Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 952 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.
Priapus (who dwells here at liberty, all subjection of fastened codpieces, or bolts, bars, and locks, abdicated), remained sticking in her natural Christmas-box in such a lamentable manner that it were never to come out, but eternally should stick there unless thou didst pull it out with thy teeth; what wouldst thou do?  Wouldst thou everlastingly leave it there, or wouldst thou pluck it out with thy grinders?  Answer me, O thou ram of Mahomet, since thou art one of the devil’s gang.  I would, replied the sheepmonger, take thee such a woundy cut on this spectacle-bearing lug of thine with my trusty bilbo as would smite thee dead as a herring.  Thus, having taken pepper in the nose, he was lugging out his sword, but, alas!—­cursed cows have short horns,—­it stuck in the scabbard; as you know that at sea cold iron will easily take rust by reason of the excessive and nitrous moisture.  Panurge, so smitten with terror that his heart sunk down to his midriff, scoured off to Pantagruel for help; but Friar John laid hand on his flashing scimitar that was new ground, and would certainly have despatched Dingdong to rights, had not the skipper and some of his passengers beseeched Pantagruel not to suffer such an outrage to be committed on board his ship.  So the matter was made up, and Panurge and his antagonist shaked fists, and drank in course to one another in token of a perfect reconciliation.

Chapter 4.VI.

How, the fray being over, Panurge cheapened one of Dingdong’s sheep.

This quarrel being hushed, Panurge tipped the wink upon Epistemon and Friar John, and taking them aside, Stand at some distance out of the way, said he, and take your share of the following scene of mirth.  You shall have rare sport anon, if my cake be not dough, and my plot do but take.  Then addressing himself to the drover, he took off to him a bumper of good lantern wine.  The other pledged him briskly and courteously.  This done, Panurge earnestly entreated him to sell him one of his sheep.

But the other answered him, Is it come to that, friend and neighbour?  Would you put tricks upon travellers?  Alas, how finely you love to play upon poor folk!  Nay, you seem a rare chapman, that’s the truth on’t.  Oh, what a mighty sheep-merchant you are!  In good faith, you look liker one of the diving trade than a buyer of sheep.  Adzookers, what a blessing it would be to have one’s purse well lined with chink near your worship at a tripe-house when it begins to thaw!  Humph, humph, did not we know you well, you might serve one a slippery trick!  Pray do but see, good people, what a mighty conjuror the fellow would be reckoned.  Patience, said Panurge; but waiving that, be so kind as to sell me one of your sheep.  Come, how much?  What do you mean, master of mine? answered the other.  They are long-wool sheep; from these did Jason take his golden fleece.  The gold of the house of Burgundy was drawn from them.  Zwoons, man, they are oriental sheep, topping sheep, fatted sheep, sheep of quality.  Be it so, said Panurge; but sell me one of them, I beseech you; and that for a cause, paying you ready money upon the nail, in good and lawful occidental current cash.  Wilt say how much?  Friend, neighbour, answered the seller of mutton, hark ye me a little, on the ear.

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Gargantua and Pantagruel from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.