“‘Well!’ says I, brisk, tryin’ to forgit that lost fifty.  ’Why don’t you and Pete sign the pledge right here and now?—­how’s that, friend?’ I asks the minister.

“’Why, ah! says he.  ‘Ah!  It doesn’t seem quite the proper place—­’

“‘What’s the matter with this place?’ says Jim.  He took a great pride in his saloon.  He had glass mirrors up that cost him a hundred plunks apiece.  ‘If you think,’ says he, ’that there’s a prettier little joint in town than this, why, don’t let me keep you.’

“That minister was cut out fer the business.  He hedged his bet so quick, I admired him.

“‘That’s just it,’ he says loud and hearty.  ’I look upon matrimony as a solemn affair, and I was afraid our friends would be distracted from the seriousness of the ceremony by the surroundings.’

“‘Don’t say a word!’ says Jim, wavin’ his hand.  ’You have put the next round on me; but I guess Pete and Maggy has had seriousnesses enough, just as she slides—­heh?’

“‘You’re talkin’ blue checks, Jim,’ says Maggy, through her apron.  ‘I don’t reckon I’ll ever get too gay to hurt me, nor Pete, nuther.’

“‘Very well,’ says the minister—­and we had the weddin’.  Charlie High-ball burnt punk that smelled strong but fine, and swung his arms, Jim and the rest of the boys sayin’ ‘amen’ every time there come a stop, and all the proceedin’s goin’ on grand, till the preacher got to the last of it, and then Pete broke in: 

“‘I copper that statement,’ says he.  ’I wouldn’t run against you for the world, old man, but here I got to.  We ain’t “man” and wife, for I ain’t never been a man since I growed up:  Maggy, she’s the man and wife both.  Say “husband and wife,” to oblige.’

“The preacher looked at Pete mighty kind.

“‘Husband and wife,’ says he.  Then Maggy busted out, ’He’s the best man that ever lived!’ says she.

“‘May you live long and happy years together,’ says the preacher, and he had a different look on his face—­more’s if it was a pleasure instead of business he was attendin’ to.

“Whilest we stood there, kinder awk’ard, Charley made a high play.  He gathered all his winnings in a heap.  ‘For laly,’ says he, makin’ her a bow.

“Maggy, she cried.  Everybody’d been so good to her, she said, and she weren’t able to turn a hand for her part, and so forth, and we was all kind of pleasantly miserable for a while, till Jim sings out, ‘Here, this ain’t no weddin’ hilarity—­guide right to the bar!’

“There we all lined up, Charlie High-ball and all.

“‘What’ll you have, sir?’ says Jim, askin’ the minister first out of manners.

“‘The same as the rest,’ says the minister like a man.

“‘Mr. Scraggs?’ says Jim.

“’Ginger ale, says I. And every man and woman took ginger ale, which is a beverage that ’ud drive a man to drink.  Howsomever, we showed that preacher he didn’t hold over us, speck nor color, when it come to a showdown.  And he savvied the play, too.  He watched the line drinkin’ its ginger ale.