ripe walnuts in two while they are yet in the shell,
and pick out the kernel, and they found them very
fit for the expediting of that weasand-slitting exploit.
In the meantime Friar John, with his formidable baton
of the cross, got to the breach which the enemies
had made, and there stood to snatch up those that
endeavoured to escape. Some of the monkitos carried
the standards, banners, ensigns, guidons, and colours
into their cells and chambers to make garters of them.
But when those that had been shriven would have gone
out at the gap of the said breach, the sturdy monk
quashed and felled them down with blows, saying, These
men have had confession and are penitent souls; they
have got their absolution and gained the pardons;
they go into paradise as straight as a sickle, or as
the way is to Faye (like Crooked-Lane at Eastcheap).
Thus by his prowess and valour were discomfited all
those of the army that entered into the close of the
abbey, unto the number of thirteen thousand, six hundred,
twenty and two, besides the women and little children,
which is always to be understood. Never did
Maugis the Hermit bear himself more valiantly with
his bourdon or pilgrim’s staff against the Saracens,
of whom is written in the Acts of the four sons of
Aymon, than did this monk against his enemies with
the staff of the cross.
Chapter 1.XXVIII.
How Picrochole stormed and took by assault the rock
Clermond, and of Grangousier’s unwillingness
and aversion from the undertaking of war.
Whilst the monk did thus skirmish, as we have said,
against those which were entered within the close,
Picrochole in great haste passed the ford of Vede—a
very especial pass—with all his soldiers,
and set upon the rock Clermond, where there was made
him no resistance at all; and, because it was already
night, he resolved to quarter himself and his army
in that town, and to refresh himself of his pugnative
choler. In the morning he stormed and took the
bulwarks and castle, which afterwards he fortified
with rampiers, and furnished with all ammunition requisite,
intending to make his retreat there, if he should
happen to be otherwise worsted; for it was a strong
place, both by art and nature, in regard of the stance
and situation of it. But let us leave them there,
and return to our good Gargantua, who is at Paris
very assiduous and earnest at the study of good letters
and athletical exercitations, and to the good old man
Grangousier his father, who after supper warmeth his
ballocks by a good, clear, great fire, and, waiting
upon the broiling of some chestnuts, is very serious
in drawing scratches on the hearth, with a stick burnt
at the one end, wherewith they did stir up the fire,
telling to his wife and the rest of the family pleasant
old stories and tales of former times.
