Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,126 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.
hath store of ready coin.  Clown we call him, because a noble and generous prince hath never a penny, and that to hoard up treasure is but a clownish trick.  The other part of the army, in the meantime, shall draw towards Onys, Xaintonge, Angomois, and Gascony.  Then march to Perigot, Medoc, and Elanes, taking wherever you come, without resistance, towns, castles, and forts; afterwards to Bayonne, St. John de Luc, to Fontarabia, where you shall seize upon all the ships, and coasting along Galicia and Portugal, shall pillage all the maritime places, even unto Lisbon, where you shall be supplied with all necessaries befitting a conqueror.  By copsody, Spain will yield, for they are but a race of loobies.  Then are you to pass by the Straits of Gibraltar, where you shall erect two pillars more stately than those of Hercules, to the perpetual memory of your name, and the narrow entrance there shall be called the Picrocholinal sea.

Having passed the Picrocholinal sea, behold, Barbarossa yields himself your slave.  I will, said Picrochole, give him fair quarter and spare his life.  Yea, said they, so that he be content to be christened.  And you shall conquer the kingdoms of Tunis, of Hippo, Argier, Bomine (Bona), Corone, yea, all Barbary.  Furthermore, you shall take into your hands Majorca, Minorca, Sardinia, Corsica, with the other islands of the Ligustic and Balearian seas.  Going alongst on the left hand, you shall rule all Gallia Narbonensis, Provence, the Allobrogians, Genoa, Florence, Lucca, and then God b’w’ye, Rome. (Our poor Monsieur the Pope dies now for fear.) By my faith, said Picrochole, I will not then kiss his pantoufle.

Italy being thus taken, behold Naples, Calabria, Apulia, and Sicily, all ransacked, and Malta too.  I wish the pleasant Knights of the Rhodes heretofore would but come to resist you, that we might see their urine.  I would, said Picrochole, very willingly go to Loretto.  No, no, said they, that shall be at our return.  From thence we will sail eastwards, and take Candia, Cyprus, Rhodes, and the Cyclade Islands, and set upon (the) Morea.  It is ours, by St. Trenian.  The Lord preserve Jerusalem; for the great Soldan is not comparable to you in power.  I will then, said he, cause Solomon’s temple to be built.  No, said they, not yet, have a little patience, stay awhile, be never too sudden in your enterprises.  Can you tell what Octavian Augustus said?  Festina lente.  It is requisite that you first have the Lesser Asia, Caria, Lycia, Pamphilia, Cilicia, Lydia, Phrygia, Mysia, Bithynia, Carazia, Satalia, Samagaria, Castamena, Luga, Savasta, even unto Euphrates.  Shall we see, said Picrochole, Babylon and Mount Sinai?  There is no need, said they, at this time.  Have we not hurried up and down, travelled and toiled enough, in having transfretted and passed over the Hircanian sea, marched alongst the two Armenias and the three Arabias?  Ay, by my faith, said he, we have played the fools, and

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Gargantua and Pantagruel from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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