closely, for instance, there might be something ominous
in the curious contour of that little mouth.
When, after her first Council, she crossed the ante-room
and found her mother waiting for her, she said, “And
now, Mamma, am I really and truly Queen?” “You
see, my dear, that it is so.” “Then,
dear Mamma, I hope you will grant me the first request
I make to you, as Queen. Let me be by myself
for an hour.” For an hour she remained
in solitude. Then she reappeared, and gave a significant
order: her bed was to be moved out of her mother’s
room. It was the doom of the Duchess of Kent.
The long years of waiting were over at last; the moment
of a lifetime had come; her daughter was Queen of England;
and that very moment brought her own annihilation.
She found herself, absolutely and irretrievably, shut
off from every vestige of influence, of confidence,
of power. She was surrounded, indeed, by all the
outward signs of respect and consideration; but that
only made the inward truth of her position the more
intolerable. Through the mingled formalities of
Court etiquette and filial duty, she could never penetrate
to Victoria. She was unable to conceal her disappointment
and her rage. “Il n’y a plus d’avenir
pour moi,” she exclaimed to Madame de Lieven;
“je ne suis plus rien.” For eighteen
years, she said, this child had been the sole object
of her existence, of her thoughts, her hopes, and now—no!
she would not be comforted, she had lost everything,
she was to the last degree unhappy. Sailing,
so gallantly and so pertinaciously, through the buffeting
storms of life, the stately vessel, with sails still
swelling and pennons flying, had put into harbour
at last; to find there nothing—a land of
bleak desolation.
Within a month of the accession, the realities of
the new situation assumed a visible shape. The
whole royal household moved from Kensington to Buckingham
Palace, and, in the new abode, the Duchess of Kent
was given a suite of apartments entirely separate
from the Queen’s. By Victoria herself the
change was welcomed, though, at the moment of departure,
she could afford to be sentimental. “Though
I rejoice to go into B. P. for many reasons,”
she wrote in her diary, “it is not without feelings
of regret that I shall bid adieu for ever to this my
birthplace, where I have been born and bred, and to
which I am really attached!” Her memory lingered
for a moment over visions of the past: her sister’s
wedding, pleasant balls and delicious concerts and
there were other recollections. “I have
gone through painful and disagreeable scenes here,
’tis true,” she concluded, “but still
I am fond of the poor old palace.”
At the same time she took another decided step.
She had determined that she would see no more of Sir
John Conroy. She rewarded his past services with
liberality: he was given a baronetcy and a pension
of L3000 a year; he remained a member of the Duchess’s
household, but his personal intercourse with the Queen
came to an abrupt conclusion.