Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 952 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.
and other their neighbours, all stiff drinkers, brave fellows, and good players at the kyles.  The good man Grangousier took great pleasure in their company, and commanded there should be no want nor pinching for anything.  Nevertheless he bade his wife eat sparingly, because she was near her time, and that these tripes were no very commendable meat.  They would fain, said he, be at the chewing of ordure, that would eat the case wherein it was.  Notwithstanding these admonitions, she did eat sixteen quarters, two bushels, three pecks and a pipkin full.  O the fair fecality wherewith she swelled, by the ingrediency of such shitten stuff!

After dinner they all went out in a hurl to the grove of the willows, where, on the green grass, to the sound of the merry flutes and pleasant bagpipes, they danced so gallantly, that it was a sweet and heavenly sport to see them so frolic.

Chapter 1.V.

The Discourse of the Drinkers.

Then did they fall upon the chat of victuals and some belly furniture to be snatched at in the very same place.  Which purpose was no sooner mentioned, but forthwith began flagons to go, gammons to trot, goblets to fly, great bowls to ting, glasses to ring.  Draw, reach, fill, mix, give it me without water.  So, my friend, so, whip me off this glass neatly, bring me hither some claret, a full weeping glass till it run over.  A cessation and truce with thirst.  Ha, thou false fever, wilt thou not be gone?  By my figgins, godmother, I cannot as yet enter in the humour of being merry, nor drink so currently as I would.  You have catched a cold, gammer?  Yea, forsooth, sir.  By the belly of Sanct Buff, let us talk of our drink:  I never drink but at my hours, like the Pope’s mule.  And I never drink but in my breviary, like a fair father guardian.  Which was first, thirst or drinking?  Thirst, for who in the time of innocence would have drunk without being athirst?  Nay, sir, it was drinking; for privatio praesupponit habitum.  I am learned, you see:  Foecundi calices quem non fecere disertum?  We poor innocents drink but too much without thirst.  Not I truly, who am a sinner, for I never drink without thirst, either present or future.  To prevent it, as you know, I drink for the thirst to come.  I drink eternally.  This is to me an eternity of drinking, and drinking of eternity.  Let us sing, let us drink, and tune up our roundelays.  Where is my funnel?  What, it seems I do not drink but by an attorney?  Do you wet yourselves to dry, or do you dry to wet you?  Pish, I understand not the rhetoric (theoric, I should say), but I help myself somewhat by the practice.  Baste! enough!  I sup, I wet, I humect, I moisten my gullet, I drink, and all for fear of dying.  Drink always and you shall never die.  If I drink not, I am a-ground, dry, gravelled and spent.  I am stark dead without drink, and my soul ready to fly into some marsh amongst frogs; the soul never

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Gargantua and Pantagruel from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.