy sheep could scrub,
     Or nobly fling the gospel club,
     And New-Light herds could nicely drub
     Or pay their skin;
     Could shake them o’er the burning dub,
     Or heave them in.

     Sic twa—­O! do I live to see’t?—­
     Sic famous twa should disagree’t,
     And names, like “villain,” “hypocrite,”
     Ilk ither gi’en,
     While New-Light herds, wi’ laughin spite,
     Say neither’s liein!

     A’ ye wha tent the gospel fauld,
     There’s Duncan^3 deep, an’ Peebles^4 shaul,
     But chiefly thou, apostle Auld,^5
     We trust in thee,
     That thou wilt work them, het an’ cauld,
     Till they agree.