The Spectator, Volumes 1, 2 and 3 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 3,418 pages of information about The Spectator, Volumes 1, 2 and 3.
had it in my Chamber; but now I became lazy, and unwilling to stir, and was obliged to seek Food nearer Home.  I then took a strange Hankering to Coals; I fell to scranching ’em, and had already consumed, I am certain, as much as would have dressed my Wedding Dinner, when my Uncle came for me Home.  He was in the Parlour with my Governess when I was called down.  I went in, fell on my Knees, for he made me call him Father; and when I expected the Blessing I asked, the good Gentleman, in a Surprize, turns himself to my Governess, and asks, Whether this (pointing to me) was his Daughter?  This (added he) is the very Picture of Death.  My Child was a plump-fac’d, hale, fresh-coloured Girl; but this looks as if she was half-starved, a mere Skeleton.  My Governess, who is really a good Woman, assured my Father I had wanted for nothing; and withal told him I was continually eating some Trash or other, and that I was almost eaten up with the Green-sickness, her Orders being never to cross me.  But this magnified but little with my Father, who presently, in a kind of Pett, paying for my Board, took me home with him.  I had not been long at home, but one Sunday at Church (I shall never forget it) I saw a young neighbouring Gentleman that pleased me hugely; I liked him of all Men I ever saw in my Life, and began to wish I could be as pleasing to him.  The very next Day he came, with his Father, a visiting to our House:  We were left alone together, with Directions on both Sides to be in Love with one another, and in three Weeks time we were married.  I regained my former Health and Complexion, and am now as happy as the Day is long.  Now, Mr.  SPEC., I desire you would find out some Name for these craving Damsels, whether dignified or distinguished under some or all of the following Denominations, (to wit) Trash-eaters, Oatmeal-chewers, Pipe-champers, Chalk-lickers, Wax-nibbles, Coal-Scranchers, Wall-peelers, or Gravel-diggers:  And, good Sir, do your utmost endeavour to prevent (by exposing) this unaccountable Folly, so prevailing among the young ones of our Sex, who may not meet with such sudden good Luck as,
SIR, Your constant Reader, and very humble Servant, Sabina Green, Now Sabina Rentfree.


* * * * *

No. 432.  Wednesday, July 16, 1712.  Steele.

  ‘Inter-strepit anser olores.’


  Oxford, July 14.


  According to a late Invitation in one of your Papers to every Man who
  pleases to write, I have sent you the following short Dissertation
  against the Vice of being prejudiced.

  Your most humble Servant.

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The Spectator, Volumes 1, 2 and 3 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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