The Gentleman from Everywhere eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 216 pages of information about The Gentleman from Everywhere.

The Gentleman from Everywhere eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 216 pages of information about The Gentleman from Everywhere.

On another occasion while scouring the Florida country for lands for colonizing purposes in company with a native, the night caught us in the dense forest; our horses stumbled over immense fallen trees, the owls hooted, the wild cats screamed, the thunder roared, occasionally a pine fell splintered by the lightning, the rain fell in torrents, and we seemed destined to shiver all the long black hours supperless and comfortless, when our eyes were greeted by the cheerful light shining through the open door of a log hut; a dozen curs gave tongue and went for our legs till a sharp yell from within sent them yelping away.  A genuine Cracker appeared, and seeing our dripping forms in the electric flash, he quietly said, “Lite strangers, lite, jest in time, plenty of hog and hominy.”  He led our tired steeds into the leanto, fed them, and ushered us into his one-room shanty, where his lank wife and a dozen children silently made room for us around a rough board table.  “Mother,” said the master, “more hoe-cake, more bacon,” and the obedient woman “slapped” a lot of corn dough on to the blade of a common hoe which a girl held over the “fat-wood” fire until it browned; another tossed some smoked hog into an suspicious looking skillet, and soon, in spite of the slovenly cooking, we “fell to” in a desperate attempt to smother the gnawing pangs of a long-suffering appetite.  Then we told all the stories we could recall or invent to satisfy the starving intellects of these lonesome denizens of the wild wood.  “Come, chilluns, to bed,” said our host, and they were all stacked one over the other on the one corn-shuck couch where a chorus of snores proved they were in the land of dreams.

Our host relapsed into silence and seemed to be pondering some profound problem in his mind; but suddenly blurted out, “Strangers, reckon ye haint gut any of the rale critter, have ye? no corn juice pison nor nuthin’? reckon I was born dry!” My guide in reply produced a long flat bottle of about his own size, and passed it with “try that Kunnel.”  There was a sound of mighty gurgling long drawn out, but finally the huge demijohn was reluctantly withdrawn from his cavernlike mouth with a joyous “Ah, that’s the rale stuff, have some mother?  The woman removed the snuff rag from her gums long enough to drain the dregs, and presto! they beamed upon us like twin suns.

“Strangers,” ejaculated this typical Cracker, “this is the dog-gondest place ter git er drink yer ever seed.  Aour caounty went dry last ’lection, and tother day er went to the spensary ter git sum fire-water er thinkin we mought be sick er sunthin, ther wouldn’t let me hev it ’thout Doc’s ’scripshun—­went to Doc, wouldn’t give me ’scripshun ’thout snake-bite er sunthin—­went ter only snake er knowed on fer a bite, und the dog-goned critter sed all his bites wuz spoke for three weeks ahed.  Dunno what ud er dun if you uns hedn’t cum erlong.  Naouw, strangers, you take aour bed, we sleep on floo.”

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The Gentleman from Everywhere from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.