Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,126 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.

The good Gargantua made a present of them to the great King of Paris.  But by change of air, and for want of mustard (the natural balsam and restorer of Chitterlings), most of them died.  By the great king’s particular grant they were buried in heaps in a part of Paris to this day called La Rue pavee d’Andouilles, the street paved with Chitterlings.  At the request of the ladies at his court young Niphleseth was preserved, honourably used, and since that married to heart’s content; and was the mother of many children, for which heaven be praised.

Pantagruel civilly thanked the queen, forgave all offences, refused the offer she had made of her country, and gave her a pretty little knife.  After that he asked several nice questions concerning the apparition of that flying hog.  She answered that it was the idea of Carnival, their tutelary god in time of war, first founder and original of all the Chitterling race; for which reason he resembled a hog, for Chitterlings drew their extraction from hogs.

Pantagruel asking to what purpose and curative indication he had voided so much mustard on the earth, the queen replied that mustard was their sanc-greal and celestial balsam, of which, laying but a little in the wounds of the fallen Chitterlings, in a very short time the wounded were healed and the dead restored to life.  Pantagruel held no further discourse with the queen, but retired a-shipboard.  The like did all the boon companions, with their implements of destruction and their huge sow.

Chapter 4.XLIII.

How Pantagruel went into the island of Ruach.

Two days after we arrived at the island of Ruach; and I swear to you, by the celestial hen and chickens, that I found the way of living of the people so strange and wonderful that I can’t, for the heart’s blood of me, half tell it you.  They live on nothing but wind, eat nothing but wind, and drink nothing but wind.  They have no other houses but weathercocks.  They sow no other seeds but the three sorts of windflowers, rue, and herbs that may make one break wind to the purpose; these scour them off carefully.  The common sort of people to feed themselves make use of feather, paper, or linen fans, according to their abilities.  As for the rich, they live by the means of windmills.

When they would have some noble treat, the tables are spread under one or two windmills.  There they feast as merry as beggars, and during the meal their whole talk is commonly of the goodness, excellency, salubrity, and rarity of winds; as you, jolly topers, in your cups philosophize and argue upon wines.  The one praises the south-east, the other the south-west; this the west and by south, and this the east and by north; another the west, and another the east; and so of the rest.  As for lovers and amorous sparks, no gale for them like a smock-gale.  For the sick they use bellows as we use clysters among us.

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Gargantua and Pantagruel from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.
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