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This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 952 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.
mount me on a horse, that I may go home.  No matter for a servant, I will be contented to serve myself; I am never better treated than when I am without a man.  Faith, old Plautus was in the right on’t when he said the more servants the more crosses; for such they are, even supposing they could want what they all have but too much of, a tongue, that most busy, dangerous, and pernicious member of servants.  Accordingly, ’twas for their sakes alone that the racks and tortures for confession were invented, though some foreign civilians in our time have drawn alogical and unreasonable consequences from it.

That very moment we spied a sail that made towards us.  When it was close by us, we soon knew what was the lading of the ship and who was aboard of her.  She was full freighted with drums.  I was acquainted with many of the passengers that came in her, who were most of ’em of good families; among the rest Harry Cotiral, an old toast, who had got a swinging ass’s touch-tripe (penis) fastened to his waist, as the good women’s beads are to their girdle.  In his left hand he held an old overgrown greasy foul cap, such as your scald-pated fellows wear, and in the right a huge cabbage-stump.

As soon as he saw me he was overjoyed, and bawled out to me, What cheer, ho?  How dost like me now?  Behold the true Algamana (this he said showing me the ass’s tickle-gizzard).  This doctor’s cap is my true elixir; and this (continued he, shaking the cabbage-stump in his fist) is lunaria major, you old noddy.  I have ’em, old boy, I have ’em; we’ll make ’em when thou’rt come back.  But pray, father, said I, whence come you?  Whither are you bound?  What’s your lading?  Have you smelt the salt deep?  To these four questions he answered, From Queen Whims; for Touraine; alchemy; to the very bottom.

Whom have you got o’ board? said I. Said he, Astrologers, fortune-tellers, alchemists, rhymers, poets, painters, projectors, mathematicians, watchmakers, sing-songs, musicianers, and the devil and all of others that are subject to Queen Whims (Motteux gives the following footnote:—­’La Quinte, This means a fantastic Humour, Maggots, or a foolish Giddiness of Brains; and also, a fifth, or the Proportion of Five in music, &c.’).  They have very fair legible patents to show for’t, as anybody may see.  Panurge had no sooner heard this but he was upon the high-rope, and began to rail at them like mad.  What o’ devil d’ye mean, cried he, to sit idly here like a pack of loitering sneaksbies, and see us stranded, while you may help us, and tow us off into the current?  A plague o’ your whims! you can make all things whatsoever, they say, so much as good weather and little children; yet won’t make haste to fasten some hawsers and cables, and get us off.  I was just coming to set you afloat, quoth Harry Cotiral; by Trismegistus, I’ll clear you in a trice.  With this he caused 7,532,810 huge drums to be unheaded on one side, and set that open side so that it faced the end

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