Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,126 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.

Pan.  Would you have them vault or wriggle more?  Fri.  Less.

Pan.  What kind of tools are yours?  Fri.  Big.

Pan.  And in their helves?  Fri.  Round.

Pan.  Of what colour is the tip?  Fri.  Red.

Pan.  When they’ve even used, how are they?  Fri.  Shrunk.

Pan.  How much weighs each bag of tools?  Fri.  Pounds.

Pan.  How hang your pouches?  Fri.  Tight.

Pan.  How are they when you’ve done?  Fri.  Lank.

Pan.  Now, by the oath you have taken, tell me, when you have a mind to cohabit, how you throw ’em?  Fri.  Down.

Pan.  And what do they say then?  Fri.  Fie.

Pan.  However, like maids, they say nay, and take it; and speak the less, but think the more, minding the work in hand; do they not?  Fri.  True.

Pan.  Do they get you bairns?  Fri.  None.

Pan.  How do you pig together?  Fri.  Bare.

Pan.  Remember you’re upon your oath, and tell me justly and bona fide how many times a day you monk it?  Fri.  Six.

Pan.  How many bouts a-nights?  Fri.  Ten.

Catso, quoth Friar John, the poor fornicating brother is bashful, and sticks at sixteen, as if that were his stint.  Right, quoth Panurge, but couldst thou keep pace with him, Friar John, my dainty cod?  May the devil’s dam suck my teat if he does not look as if he had got a blow over the nose with a Naples cowl-staff.

Pan.  Pray, Friar Shakewell, does your whole fraternity quaver and shake at that rate?  Fri.  All.

Pan.  Who of them is the best cock o’ the game?  Fri.  I.

Pan.  Do you never commit dry-bobs or flashes in the pan?  Fri.  None.

Pan.  I blush like any black dog, and could be as testy as an old cook when I think on all this; it passes my understanding.  But, pray, when you have been pumped dry one day, what have you got the next?  Fri.  More.

Pan.  By Priapus, they have the Indian herb of which Theophrastus spoke, or I’m much out.  But, hearkee me, thou man of brevity, should some impediment, honestly or otherwise, impair your talents and cause your benevolence to lessen, how would it fare with you, then?  Fri.  Ill.

Pan.  What would the wenches do?  Fri.  Rail.

Pan.  What if you skipped, and let ’em fast a whole day?  Fri.  Worse.

Pan.  What do you give ’em then?  Fri.  Thwacks.

Pan.  What do they say to this?  Fri.  Bawl.

Pan.  And what else?  Fri.  Curse.

Pan.  How do you correct ’em?  Fri.  Hard.

Pan.  What do you get out of ’em then?  Fri.  Blood.

Pan.  How’s their complexion then?  Fri.  Odd.

Pan.  What do they mend it with?  Fri.  Paint.

Pan.  Then what do they do?  Fri.  Fawn.

Pan.  By the oath you have taken, tell me truly what time of the year do you do it least in?  Fri.  Now (August.).

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Gargantua and Pantagruel from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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