“CHARMS” WHICH PROVE DEADLY
For example, many girls admire rather fast young men. But few wives find happiness with drunken, gambling, unfaithful husbands. Many young women experience a delightful thrill of interest in the young man who is inclined to be somewhat authoritative. But few wives submit with pleasure to the exactions of a domineering husband. Some young women find a gay, careless irresponsibility charming in a lover but bitterly resent having to shoulder all the burdens of financing and maintaining a home.
In a similar way, some men admire dimpled, pouting girls, but they cordially detest whimpering, whining wives. Most men are flattered by an air of helpless dependence in a sweetheart, but they soon grow tired of a wife who cannot think and act for herself and who is, perhaps, an imaginary or real invalid.
These characteristics in both men and women may be mere affectations and mannerisms, assumed for the purpose of imagined allurement and charm. Or they may be bedded deep in the character. Only a scientific knowledge of human nature will reveal the truth.
No matter how truly mated a man and woman may be, life-long happiness in the marriage relation depends upon mutual understanding. Many a noble ship of matrimony has been wrecked hopelessly upon the jagged rocks of misunderstanding. Character analysis opens the eyes, reveals tendencies and motives and offers true knowledge as a guide to the making of one’s self truly lovable, and the finding and bringing out in the other of lovable qualities.
An intelligent woman of thirty once said to us: “I could never get along with my father. As soon as I began to have a mind of my own, he and I clashed, notwithstanding the fact that I loved him and he idolized me. After I had married and left home, my love for him frequently drew me back under his roof for a visit. But before I had been there a week we had somehow managed to have a bitter quarrel and separated in anger. After I learned to apply the principles of character analysis, I returned home on a visit and the first thing I did was to analyze father. For the first time in my life I understood him. Since that time we have never clashed, and my visits with him are a great joy to me as well as to him.”
We have in our files a sheaf of letters from both men and women telling of the regaining of a lost paradise through mutual knowledge and mutual understanding.