So when Bradley had made up a lot of the Imperishable, he stored the bulk of them in the garret; and putting a sample of them in his pocket, he went down to Washington to see the Secretary of War, to get him to introduce them to the army.

He walked into the secretary’s office and pulled out a sausage, and holding it toward him was about to explain it to him, when the secretary suddenly dodged behind the table.  The movement struck Bradley as being queer, and he walked around after the secretary, still holding out a sample of the Imperishable.  Then the secretary made a bolt for the door and went out, and presently in came a couple of clerks with shot-guns.  They aimed at Bradley, and told him to drop his weapon or they would fire.  He deposited the sausage on the table and asked them what was the matter, and then the secretary came in and said he mistook the sausage for a revolver.  When Bradley explained his mission, the secretary told him that nothing could be done without the action of Congress, and he recommended the inventor to go up to the Capitol and push his sausage through there.

[Illustration:  THE SECRETARY IS ALARMED]

So Bradley was on hand next day before the session opened, and he laid a sausage on the desk of each member.  When the House assembled, there was a large diversity of opinion respecting the meaning of the extraordinary display.  Some were inclined to regard the article as an infernal machine introduced by some modern Guy Fawkes, while others leaned to the view that it was a new kind of banana developed by the Agricultural Department.  After a while Bradley turned up and explained, and he spent the winter there trying to force his sausage on his beloved country.  At the very end of the session a bill was smuggled through, ordering the commissary department of the army to appoint a commission to investigate Bradley’s sausage, and to report to the Secretary of War.

When the commission was organized, it came on with Bradley to his home on his farm to examine his method.  As the party approached the house a terrific smell greeted them, and upon entering the front door it became nearly unendurable.  Mrs. Bradley said she thought there must be something dead under the washboard.  But upon going into the garret the origin of the smell became obvious.  About half a ton of the Patent Imperishable Sausage lay on the floor in a condition of fearful decay.  Then the commissioners put their fingers to their noses and adjourned, and the chairman went to the hotel to write out his report.  It was about as follows: