[Illustration:  THE EDITOR OF “THE WINDMILL.”]

I wish that an obstinate scruple on the part of the printers and the limits of a duodecimo page did not forbid my reproducing here, in all their glory, the unique head-lines which precede the article in question.  Any pageant introduced by music is impressive, says Madame de Stael.  At least she says something of that sort, only it is in French, and I can not remember it exactly.  And so any newspaper article is startling when introduced by the braying of head-lines.  Fonts of type for displayed lines were not abundant in the office of the Windmill, but they were very stunning, and were used also for giving prominence to the euphonious names of the several towns, whose charms were set forth in the advertisements.  Of course the first of these head-lines ran “Startling Disclosures!!!!” and then followed “Tremendous Excitement in Metropolisville!” “Official Rascality!” “Bold Mail Robbery!” “Arrest of the Postmaster!” “No Doubt of his Guilt!” “An Unexplained Mystery!” “Sequel to the Awful Drowning Affair of Last Week!” Having thus whetted the appetite of his reader, and economized in type-setting by nearly a column of such broad and soul-stirring typography, the editor proceeds: 

“Metropolisville is again the red-hot crater of a boiling and seething excitement.  Scarcely had the rascally and unscrupulous county-seat swindle begun to lose something of its terrific and exciting interest to the people of this county, when there came the awful and sad drowning of the two young ladies, Miss Jennie Downing and Miss Katy Charlton, the belles of the village, a full account of which will be found in the Windmill of last week, some copies of which we have still on hand, having issued an extra edition.  Scarcely had the people of Metropolisville laid these two charming and much-lamented young ladies in their last, long resting-place, the quiet grave, when there comes like an earthquake out of a clear sky, the frightful and somewhat surprising and stunning intelligence that the postmaster of the village, a young man of a hitherto unexceptionable and blameless reputation, has been arrested for robbing the mails.  It is supposed that his depredations have been very extensive and long continued, and that many citizens of our own village may have suffered from them.  Farther investigations will doubtless bring all his nefarious and unscrupulous transactions to light.  At present, however, he is under arrest on the single charge of stealing a land-warrant.

“The name of the rascally, villainous, and dishonest postmaster is Albert Charlton, and here comes in the wonderful and startling romance of this strange story.  The carnival of excitement in Metropolisville and about Metropolisville has all had to do with one family.  Our readers will remember how fully we have exposed the unscrupulous tricks of the old fox Plausaby, the contemptible land-shark who runs Metropolisville, and