“I feel dubersome about it, Rosy, dretful dubersome.”

At last Josiah’s temper riz up and he vowed he wouldn’t dally any longer, sez he, “I earned this money by the sweat of my brow and I’m goin’ to use it as I’m a minter, and I’m a minter have these water pipes put in by Jabez Wind.” (He got the money by sellin’ a colt, Id’no as there wuz any great sweat about it).

But he wuz bound to have it done, and he did.  And for reasons named I dassent cross him too fur and put my foot right down on the plan.  And the children sez, “Better anything, mother, than his celebration.  If he don’t tear the house down over your head let him go on.” (Let him!  I guess I had to let him.)

Jabez come on with all his riggin’.  He’d borrowed tools of the hardware man at Zoar, another of Karen’s cousins, and obtained the furnace and pipes on credit, I spozed.

I made all the preparations I could in case of disaster.  Took up the carpets in that part of the house, took down the curtains and moved the furniture, used all the precautions I could to escape with life and limb if possible, and insure the safety of my dear but misguided pardner, and then I sot down in the parlor bedroom, the furthest I could git without goin’ upstairs, and let the tide of events sweep by me or sweep me away, and I didn’t know which it would be.  I had to be downstairs anyway, for (though Philury helped), I had to stand with my hand on the hellum, so to speak, and see to everything.  What made it worse, too, it come on the coldest snap we’d had all winter.

Well, one of the main arguments by Jabez and Josiah wuz the speed with which this work wuz to be accomplished.  The hull thing wuz to be done and we settin’ down fannin’ ourselves inside of three days, but for over four weeks our house wuz a perfect pandemonium of noise and confusion.

Iron pipes lay round in every direction, screws and vises, nuts and hammers, wrenches and irons of all shapes and descriptions strewed the house from top to bottom, and ashes, dirt and dust wuz rampant, and Jabez rennin’ up and down stairs, to and fro, talkin’ loud about what a success he wuz makin’ of it and how everything wuz workin’ jest as he wanted it to, and boasted in particular every time he come acrost me, ashakin’ with the cold, how perfectly still and noiseless it wuz goin’ to be, and how luxurious and almost enervatin’ would be the warmth.  And I sez, rubbin’ my cold hands and pullin’ my heavy woolen shawl closter round me, “It would be a little different than it is now if it wuz still, or if it wuz warm.”  And agin I shivered in the frigid air and sez: 

“You guaranteed we wouldn’t be torn up here over three days, and it wuz four weeks yesterday.”

“That is because I have took such extra precautions to have it perfectly noiseless.  Never,” sez he impressively, “from one year’s end to the other will you ever hear a sound from that apparatus, not the least murmur or echo of a sound.”