Samantha at the St. Louis Exposition eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 276 pages of information about Samantha at the St. Louis Exposition.

“No.”  She said she got onto the right car and the conductor wuz a dretful handsome and fascinatin’ man, and she went to git off at the right street, and kinder backed off, she always duz git off that way, and the conductor thinkin’ she wanted to git on, he smiled so sweet and held out his hand to help her on so she would git on again.  And that happened over and over.  She not wantin’ to hurt his feelin’s and slight him by not takin’ holt of his hand and climbin’ on agin.  Till finally she did show some good sense, she asked the man standin’ on the platform if he would help her off, for she had been tryin’ to git off for the last five stations.  So she had to take a car back, but the conductor wuz humbly and gruff and she got along all right, but it belated her.

Sez I, “What made you do it, Blandina?”

“Oh,” sez she, “he looked so winnin’ and invitin’ I didn’t want to hurt his feelin’s.”

Sez I, “You’ll sup sorrer yet, Blandina, by your wantin’ to obleege everybody.  You ort to look out for yourself some, you’re alltogether too good to be comfortable.”


Well, Josiah went that day with Billy Huff, he santered off without any system or plan, and wouldn’t take my pad though I offered it to him.  But I guess they jest poked round miscelaneous, as you may say, seein’ jest what they happened to run into.  And in some of their travels they met Barzelia Trimble, a woman lecturer, she’s young and good lookin’ and smart as a whip, and I guess she made much of Josiah, ’tennyrate she gin him tickets to her lecture.

She said she’d met a man whose brother-in-law’s cousin had bought a dog once of a neighbor of mine, and so feelin’ so well acquainted with me she sent me the tickets, and did hope we would come.  She said she felt that she knew us both so well that it would be a treat to her.

The way she come to see Josiah that day, Billy had met her at school where she lectured.

Josiah wuz very anxious that we should both go.  He remembered the dog.

But I sez, “I thought you didn’t believe in wimmen’s lecturin’ and havin’ rights, Josiah.”

“Well, I don’t believe in ’em, but the tickets wuz gin to us, fifty cents right out of her pocket, and she’ll expect us.  She said it would make her feel more homelike to have us present.”

“Well,” sez I, “I don’t know as I feel so very intimate with her, I never see the dog, but her idees on wimmen’s rights is sensible, I’ve read about ’em.”

And that kinder headed Josiah off onto a new tact; we had had a dretful good supper, and I believe Miss Trimble had made a sight on him, I believe she had flattered and pompeyed him and for the time bein’ he felt soft in sperit towards the sex.

And ’tennyrate men’s moods are like the onfathomable sea, sometimes turbulent, throwin’ up stunny arguments and sandy ones, and agin flowin’ calm and smooth as ile, and this wuz one of the gently swashin’ ones.

Project Gutenberg
Samantha at the St. Louis Exposition from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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