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Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 952 pages of information about Gargantua and Pantagruel.
and heart, which is the shop of all good and evil; of goodness, if it be upright, and that its affections be regulated by the pure and clean spirit of righteousness; and, on the other side, of wickedness, if its inclinations, straying beyond the bounds of equity, be corrupted and depraved by the malice and suggestions of the devil.  It is only the novelty and new-fangledness thereof which I dislike, together with the contempt of common custom and the fashion which is in use.

The colour, answered Panurge, is convenient, for it is conform to that of my council-board carpet; therefore will I henceforth hold me with it, and more narrowly and circumspectly than ever hitherto I have done look to my affairs and business.  Seeing I am once out of debt, you never yet saw man more unpleasing than I will be, if God help me not.  Lo, here be my spectacles.  To see me afar off, you would readily say that it were Friar (John) Burgess.  I believe certainly that in the next ensuing year I shall once more preach the Crusade.  Bounce, buckram.  Do you see this russet?  Doubt not but there lurketh under it some hid property and occult virtue known to very few in the world.  I did not take it on before this morning, and, nevertheless, am already in a rage of lust, mad after a wife, and vehemently hot upon untying the codpiece-point; I itch, I tingle, I wriggle, and long exceedingly to be married, that, without the danger of cudgel-blows, I may labour my female copes-mate with the hard push of a bull-horned devil.  O the provident and thrifty husband that I then will be!  After my death, with all honour and respect due to my frugality, will they burn the sacred bulk of my body, of purpose to preserve the ashes thereof, in memory of the choicest pattern that ever was of a perfectly wary and complete householder.  Cops body, this is not the carpet whereon my treasurer shall be allowed to play false in his accounts with me, by setting down an X for a V, or an L for an S. For in that case should I make a hail of fisticuffs to fly into his face.  Look upon me, sir, both before and behind,—­it is made after the manner of a toga, which was the ancient fashion of the Romans in time of peace.  I took the mode, shape, and form thereof in Trajan’s Column at Rome, as also in the Triumphant Arch of Septimus Severus.  I am tired of the wars, weary of wearing buff-coats, cassocks, and hoquetons.  My shoulders are pitifully worn and bruised with the carrying of harness.  Let armour cease, and the long robe bear sway!  At least it must be so for the whole space of the succeeding year, if I be married; as yesterday, by the Mosaic law, you evidenced.  In what concerneth the breeches, my great-aunt Laurence did long ago tell me, that the breeches were only ordained for the use of the codpiece, and to no other end; which I, upon a no less forcible consequence, give credit to every whit, as well as to the saying of the fine fellow Galen, who in his ninth book, Of the Use and Employment of

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