Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 952 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.
It was answered him, that they desired to have their bells restored to them.  As soon as Ponocrates heard that, he ran in all haste to carry the news unto Gargantua, that he might be ready to answer them, and speedily resolve what was to be done.  Gargantua being advertised hereof, called apart his schoolmaster Ponocrates, Philotimus, steward of his house, Gymnastes, his esquire, and Eudemon, and very summarily conferred with them, both of what he should do and what answer he should give.  They were all of opinion that they should bring them unto the goblet-office, which is the buttery, and there make them drink like roysters and line their jackets soundly.  And that this cougher might not be puffed up with vain-glory by thinking the bells were restored at his request, they sent, whilst he was chopining and plying the pot, for the mayor of the city, the rector of the faculty, and the vicar of the church, unto whom they resolved to deliver the bells before the sophister had propounded his commission.  After that, in their hearing, he should pronounce his gallant oration, which was done; and they being come, the sophister was brought in full hall, and began as followeth, in coughing.

Chapter 1.XIX.

The oration of Master Janotus de Bragmardo for recovery of the bells.

Hem, hem, gud-day, sirs, gud-day.  Et vobis, my masters.  It were but reason that you should restore to us our bells; for we have great need of them.  Hem, hem, aihfuhash.  We have oftentimes heretofore refused good money for them of those of London in Cahors, yea and those of Bourdeaux in Brie, who would have bought them for the substantific quality of the elementary complexion, which is intronificated in the terrestreity of their quidditative nature, to extraneize the blasting mists and whirlwinds upon our vines, indeed not ours, but these round about us.  For if we lose the piot and liquor of the grape, we lose all, both sense and law.  If you restore them unto us at my request, I shall gain by it six basketfuls of sausages and a fine pair of breeches, which will do my legs a great deal of good, or else they will not keep their promise to me.  Ho by gob, Domine, a pair of breeches is good, et vir sapiens non abhorrebit eam.  Ha, ha, a pair of breeches is not so easily got; I have experience of it myself.  Consider, Domine, I have been these eighteen days in matagrabolizing this brave speech.  Reddite quae sunt Caesaris, Caesari, et quae sunt Dei, Deo.  Ibi jacet lepus.  By my faith, Domine, if you will sup with me in cameris, by cox body, charitatis, nos faciemus bonum cherubin.  Ego occiditunum porcum, et ego habet bonum vino:  but of good wine we cannot make bad Latin.  Well, de parte Dei date nobis bellas nostras.  Hold, I give you in the name of the faculty a Sermones de Utino, that utinam you would give us our bells.  Vultis etiam pardonos?  Per diem vos habebitis, et nihil payabitis. 

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Gargantua and Pantagruel from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.