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This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 952 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.
the tittle-tattle of two young mangy whores.  By this inconvenient the cotyledons of her matrix were presently loosed, through which the child sprang up and leaped, and so, entering into the hollow vein, did climb by the diaphragm even above her shoulders, where the vein divides itself into two, and from thence taking his way towards the left side, issued forth at her left ear.  As soon as he was born, he cried not as other babes use to do, Miez, miez, miez, miez, but with a high, sturdy, and big voice shouted about, Some drink, some drink, some drink, as inviting all the world to drink with him.  The noise hereof was so extremely great, that it was heard in both the countries at once of Beauce and Bibarois.  I doubt me, that you do not thoroughly believe the truth of this strange nativity.  Though you believe it not, I care not much:  but an honest man, and of good judgment, believeth still what is told him, and that which he finds written.

Is this beyond our law or our faith—­against reason or the holy Scripture?  For my part, I find nothing in the sacred Bible that is against it.  But tell me, if it had been the will of God, would you say that he could not do it?  Ha, for favour sake, I beseech you, never emberlucock or inpulregafize your spirits with these vain thoughts and idle conceits; for I tell you, it is not impossible with God, and, if he pleased, all women henceforth should bring forth their children at the ear.  Was not Bacchus engendered out of the very thigh of Jupiter?  Did not Roquetaillade come out at his mother’s heel, and Crocmoush from the slipper of his nurse?  Was not Minerva born of the brain, even through the ear of Jove?  Adonis, of the bark of a myrrh tree; and Castor and Pollux of the doupe of that egg which was laid and hatched by Leda?  But you would wonder more, and with far greater amazement, if I should now present you with that chapter of Plinius, wherein he treateth of strange births, and contrary to nature, and yet am not I so impudent a liar as he was.  Read the seventh book of his Natural History, chap.3, and trouble not my head any more about this.

Chapter 1.VII.

After what manner Gargantua had his name given him, and how he tippled, bibbed, and curried the can.

The good man Grangousier, drinking and making merry with the rest, heard the horrible noise which his son had made as he entered into the light of this world, when he cried out, Some drink, some drink, some drink; whereupon he said in French, Que grand tu as et souple le gousier! that is to say, How great and nimble a throat thou hast.  Which the company hearing, said that verily the child ought to be called Gargantua; because it was the first word that after his birth his father had spoke, in imitation, and at the example of the ancient Hebrews; whereunto he condescended, and his mother was very well pleased therewith.  In the meanwhile, to quiet the child, they gave him to drink a tirelaregot, that is, till his throat was like to crack with it; then was he carried to the font, and there baptized, according to the manner of good Christians.

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