Jane Eyre eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 705 pages of information about Jane Eyre.

Jane Eyre eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 705 pages of information about Jane Eyre.

I heard him go as I stood at the half-open door of my own room, to which I had now withdrawn.  The house cleared, I shut myself in, fastened the bolt that none might intrude, and proceeded —­ not to weep, not to mourn, I was yet too calm for that, but —­ mechanically to take off the wedding dress, and replace it by the stuff gown I had worn yesterday, as I thought, for the last time.  I then sat down:  I felt weak and tired.  I leaned my arms on a table, and my head dropped on them.  And now I thought:  till now I had only heard, seen, moved —­ followed up and down where I was led or dragged —­ watched event rush on event, disclosure open beyond disclosure:  but now, I thought.

The morning had been a quiet morning enough —­ all except the brief scene with the lunatic:  the transaction in the church had not been noisy; there was no explosion of passion, no loud altercation, no dispute, no defiance or challenge, no tears, no sobs:  a few words had been spoken, a calmly pronounced objection to the marriage made; some stern, short questions put by Mr. Rochester; answers, explanations given, evidence adduced; an open admission of the truth had been uttered by my master; then the living proof had been seen; the intruders were gone, and all was over.

I was in my own room as usual —­ just myself, without obvious change:  nothing had smitten me, or scathed me, or maimed me.  And yet where was the Jane Eyre of yesterday? —­ where was her life? —­ where were her prospects?

Jane Eyre, who had been an ardent, expectant woman —­ almost a bride, was a cold, solitary girl again:  her life was pale; her prospects were desolate.  A Christmas frost had come at midsummer; a white December storm had whirled over June; ice glazed the ripe apples, drifts crushed the blowing roses; on hayfield and cornfield lay a frozen shroud:  lanes which last night blushed full of flowers, to-day were pathless with untrodden snow; and the woods, which twelve hours since waved leafy and flagrant as groves between the tropics, now spread, waste, wild, and white as pine-forests in wintry Norway.  My hopes were all dead —­ struck with a subtle doom, such as, in one night, fell on all the first-born in the land of Egypt.  I looked on my cherished wishes, yesterday so blooming and glowing; they lay stark, chill, livid corpses that could never revive.  I looked at my love:  that feeling which was my master’s —­ which he had created; it shivered in my heart, like a suffering child in a cold cradle; sickness and anguish had seized it; it could not seek Mr. Rochester’s arms —­ it could not derive warmth from his breast.  Oh, never more could it turn to him; for faith was blighted —­ confidence destroyed!  Mr. Rochester was not to me what he had been; for he was not what I had thought him.  I would not ascribe vice to him; I would not say he had betrayed me; but the attribute of stainless truth was gone from his idea, and from his presence I must go:  That I

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Project Gutenberg
Jane Eyre from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.