Then Peter lifted up his cane and gave the pig a poke. He poked it two or three times, and he had just remarked, “That certainly is a splendid pig,” when he gave it another poke, and then somehow the pistol in the cane went off and the pig rolled over and expired.
[Illustration: HOW THE PIG WAS KILLED]
“What in the mischief d’you do that for?” exclaimed Keyser, amazed and indignant.
“Do it for? I didn’t do it! This cane must’ve been made out of an old gun-barrel with the load left in. I never had the least idea, I pledge you my word, that there was anything the matter with it.”
“That’s pretty thin,” said Keyser; “you had a grudge agin that pig because you couldn’t scare up a pig like him, and you killed him on purpose.”
“That’s perfectly ridiculous.”
“Oh, maybe it is. You’ll just fork over two hundred dollars for that piece of pork, if you please.”
“I’ll see you in Egypt first.”
* * * * *
Peter whipped; but if Keyser did give in first, Peter went home with a bleeding nose, and the next day he was arrested for killing the pig. The case is coming up soon, and Peter’s brother is on, ready to testify about that cane. Peter himself walks now with a hickory stick.
RESPECTING CERTAIN SAVAGES.
When young Mr. Spooner, Judge Twiddler’s nephew, left college, he made up his mind to enter the ministry and become a missionary. One day he met Captain Hubbs; and when he mentioned that he thought of going out as a missionary, Captain Hubbs asked him, “Where are you going?”
S. “To the Navigator Islands. I sail in October.”
Capt. (shaking his head mournfully). “Pore young man! Pore young man! It is too bad—too bad indeed! Going to the Navigator Islands! Not married yet, I reckon? No? Ah! so much the better. No wife and children to make widows and orphans of. But it’s sad, anyway. A promising young fellow like you! My heart bleeds for you.”
S. “What d’you mean?”
Capt. “Oh, nothing. I don’t want to frighten you. I know you’re doing it from a sense of duty. But I’ve been there to the Navigator Islands, and I’m acquainted with the people’s little ways, and I—well, I—I—the fact is, you see, that—well, sooner’n disguise the truth, I don’t mind telling you straight out that the last day I was there the folks et one of my legs—sawed it off an’ et it. Now you can see how things are yourself. Those Navigators gobbled that leg right up. It was a leg a good deal like yours, only heavier, I reckon.”
S. “You astonish me!”