Henceforward, I knew what fate St. John feared for me.

A calm, subdued triumph, blent with a longing earnestness, marked his enunciation of the last glorious verses of that chapter.  The reader believed his name was already written in the Lamb’s book of life, and he yearned after the hour which should admit him to the city to which the kings of the earth bring their glory and honour; which has no need of sun or moon to shine in it, because the glory of God lightens it, and the Lamb is the light thereof.

In the prayer following the chapter, all his energy gathered —­ all his stern zeal woke:  he was in deep earnest, wrestling with God, and resolved on a conquest.  He supplicated strength for the weak-hearted; guidance for wanderers from the fold:  a return, even at the eleventh hour, for those whom the temptations of the world and the flesh were luring from the narrow path.  He asked, he urged, he claimed the boon of a brand snatched from the burning.  Earnestness is ever deeply solemn:  first, as I listened to that prayer, I wondered at his; then, when it continued and rose, I was touched by it, and at last awed.  He felt the greatness and goodness of his purpose so sincerely:  others who heard him plead for it, could not but feel it too.

The prayer over, we took leave of him:  he was to go at a very early hour in the morning.  Diana and Mary having kissed him, left the room —­ in compliance, I think, with a whispered hint from him:  I tendered my hand, and wished him a pleasant journey.

“Thank you, Jane.  As I said, I shall return from Cambridge in a fortnight:  that space, then, is yet left you for reflection.  If I listened to human pride, I should say no more to you of marriage with me; but I listen to my duty, and keep steadily in view my first aim —­ to do all things to the glory of God.  My Master was long-suffering:  so will I be.  I cannot give you up to perdition as a vessel of wrath:  repent —­ resolve, while there is yet time.  Remember, we are bid to work while it is day —­ warned that ’the night cometh when no man shall work.’  Remember the fate of Dives, who had his good things in this life.  God give you strength to choose that better part which shall not be taken from you!”

He laid his hand on my head as he uttered the last words.  He had spoken earnestly, mildly:  his look was not, indeed, that of a lover beholding his mistress, but it was that of a pastor recalling his wandering sheep —­ or better, of a guardian angel watching the soul for which he is responsible.  All men of talent, whether they be men of feeling or not; whether they be zealots, or aspirants, or despots —­ provided only they be sincere —­ have their sublime moments, when they subdue and rule.  I felt veneration for St. John —­ veneration so strong that its impetus thrust me at once to the point I had so long shunned.  I was tempted to cease struggling with him —­ to rush down the torrent of his will into the gulf