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This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 952 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.

There was then in the abbey a claustral monk, called Friar John of the funnels and gobbets, in French des entoumeures, young, gallant, frisk, lusty, nimble, quick, active, bold, adventurous, resolute, tall, lean, wide-mouthed, long-nosed, a fair despatcher of morning prayers, unbridler of masses, and runner over of vigils; and, to conclude summarily in a word, a right monk, if ever there was any, since the monking world monked a monkery:  for the rest, a clerk even to the teeth in matter of breviary.  This monk, hearing the noise that the enemy made within the enclosure of the vineyard, went out to see what they were doing; and perceiving that they were cutting and gathering the grapes, whereon was grounded the foundation of all their next year’s wine, returned unto the choir of the church where the other monks were, all amazed and astonished like so many bell-melters.  Whom when he heard sing, im, nim, pe, ne, ne, ne, ne, nene, tum, ne, num, num, ini, i mi, co, o, no, o, o, neno, ne, no, no, no, rum, nenum, num:  It is well shit, well sung, said he.  By the virtue of God, why do not you sing, Panniers, farewell, vintage is done?  The devil snatch me, if they be not already within the middle of our close, and cut so well both vines and grapes, that, by Cod’s body, there will not be found for these four years to come so much as a gleaning in it.  By the belly of Sanct James, what shall we poor devils drink the while?  Lord God! da mihi potum.  Then said the prior of the convent:  What should this drunken fellow do here? let him be carried to prison for troubling the divine service.  Nay, said the monk, the wine service, let us behave ourselves so that it be not troubled; for you yourself, my lord prior, love to drink of the best, and so doth every honest man.  Never yet did a man of worth dislike good wine, it is a monastical apophthegm.  But these responses that you chant here, by G—­, are not in season.  Wherefore is it, that our devotions were instituted to be short in the time of harvest and vintage, and long in the advent, and all the winter?  The late friar, Massepelosse, of good memory, a true zealous man, or else I give myself to the devil, of our religion, told me, and I remember it well, how the reason was, that in this season we might press and make the wine, and in winter whiff it up.  Hark you, my masters, you that love the wine, Cop’s body, follow me; for Sanct Anthony burn me as freely as a faggot, if they get leave to taste one drop of the liquor that will not now come and fight for relief of the vine.  Hog’s belly, the goods of the church!  Ha, no, no.  What the devil, Sanct Thomas of England was well content to die for them; if I died in the same cause, should not I be a sanct likewise?  Yes.  Yet shall not I die there for all this, for it is I that must do it to others and send them a-packing.

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